“Don’t forget to take your dose.”

My stomach in knots, as I shakily spoke.

“Baby, you know my death is coming close.”

“But mommy, I don’t want you to go.”

Doctors walked past,

Blurs of white stepping in and out fast,

As my mommy and I tried to make the night last,

Pulling out memories and revisiting the past.

All of our ‘remember when’s’,

Made me wish I was there again,

Back when I thought there was time to spend,

With my mommy, on who I could always depend.

“Why’d this have to happen now?”

My lips trembled as thoughts were spoken aloud.

“How can we change it, baby? Please, tell me how.”

“Cancer can’t take you! It’s not allowed!”

I crawled up beside her,

Beside my hero, my mother,

I heard the slow heart of my source of will-power,

Cursing the sickness that absorbed and devoured.

My mind rushed with things I needed to say,

Secrets that I kept so they’d stay out of the way.

But I was cut short as time ticked away,

And only one memory in my mind began to play.

“Remember when I started to cry,

On that one day you never told me goodbye?

I always knew it was a silly reason why,

But you came back anyways with this reply.”

“My little princess, I love you!

And I’ll always know you love me too.

So if I don’t say goodbye, don’t be blue,

Because our bond is strong and will always be true.”

The memory made up for things I couldn’t tell her,

And in this moment it made me feel the slightest bit better.

But yet all these emotions were flooding like water,

As I knew I was going to lose my mommy forever.

“I promise I love you baby, that’s all you need to know,”

And this time it was her voice that shakily spoke.

“I’m not scared of death, I’m just so scared of letting you go.”

She moaned in pain as we realized death was too close.

“Mommy!” I screamed, scared out of my mind.

She smiled, then it faded as she layed there and died.

It’s undescribable what loss and longing I felt inside,

I went dumb and just couldn’t bring myself to cry.

I need you,

I want you,

I miss you…

I love you mommy.

Dedicated to all who have lost their moms.

In sickness or old age,

Whatever it may have been,

This is for you.