Lady Snow

I lay awake in the dark, unable to sleep. A fortnight has passed since you went away, since you left me alone in this cruel world. I know it's not your fault – this cruelest twist of fate. Who would have guessed that conversation was to be our last, that kiss from your sweet lips my final one? I can still almost taste it, I can still hear your voice faintly echoing deep within me, where my precious memory of you is safely kept and cherished. I love you so much. You're my everything. I'll never turn my back on you. All those things we used to say to each other... your soft voice, your gentle touch.

I turn around under the covers and shiver – this bed has become so cold and empty since you've been gone. I remember how I used to come and lie here during the day, when you were away and I started to miss you too much. I could feel your presence in this room and smell your scent from the sheets, but not anymore. You're gone and you aren't coming back. No more shared bowls of ice cream, no more waking up to see you, no more goodnight kisses before falling asleep in your arms, no more holding hands and walking in the rain together. Tears well up from my eyes as I start to cry once more – no more anything, but painful reminders that you're gone and feelings of being lost & empty.

I listen to the rain drumming the roof. I get up and walk to the balcony, reaching my hand out to feel the droplets. Looking down to our backyard, I imagine us running around and dancing there in the rain. I laughed as you'd chase me, screaming when you caught me. You broke my shell, set me free and brought me to life – without you, I'm nothing but a pretty, fragile, insignificant porcelain doll with no meaning and no purpose. I remember that one sunny day... I was sitting on the ground, enjoying the scent of the freshly cut grass. You sat next to me, stroking my cheek and looking deep into my eyes before kissing me. You undressed us, kissing me all over my body as my hands roamed your skin shyly. Feeling your breasts against mine, you pushed me down and made love to me.

I start shivering and snap back to reality, noticing the rain has turned into snow. My tears have stopped flowing as I shiver violently from the cold, but not wanting to go back inside into the house, where you no longer remain. Yet, this is the only place I could ever call home, because home is where your heart is. My heart has always been with you, but now you're gone and I have nowhere left to belong. I'm left alone once again, too scared to face the world, missing the safety of your arms around me. The view looks enchanted as the big snowflakes drift down slowly. I catch one on my hand and watch it melt away. You may know what you have before you lose, but only after it's gone will you realize it completely. That's what this pain, this emptiness inside me has made me realize – just how much you really mean to me.

I am your Lady Snow,

you are my Ms. Rainbow.

I showed you: love is for giving.

You taught me: life is for living.

You pulled me out of the dark.

I love you with all my heart.

Together for all eternity...

That's our destiny.

I hug the stuffed teddy bear that you gave me, whispering that I love you with a single, lonely tear falling down my cheek as I close my eyes one last time, falling into darkness, hoping to find you again.