The black and white photo on the
glossy paper is bringing back old memories
of those butterflies I felt the first time around
and-
here I am again, insides tossing and turning to each glance
or smile I might inherit.

Here I am again
thinking too far ahead and winding up...
fetal position on that dirty tile floor
where
I find that the automatic sinks are sinking lower
than I

As the methodic click
rush
blush
flows through my head

Here I am again
rising from daydream and
heading towards you
careful not to make it obvious but I do anyway
there you are...
adverting your eyes and
searching for the winning score or
an excuse to
why you won’t be here two Fridays from now.

Here I am memorizing your daily routines to
take one look and remind myself
I am not yours
my hopes are pushed too high for such simplicity
and
here I go again falling for
each fairytale ending I’ve read and
seen but could never be
It could never--

here i am again falling and feeling too much for so little
wondering if
you'll fall too.

Here we are again
pretending its over but-
it never really began.