Private EYE

Chapter 2

I woke up, and blinked. I was in the most bizarre room I had ever seen in my life. Everything was white. It was the craziest thing I’d ever seen. The bed was white, the sheets, the walls. Like I was in a hospital. It was odd, but strangely comforting. I sighed, and thought about earlier. I blushed, rubbing my face, and tried to remember. My first kiss! It was not meant to be an actual kiss. I mentally smacked myself. I was here for a job, not to go moony-eyed over a male.

I got up and automatically went through the white drawers, seeing what was there. The inside of the drawers were normal.

“Taking inventory?” asked a smooth voice behind me.

Erik. Crap, I forgot about him. Well, almost.

“Yeah, um.. do you have any pants? It’s kind of cold in here..” I said.

“Really? For a kid living on the street you seem pretty spoiled,” Erik said. “It’s only 50 degrees in here. With the wind chill outside, it’s around 20. And that’s warm, for the winter.”

I sighed, and hung my head in defeat. “I’m…” I felt my face turn red slowly. “I’m embarrassed.” I murmured the last part. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter.”

I was slightly ill at ease half naked, though I could have bore it if it was to my advantage to do so. But now it wasn’t, so I squirmed in my discomfort.

I folded my arms across my chest, and pretended to be very interested in carpet. Erik walked towards me. I could feel him near me, I felt my chest tighten with every step he took towards me.

I felt like this was a complicated game of chess. I made a set-up move, he caught me, I said my piece and pleaded innocent. I made all the moves I could, now it was his turn. He was a couple inches away from me. He raised his hand. I winced, my blonde hair falling to hide my face. When I didn’t feel a blow, I looked up. He was running a hand through his hair.

“If you want something from now on, please ask me. Instead of looking like a stalker by going through my stuff.” Erik said.

Erik was so close to the truth, I felt like laughing. I’m sure I almost laughed, because he looked at me curiously. He moved to the dresser.

“Well, this was an awkward morning for everyone,” I breathed, stretching.

Suddenly Erik was moving towards me. I flinched, and bolted.

Erik easily out-strode me to the door. He grabbed my side, and yanked me to him. He fastened his lips to mine as I moved against him easily.

He was very good at this. Erik was soft, but demanding. He was possessive, but not smothering. My hands, of their own accord grasped for his dark colored shirt. His hands slid up my thighs, circling closer and closer.

I’m sure that my face grew warmer because suddenly he was laughing against my neck. He had a nice laugh. It made me feel tingly.

“Er, what was that all about?” I asked, breathless.

“I always use to have awkward moments with my father. I felt so helpless, like I could never do anything about it. So this time—” He kissed my neck gently. “I did.”

“It’s okay. Some awkward moments are needed. That one was okay as awkward moments go.” I told him gently.

“What about you? What about your parents?”

“My mom was a prostitute. When I was six, I ran away. A woman named Nora took me in, raised me. I went to school, until recently. She passed away in September awhile ago. Never met my dad."

“How old are you anyway?”

“Uh….”I bit my lip. If I told him, he might send me somewhere. I still had two years before I was legal. Suddenly, my stomach growled. “I’m hungry.”

“Me too,” Erik said, unbuttoning my shirt. Oh. He was not talking about food...

“Whoa there.” I held his fingers still. “I…”

Erik started kissing my chest, and watching me.

“I’m uncomfortable with this.” If I wanted to keep my head—and my job—I’d stay out of his sheets while he was there. And I was still a virgin. Sex scared the shit out of me. I held his wrists, squirming out of his person space.

Erik sighed, and I flopped on the bed, pushing my hair out of my face. Erik moved so he was over me.

“Hey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push. I promise to protect you. Shh, you’re okay.” I wondered why he was talking that way and suddenly realized I had started to cry. He pulled me up, cradling me to his chest. He petted my hair. We sat there, together, for a long time.

I sniffed. I was being ridiculous. I pushed at his chest. Erik didn’t budge, grasping my wrists. He kissed my forehead. I buried my face in his shoulder, embarassed again.

The phone rang. Erik let go of my wrists, and slipped out of the room. I sighed, locking the door. Erik tapped on the door as soon as the lock clicked.

“Not that I don’t believe you, but I think this door is a little bit more of a protection than you.” I told him. I was doing was I was best at: Pushing people away. So I could be safe. So I could keep what little fragile sanity I had left after dealing with the world.

“Just open the door.”

“No. I’m taking a nap. Leave me alone.”

“I will break it down if you don’t.”

“Please let me. Just for a little bit. I need to be by myself. Think. Clear my head.” Wasn’t that the truth? Erik scrambled my brain cells. His scent, his eyes, his body twisted my brain off its axis and on its head.

I heard him sigh, and leave. I dove to the bed and hid under the protective, cotton white covers.

……………

I felt warm breath in my ear. Warm arms were snaked around my body; my back against a hard chest. A long leg was thrown over both of mine. I ran my fingers through his. I looked back at the door. It wasn't broken so he had probably picked the lock. I smiled slightly. Just because I pushed people away didn’t mean I wasn’t lonely. I liked people, but people weren't safe. Him holding me, this whole odd new juncture in my life, was probably the most peaceful I’d ever been. I sighed, I could feel him staring at the back of my head.

“Why do you care so much?” I asked.

“Why do you insist on hiding from me?” Erik retorted.

“Tell me first.”

“I don’t know. It’s the weirdest thing. I miss you if I’m not holding you. I feel empty, torn. I like being with you, like this. I feel like I need this. I feel like I need to comfort you in your tears. Just touch you, hold you, be with you. It’s different, and very frustrating. I never felt this way before.” Erik sighed, his chin on my shoulder. There was a pause. “Do you feel this way too? Why do you hide? Are you frightened? Your heart beats so fast, I can feel it…”

I thought. How did I feel about this? I was scared. Everything I’ve ever had was taken from me. I’d never been with anyone before. Everything about him set off alarms in my brain, saying that I shouldn’t let my guard down. I liked being in control, and everything about him just threw me off balance and I couldn’t breathe. Erik’s smell, his eyes, his lips, his body just scrambled my brains cells when I knew I should stay on my toes. But my heart hurt whenever he wasn’t holding me. Like I needed to touch him to breathe, to live. I needed him to need me, to hold me… I breathed. Like I needed him to love me.

Erik pet my hair. “I’d snap in two if you denied me.” I thought it, and he said it.

The realization of my thoughts hit me. I loved Erik. And he loved me too. I started to cry. I was suppose to spy on him, sell his deepest, most private secrets to the local noisy mob boss so I could eat for the week. I would be okay if it was a one-way love/crush for either of us. If I just loved him or he just loved me… But the two-way love bond we shared—and now recognized—snapped an anchor to both of our hearts, minds and souls. It would destroy us both if I did something that low. I was so fucked.

“Shh, you’re all right.” Erik was facing me, cradling me to his chest. He kissed my face until I calmed down. I had hiccups.

“I’m sorry,” I told him, hiccupping. “I—”

Erik kissed me slowly, rubbing his lips against mine to open them slightly. Moving on top of me, he thrust his tongue in my mouth. My head was swimming. Whoa, I was losing it, and quickly. I got up, and pulled away from him.

“Er…” my head spun dizzily. I just wished the world would stop spinning. I was loosing my grip on what I knew, and I hated it. I didn’t care what anyone said, love was a straight-up bitch.

You like? Sorry I took around fifty thousand years. I just posted this story randomly one day, and a couple people seemed to like it; so I'd feel bad if I deleted it. I wrote this story for a beloved friend of mine. Only too bad she doesnt really like yaoi. Oh well. Life is ironic. (though i dont know how.. O.o) Poo... I was going to type something but now I can't remember. OH! (This is the sound of me remembering) This story might get a little emo. AND I obviously want to put smut in, but i want you to love ( i mean REALLY LOVE THEM) the charachters first, so, not yet. BWAH HA HA. SOrry took so long, and for this, though, I dont really read this part when authors write so I dont expect you too. Please review... or not. That's good too. lol. Nite!