This is a prequel to Tick Tock. If you haven't read that, while you still may read this, you might have difficulty understanding what's going on. But by all means, read on. I have no qualms about you doing so.

The Prequel

Stumbling off our bed, he mumbles a garbled, “Mornin’,” then yawns and drags himself towards the bathroom. Moments later I hear the shower running, a lulling sound that has the comfort of routine. Every day he wakes me, jostling the bed as he slides out on his end. When he closes the door to our bathroom without glancing my way once, I know he expects me to roll over and fall right back asleep—as he always does. And – as always – I do no such thing. Instead, I sit up with the covers bunched around my waist and listen to the dull pounding of water in the shower, like my throbbing heart. Only when I hear the water turned off do I slip back beneath the covers and close my eyes just as the bathroom door is opened.

I pretend to sleep because I know what that ensures: just as it happens every other morning, he gently shakes my shoulders and whispers my name. Ah, how beautiful it sounds when coming from his parted lips. With his face so close to mine, I feel his warm breath ghosting along my upturned cheek. Unable to conceal my smile, I end my charade and let my eyes flutter open.

But that is all the attention I’m ever offered. After a fleeting peck on the check, which I relish, he leaves me alone so he can get dressed and go wake our son. That boy—all the attention goes to him. I married the love of my life because I knew he would be the perfect father. What I did not expect was for myself to be forgotten in place of our child. His child, really, since I want nothing to do with a boy who stole my love from me. Since his birth, I have been neglected; I do not exist.

But I deserve attention. I was here first. Where our son takes advantage of his father’s love, I love him always and constantly. I will do anything for him. I would even kill for him. So yes, I deserve attention, too. And someday – perhaps today – I shall have it.

3.17.08

Author's note: So a few friends have been asking, "How could a mother do that?!" Now, firstly, it does happen; my story may not be true per se, but that doesn't make reality any less disgusting or real. But, that being said, I have no idea how someone could do that. Thank God, I am not a sicko. Well, not in the "needs to be locked up" sense. I'm more of the "needs to see a shrink" sense. ;-) But I attempted a prequel for their sakes: what were Mother-Dearest's thoughts when she decided to murder her little one? Let me know what you think.