Big Boys Don’t Cry

April 13, 2008

I felt that before I wrote this story, I should explain a few things. To readers that know me personally, they may recognize some of the events in this story. It is true that some events or circumstances are lased off of real life experiences. However, I use the term “based” very loosely. I supposed “inspired by” is a better way of saying things. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. This is not some kind of autobiography in any way, shape, or form.

I got the idea for this story in August, 2006 when I woke up in the hospital feeling disoriented and helpless. I had no idea what was going on, but the doctor was telling me that I’d been on the verge of dying and that I was a type one diabetic. I’d just closed my eyes and felt my fingers twitch. I wanted someone to be there for me. That was when I felt a hand slide over mine and I looked up to see my little brother holding my hand. It was a big shock to me.

Now, there are three and a half years between my younger brother and I. Thus, I’ve always felt the need to look after him. I nearly got suspended from school during elementary school because I beat up an older boy who was picking on my brother, and when I told the teachers, they said they couldn’t do anything about it. Hell, I didn’t even let my parents yell at him half the time. He was always such a quiet and reserved boy. I thought he needed me.

Things seemed so much different when I was in that hospital bed, though. I began to wonder, “What do I look like through his eyes?” I remembered one night when he had a few friends over. The boys were acting up and I told them to calm down and behave, but they only mocked me. My brother had gotten mad and told them all, “You’d better respect Joey! Joey practically raised me!” That meant he respected me, right?

So what do you do? How do you feel when someone you look up to and respect is recovering from a near-death experience in a hospital bed? It was thoughts and feelings that inspired this story: Big Boys Don’t Cry. The story is about how a little boy, Sam, sees his big sister, Jessie, and events in her life. Jessie suffers abuse from her father as well as many other hardships.

Like I said before, the events in this story are inspired by things that I have personally gone through, but they are not real events from my life. They are magnified and twisted around to create this story, so much to the point that they aren’t anything like the events they were inspired by. I just felt I needed to clarify that for some of my readers. Thank you for taking your time to read this, and I hope you enjoy the story.