Author's note:

Seme-Senpai: Well,yeah... This is my first try at writing something funny! I hope there will be at least someone who will enjoy my lame joke attempts...

Gamie: Hmph. Nobody will enjoy this...

Seme-Senpai: Geeze,you sure know how to make someone feel loved...

Mazzazaki: Can we just start now?

Seme-Senpai: Alright! On with the story!

Mazzazaki's guide to dating

Entry one: Do not use a hammer (or nails) on a first date

Mazzazaki was sick of it. She hated and loathed the fact that she was,in fact, alone. It seemed like everyone else had a boyfriend,even Gamie had one! And all Gamie ever did with her dates was to play various games with them! Mazzazaki walked through the sparcley decorated apartment she was currently sharing with her friend to Gamie's room.

The older girl was,as usual,playing video games. In fact,she was so engulfed in the game,she didn't even notice when Mazzazaki entered the room while multiple sparkles floated randomly in the air around her.

''Hey,Gamie.'' Mazzazaki said grumpily.

''What?'' The older girl replied with an annoyed tone in her voice.

''I'm bored.''

''I don't care.''

''But...''

''Goddammit! If you're so bored,why don't you set up a date?!''

''Great idea! I will! Thanks,Gamie!''

''Whatever...''

Mazzazaki skipped happily to the computer while talking to her pink,flowerpattern chainsaw,as usual. As soon as the computer started,she logged in to the biggest matchmaking site she could find. She started filling out her profile eagerly with totally 'honest' facts...

Three days later,Mazzazaki had randomly found a nice guy on the site and had invited him home. It was still some time until he would be there. To pass the time,she went to bug Gamie again by asking some random,annoying questions.

''Hey,Gamie!''

''What?''

''How was your date last night?''

''Okay,I guess...''

''Was he big?''

''Uh-huh...''

''So he did have big feet!''

Gamie sweatdropped,then she did a facepalm.

30 minutes later,the poor,unsuspecting man rang the doorbell... Suddenly,the door opened.

Mazzazaki gave a big,creepy grin before she said in a sing-song voice:

''Hey,there Graham,you sexy beast!''

Poor Graham was so stunned that he couldn't reply for several seconds.

''What's wrong?'' The creepy psycho girl in front of him asked.

''N-n-nothing... It's just... You don't look like Penelope Cruz at all!'' He shrieked.

''Details,details!''

Graham was dragged into the apartment before he could protest.

And that was how poor,poor Graham found himself sitting on a high chair in the kitchen,terrified while Mazzazaki was happily having a one-sided conversation with him.

''..and then,Gamie said: Video Games!'' Mazzazaki started laughing hysterically at her own joke. 'There has to be some way to escape!' Graham thought desperately. He started thinking. After a while,he came up with an excellent plan to escape.

''Uh,Mazzazaki?''

''What is it,my one and only love?''

''This evening has been fantastic and all,but...''

''Is there anything you're trying to say?''

''Well,not really... It's just that when someone comes home to you...''

''Yes?''

''Don't nail their shoes to the floor to keep them from running!''

There was a long silence. Suddenly Mazzazaki spoke up.

''All righty! Then lemme pull those nails out of your shoes...''

Graham had never ran so fast in his whole life as he did now. Ever.

''Note to self... Never nail anybody to the floor as that kind of bondage is apparently not very appreciated...'' Mazzazaki muttered to herself. Oh,well. She would just have to try another method on her next victim..-I mean date.

End-Entry one

Mazzazaki: ...

Gamie: Well,those sure were lame jokes...

Seme-Senpai: Yeah,I know... They were lame as hell... But please bear with me! It was my first attempt to write something like this and humor isn't my strong side. If you against all odds decide to review,feel free to add suggestions for other entries...Also,I promise that the other entries will be better and more random,I just need to get into the mood.

Gamie: You're so pathetic...Look at you! Pleading on your bare knees! Pathetic!