The most dangerous man in the world sat in a little cell by himself wondering what’s for dinner. It was always something different, and yet the same. That is to say, the name of the dish was always different, and yet it invariably came in the form of a tray of unidentifiable mush that had the same bland taste as yesterday’s. Nevertheless, it was important to know the name. He always asked.

“Does this one really have vegetables in it?”

“Of course. Those bits are spinach and those other ones are cabbage.”

“Gosh. I was just fantasizing about spinach this morning.”

That assurance from the warden that it was spinach was enough to make him feel satisfied, even though it didn't really taste like spinach. Far from it. But that's how the mind works, sometimes. Rather than believing in the actual truth, we believe the things we want to be true.

Now the most dangerous man in the world did not look particularly dangerous, what with a pot belly and a broken leg. It was a title the media gave him, for crashing a fully-loaded plane through the airport. Or rather, for planning to do it. Or rather, for being heard to say (on YouTube) that he planned to do it. In his own defence, he claimed it was only a joke, but in the most humorless country in the world, there were consequences for telling jokes like that. So they put him in a cell, in the most secure prison in the country.

“I was jailed for telling a joke. My only crime was to fail to make people laugh. This is a country that persecutes failures,” he kept saying. Just to be consistent, he continuously told ridiculously unfunny jokes whilst incarcerated. “I’m such a good pilot I could fly a plane without using my hands. No, that was a joke!” he’d say. “Same one that got me in here.” Nevertheless, people–-the inmates and the jailers-–found themselves snickering despite themselves. He soon came to be known mockingly as the Terror, and that the most terrible thing about him were his lame non-sequitur “jokes”.

One fateful evening, he asked to go to the toilet.

“Better chain an iron ball to these legs. Because even with a limp, I can run faster than a cheetah with diarrhea.”

“Very funny.”

“No, I’m serious. You'd better come into the stall with me. Otherwise, I might pull off a disappearing act so great it’d make Houdini break out of his tomb from jealousy.”

“Get out of here.”

“Okay, okay.”

No-one knew how he managed to squeeze out of that tiny window in the stall, if that was indeed the method he used. The local paper ran the news this way: “Most dangerous man in the world escapes most secure prison in the country. Minister says no laughing matter.” The citizens of the most humorless country in the world read that and agreed.