|The Trader's Silk
Author: LittleDoe PM
Hunted, in hiding, the trader's silk gives refuge. My very first story snippet! With Author's NoteRated: Fiction K - English - Adventure - Words: 340 - Published: 04-20-08 - Status: Complete - id: 2507068
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August 23, 2005
The Trader's Silk
It was a small, dark room, about five feet by six feet with the ceiling seven feet off the floor. It was one of the storage rooms of the trader. He kept his silks and fine cloth in this room, which was full at the present moment. The floor was of wood, as was the ceiling, but the walls were of stone and there were no windows. Our host showed us two little beds and food at the back of the room. We ate the food silently as he watched. "You will stay here for now." He said when we had finished, "When it is safe, you will move on." We then lay down on the beds and our friend hid us with some silk. We heard him straighten things up so no one would even think we were there; then he went out and closed the door. I soon fell asleep, for I was tired from the changes that had happened to me, a son of a noble, that day.
Author's Note: I'm proud of this, for it is my very first story snippet ever. I like how it jumps right into the story, not telling what happened before or after. Perhaps if it gets in a book format, this could be the last paragraph of a chapter. Of course, if I could re-write it, I would make a few changes. Maybe I would make the room a little bigger. I don't think a five by six by seven room would hold two hiding, sleeping adults, or even two older children. I also don't really like the wordings of "which was full at the present moment" and "so no one would even think we were there". I would try to word it differently. Other than that, I might also add a few more descriptive sentences. All in all, though, I'm fond of this little story snippet, for its own sake as well for its historic significance.