Bright Lights Black Rainbows

Chapter 12

Billy:

I tugged at my ear and couldn’t help but grin. I could almost feel Ethan’s tongue in my ear.

“Are you ready for this?” Katie looked at me as if the question was the most important question she had ever asked me.

“Ready for what?” I looked back. I knew what she was talking about, but didn’t want to say it.

“Ready for everyone to know.”

“They’re gonna find out sooner or later.”

“Yes. But are you ready for sooner.” She eyed the guys from the football team. They held court in the corner of the cafeteria and I could almost read her thoughts. They weren’t the most accepting at times. They were Neanderthals, she would say. I watched them rag on Jimmy Phelps. He was probably the best tackle we had but he was short and an easy target. I may be ‘Mr. Popular’ on the football team… her thoughts would continue, . . . and every girls’ wet dream, (and here was where she would roll her eyes with contempt) but coming out as gay, certainly didn’t suggest a step up in the social ladder.

The rumor mill worked over time when it came to who was and who wasn’t. And I was pretty sure there were rumors about me too. Especially since I started hanging out with Ethan again. But nobody brought it up, at least not while I was present.

“And what about your dad.” She said it not as a question because there was really no question about how he would react. Not his son.

I tugged at my ear again and looked at her.

The truth was, I was getting to the point that I didn’t really care what anyone thought. I don’t know how much of that was just hormonal and how much of it was realistic consideration but keeping it secret was becoming more and more difficult. And everyone knew Ethan was gay. And so by association, whether anyone said it or not, so was I.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Katie stared hard at me, her forehead creased. “And don’t roll your eyes at me.” She whacked my arm as she walked past me and headed over to the football team. I quickened my pace to catch up to her.

“What are you doing?” I think my voice cracked.

“I’m just going to make it sooner than later. You’re ready. And they look ready.” I looked up at the guys. Trent Masterson had Jimmy Phelps in a headlock and was rubbing his head with his knuckles.

“Katie…”

Katie plopped herself down on one of the cafeteria tables and grinned. I didn’t like the look of it and stood my ground. She watched the guys until they realized she was staring at them. “Good morning boys.” Her voice was a bit diabolical. I cringed a bit. Katie has an evil streak, I mean really evil.

They all eyed her suspiciously. I think some on them were afraid of her. I know I would be if it weren’t for the fact that we were best friends.

“Hi Trent.”

Trent paused mid rub and looked up at her, his jaw slack, his eyes bewildered, the proverbial deer in the headlights. Jimmy took the chance and freed himself, edging back and out of reach.

“Umm, Katie.” I didn’t like where this was going. “Katie. We need to get to history class.”

She looked over at me. “Oh, I know.” She sounded casual, but I knew that voice. “I just wanted to ask Trent a question.”

“You can ask him later. We’re gonna be late.” I started towards her.

Katie hopped up off the table and hurried over in front of Trent. Several of the others guys stepped back quickly. I think they recognized the look in her eyes. Seductive, maybe, dangerous certainly. “It won’t take long.” She said it without taking her eyes off of Trent. His cheeks were suddenly flush as she touched his chest with one finger. “I was just wondering, you know, if you get hard when you wrestle with any guy, or if it’s just Jimmy?”

“Oh my God!” You could hear the intake of breath as the guys reacted to what Katie had just said. Some of them laughed. I yanked her back before Masterson could hit her. He started to swing at her, but several of the guys grabbed him. It was then, his arms held behind him, that everyone in front could see just what Katie must have seen as we walked up. Trent was sporting wood.

I pulled her back faster as Trent struggled against his captors. He found his voice and bellowed. “Get off me!” He tried to shake the guys holding him off.

I ran, pushing Katie along in front of me until we were outside the cafeteria

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“What?” She looked at me, innocent and doe eyed. “I was just trying to prove a point.”

“You can’t just … call a guy out like that.” I ran my hand through my hair, shaking my head. My heart was pounding, not because she nearly got decked by Masterson, but because I thought she was going to say something about me and Ethan.

“Oh please. Like it’s a big secret. Trent Masterson is a giant homophobe because he doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s giant homo. All that macho posturing is a dead give away.”

“I don’t posture.”

Katie made a sound, not quite a laugh, not quite a cough.

“What? I don’t!”

“Not like Trent does. You’re right. But you’ve got a nice little façade going on.”

“What are you talking about?”

“How many girls have you dated since I’ve known you? How many girls have you made out with since I’ve known you?”

“That’s not the same at all.”

“That’s what I said. Not the same as Trent. But you can’t tell me you didn’t know. I know for a fact that when you were with Amy Phillips you knew.

I looked at Katie then lowered my eyes. “There’s a difference between knowing and knowing. I didn’t want to be. I prayed not to be. I begged to Whoever’s supposed to be listening, not to be. I did what I was supposed to do. Acted like I was supposed to act. But that didn’t change what I was.”

“Who.”

I looked up. “What?”

Katie pulled me into a hug. “It didn’t change who you were. Who you are.”

“You’re not gonna start crying now are you?”

Katie pulled back then and whacked me in the arm. “You can be such an ass.”

“What. I’m just trying to keep the emotions in check. I know how girls can get.” I smiled and back away slowly as Katie started to bunch her fist. “Violence is not the answer.”

“Since you’ve had so little experience. Let me show you how girls can get.”

“Billy!”

His voice was enough to stop me cold in my tracks and seeing him in the hallway sent my sudden mood of elation crashing.

“Preston?” I looked at him, feeling Katie bump into me as I stopped. “What are you doing here?”

“I just got back this weekend. Dad transferred back to Fairfield.”

Preston Hayes. I’d forgotten all about him. Completely. His family had moved to this small town in Italy. His father, opening a new manufacturing plant outside of Rome, had taken the family with him. That was in the 9th grade. A lifetime ago.

He looked over my shoulder at Katie and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh. Yeah. Preston, this is Katie. Katie, Preston Hayes. Preston and I were best friends up until he moved back in the 9th grade.” I looked back at Preston. “How was Italy?”

“Italy?” Katie’s like that, give her an in and she’s all over it. I watched her walk up to him and weave her arm through his. “I’ve always wanted to live in Italy.”

Preston looked down at her arm and the hand touching his bicep then back up at me, his eyebrow raised again.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “She’s harmless. She has no appreciation for personal space.”

Katie scowled, staring daggers at me.

“What it’s true.”

Preston carefully withdrew his arm from her grasp. “I gotta get to English.” He looked at a schedule in his hand and then at the numbers on the doors. “Where’s 217?”

I pointed past the library. “Straight down that way and to the left. You have Ms Connors?”

He nodded.

“She’s easy. Even for someone who’s been speaking Italian for the last 3 years.”

“Whatever. I gotta go. Give me your number and I’ll call you later.” He handed me his phone and I punched in my phone number.

“Cool.”

I watched him run down the hall and turn the corner.

Katie stood with her arms crossed, her foot tapping. “So how come I’ve never heard anything about this Preston guy?”

“Huh?”

“Your best friend there.” She nodded in Preston’s direction.

“He’s not my best friend. Well he was, but, he’s been gone forever. I didn’t think he’d be coming back at all.”

“Uh huh.”

“What?”

“So tell me about him.” She had that look in her eyes. Like she thinks she knows something and is just waiting for that moment when she can say “Aha!”

“We grew up together. Little league, Boy Scouts.”

“You were in the Boy Scouts?”

I gave her the Boy Scout salute. “3 years. Always be prepared.”

“Who are you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s just. I’ve known you for what almost 5 years and you’ve never mentioned Boy Scouts, little league or Preston Hayes. I think there’s a story there.”

“You think there’s a story everywhere.” I shrugged her off and started walking towards history class.

“Spill it. What aren’t you telling me?” She hadn’t started walking with me, but instead stood still, her arms still crossed, her posture expectant. “You and he weren’t…”

“Why is it that every time there’s something you don’t know, you automatically assume…”

“Because…”

“You know everything isn’t about sex.”

“Yes it is. Everything is about sex when there are secrets involved.”
“Who said anything about secrets?” I started walking again and this time she followed.

“Then why haven’t you mentioned him before?”

“I told you. 9th grade was a long time ago. Plus . . . Plus there’s nothing to tell.” My voice rose an octave and she backed up, her hands out in front of her.

“Okay. Okay. There’s nothing to tell.” Katie harrumphed pushing past me. I could tell she wasn’t believing a word I said. “But when things blow up out of control and Preston wants to have your babies and you have to tell him about Ethan and tell Ethan about him…”

“He doesn’t . . . He doesn’t want to have my babies!”

“Touch a nerve, did I?” That knowing smile was back. “You know, I really didn’t see this coming. I should have. I mean Ethan and whatshisface…Dillon. It only makes sense that you’d have someone hiding in a closet somewhere….so to speak.” She paused before she opened the door to history. “You know, I’m starting to think every guy at Fairweather is gay.”

I followed her in, growling in response. She was infuriating. It occurred to me only as I sat down that Ethan was in English at this very moment. In Ms Connors’ class.