DAY 2--Mood: Annoyed.

Damn. Was looking back in the pages, and saw I forgot to add how the frog thing ended.

Right. So—the frog. Goddamned ugly thing, if you ask me, but I’m just a British vampire who has to deal with being sexy every goddamned day for the rest of eternity.

Shit, now I just sound—what’s the word? Right, emo. Damn emos.

The ugly frog, right.

Well, you know how that girl said she didn’t think she was in any of my classes.

The. Very. Next. Class.

When I look up, she is sitting in the seat to my right.

God damn it! She’s going to pester me, isn’t she?

Surprisingly, though, she doesn’t. She just pays complete and utter attention to the teacher. So, either she like, loves English, or she’s hot for the teacher. I can’t see why she would be; he’s got a nasty, nasty beard, and when I’m in the class, normally cute teachers become less cute. I guess that’s a good thing, though; over the years I’ve probably helped prevent several cases of the rape of minors.

Not that I, well, care, to be honest. But, you hold onto those human things where you can. It’s life. (Can I say life? And why didn’t this bother me until just now?)

Moving ON.

Well, I go out around to the friend right after school, and I mean immediately, ‘cause I sure as hell wasn’t sticking around. And I spot the big tree with the white flowers.

Guess what?

It is a friggin’ romance tree.

No joke. Friggin’ tree that has flowers in goddamned February has got, like, three bloody couples saying their oh-so-touching goodbyes for the day!

Yes, in case you haven’t realized, I was not happy. Frog girl played me for an idiot, and problem is, I was.

So now I’m stuck waiting under this romance tree, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. I do not need the sort of attention this is likely to cause. Because of the whole vampire thing.

Damn. I’m hungry. Brb, going to go get some lamb blood.

…

Ok, back. So, back to the romance tree.

After two agonizing minutes of waiting, the girl comes up to me. “Glad to see you’re here.”

She was sniggering! She was actually sniggering! I mustered up my death glare, 25 full power. “Yes. Just gimme the damn frog and let’s get this over with.”

Obligingly, she handed over the green bugger, and I shoved it in my backpack. Apparently, a little too quickly.

“Woah,” the girl said, “that was quick moving. Well, I suppose you have my undying gratitude now.”

“What’s your name?” I growled. Why the fuck?

She looked at me weirdly, and for once, we were on the same page. “…Why?”

“Got to know who I’m forevermore indebted to, don’t I?” I growled.

…What?? It was necessary, to defuse any potential romantic tension in the scene! Good god, shut up already!

She was sort of pleased anyway, I think, so my plan sort of fell flat. (No thanks to you.) “Err…Buddha?”

Death glare now on 50 full power. “Your real name.”

“Marilyn.”

“Marilyn what?”

“Hmmm…Marilyn Monroe.”

75 full power. Shit, she should’ve been (metaphorically) liquefied by now! “Get serious!”

“I am!” Jessica smiled. “As far as you know, my last name’s Monroe. And, why should I give my real last name to you? You could be a stalker.”

“I am not a stalker.” I hate being called a stalker. It has happened too often to me.

“Oh? Then why haven’t you given me your name?”

Shit. She had me there. “It’s James.”

“James what?”

“James Anderson.”

“Well, Mr. Anderson.” She smiled. “You know, you’re probably going to miss your bus.”

I turned around, and, damn it, she was right. I had to run down my bus.

Yes, I do ride the bus. Usually, I take the emergency exit seat, so that if I have too much of a…feeding urge, I can leave quickly. Fortunately, it has only happened three times so far that I’ve needed to, but I still have to sit in those seats. Bloody horrible things.

We should probably talk about today, right? Right.

Well, today? Strange. Yes, strange.

First of all, I didn’t get approached by a single girl. Not a one. I mean, that’s sort of normal when you’re in the halls, but then they were all, like, shrinking back in class and everything. I had to partner up with the boy nerds in science, which does not usually happen. Also, I think one of the boy nerds was gay, so I was a little freaked out about that, too.

Question that just popped into my head: has this “Marilyn Monroe” chick gotten the entire female student body in on some vast conspiracy against me?

…

Nah, she’s probably not popular enough. I mean sure, she’s pretty, in a passing way, but she didn’t have a fake tan, so I figure she wasn’t one of the upper social class.

God DAMN you humans! Must you see romance in everything?!

For your information, I was making a purely scientific observation.

But, she is pretty weird.

Like in English today.

Which was weird.

In English, she paid complete attention to the lesson for like, the entire first half, pretty much. I had my head on my desk, as per usual. Then, I turn it and

FREAKING “MARILYN MONROE” IS STARING AT ME.

Yes.

Seriously.

I mean, “Marilyn” didn’t even bother to check out my sexiness yesterday, so it’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t have the hots for me. Probably because she thought, correctly, that I don’t have the hots for her. Nerd girls can be weirdly sensible like that.

Well, she did look away immediately, but still.

Staring. At me.

If it has not been made clear already, I am highly uncomfortable with people staring at me. It’s one of the few things that freaks me out rather than annoys me.

Obviously, most things annoy me, and so freaking-out things are pretty rare.

Which is why I hate it whenever it happens to me.

Which makes me feel really, really peeved with whomever is the cause of said freak-out.

I hope you’re not nearly as confused as I am.

Yeah, that was my day. I did pick up some raw steak on the way home, because, as a vampire, I sometimes crave a bit of roughage to my diet. Animal muscles are the best I can get, though, because they’ve got enough blood-like stuff in them to eventually break down and get absorbed into my system.

No, I’m not a nerd, and never was, not even in my short and pathetic life. That crap is straight from the little pamphlets the BVAA handed out a lot back in the 1980’s, when awareness was hip.

…God, do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you?

I didn’t want you to answer!

Ugh…back on to explaining things to you, the BVAA is the British Vampires in America Association.

Yes, we have an association. Backed by the government, no less.

No, not the United States government. They’re idiots. By vampire government.

Which I am not telling you about. You don’t need to know the particulars of vampire political structures. Besides, they’re…complicated. That’s what happens when you have politicians that have been around for a thousand plus years.

Shut up and go to bed already! I’m royally annoyed, and you’re not helping matters!

A/N: Yeah, I noticed when I was writing the title that Yorick says the word annoyed a lot in this chapter. Probably because everything's all unsettling and weird. But then, Yorick is always annoyed, he's just more so than usual.