C H A P T E R 3

Our road trip wasn’t an excuse. It wasn’t an escape. In fact, it was meant to be nothing more than Jonah and I strengthening our weakening friendship. I didn’t know why it was so important, but I needed to understand him.

I needed to understand his motives, the way his mind worked. The only way either of us could accomplish that was severing all ties from our families for two, long, grueling months.

And maybe it had started out as an experiment. But as three weeks passed, it became a reality. There was no amount of distance in the world that could make our shitty home lives disappear. No matter how far we drove or how much we distracted ourselves, we still always came to the same conclusion: our problems would always follow us.

I wished they could disappear. Jonah’s home life was reaching the breaking point, the final straw. I heard it from him all the time. And when he thought I was asleep, I was still awake. My heart nearly broke when I realized he was crying himself to sleep. (It was very unsettling how often it happened.)

Victoria Everett, his forty-four year-old mother, was a very high-maintenance woman who had daily changing wants. She had married her ex-husbands best friend, Jasper Grey, a few years back—two years after the birth of Sydney.

Sydney was one of the few things that saved Jonah from himself. She wasn’t judging. She was just nice and carefree Sydney, the sister he had always wanted.

But no matter how he looked at it, he was still forced, every day, to remember that Richard didn’t father Sydney.

Jasper had. Jasper the jobless loser.

Victoria spoke about him like he was ancient artifact that was worth millions. In her eyes, he was perfection—the one thing Jonah never ever agreed with. It was backstabbing. Best friends didn’t steal their best friends love or even widow for that matter; it was crummy and low. And I hated watching the disappointed look on my best friends place when he watched his mother and Jasper lock lips or exchange endearments.

Jonah never did anything that his mother was proud of. Every thing he had accomplished meant nothing to her. I wondered where he had gotten so much strength to stand up to her,

As Jonah pulled onto the off ramp, all I could hear was the perfect ticking of the turn signal. It was a reminder that unscheduled stops rarely ended well.

- - -

Six Flags was a barren wasteland—in every sense of the word. Not only was it deserted from the miserable weather, but also it felt smaller. At fifteen, Six Flags was like the mammoth amusement park. Everything had seemed so large then, but in six years everything was significantly smaller.

I hated thrill rides with every fiber of my being. It was partially due to my fear of heights, but it was also due to the fact that I had a very weak stomach. Going through loops at un-humanly speeds made my stomach drop to the floor. If I was looking for a good time, I knew I wouldn’t find one with any roller coasters.

“Jon?” I stopped suddenly, staring at the one ride I couldn’t rip my eyes from. It towered in height, the car sloshing over tiny lapping waves. A few teenagers sat in the back, soaked, and laughed hysterically. They were deliriously happy.

I knew right then that – that was the ride I wanted to go on. Nothing else would measure up to it.

Jonah’s eyes were on the prize. He was staring straight for the largest, craziest roller coaster Six Flags had to offer, but nonetheless, he froze in place. His head was hung low as if the ground was suddenly much more interesting—like he knew what was coming but refused to acknowledge it.

“What?” was his impatient reply. I chanced a look at the imagery timer. Damn. I had started the clock. Once again, I had started a ticking time bomb. I knew a strategy was my only means of escaping completely unscathed.

I pointed wildly, not bothering to hide my excitement. He would warm up. I knew I could defrost Jonah’s frozen heart if he gave me the proper chance.

“What about this ride?”

Jonah pursed his lips together. “Tornado?” He shook his head. “Ad, are you mental?”

“What’s wrong with the Tornado?” I gave him a pointed look.

“It’s a water ride, nimrod. And it’s only fifty-two degrees. And the sky is full of dark, dreary clouds. Why the hell would I want to get wet?” He whined, sounding like a small child that wasn’t getting his way.

“It was just a suggestion, Jon. You don’t need to pitch a fit or insult me.” I crossed my arms over my chest; I wasn’t going to play nice with Jonah because I could. No, I was going to be mean and stand up for myself. “Learn to control your anger.”

His eyes sparkled in dangerous shades of anger. “I don’t have to do anything you say, Miller. I’m tired of looking like the bandit with a long criminal record, and I’m tired of you playing the sadistic cop with a shiny badge.”

I sighed.

“I’m sorry.” My apology was only half-hearted, but it was all I had to offer. “You knew this trip would be hard on us, but if you don’t try, we can’t fix you.”

His eyebrows twitched. “Fix me? Fucking fix me like I’m broken? I thought this was about breaking me of my bad habits, Addie, and about breaking me of everything my mother force fed me.”

“It is,” I tried to reason. Unfortunately, reason was something he rarely detected or acknowledged.

“It surely doesn’t sound like it.”

I spit out a hasty apology. “You know, Jonah, you can stop playing the martyr at any time.”

“I’m not the martyr,” he remarked coolly, so nonchalantly that I had to stare at him for as long as I possibly could without blinking. “I am not playing a victim here. Hell, I’m not playing anything, Ad. Get that straight.”

And without another word, we parted. I went left. And he went right.

It would take many hours of cooling down. Maybe one of us had the patience to make it through that period.

- - -

I was sitting on a park bench, eating a slice of extra cheese pizza and sipping on a diet soda; I had five bucks, total. Jonah was the one that carried the cash, and I cursed his stupid, short temper to hell.

All day, I hadn’t eaten. And I knew that a little slice of pizza wasn’t going to tide me over long. I wanted real dinner at a quaint dinner outside of the park.

But could I let go of my pride? Couldn’t I spit out a sincere apology, grovel at his feet, and ask for a do-over?

I sighed. Jonah rarely ever forgot. And just as rarely, he never forgave. There wasn’t enough time in the world to properly cool him down, but I knew I had to try. I was like fire and he was like gasoline. We had to learn to work together instead of against one another.

“Addie.”

I took a slow sip of my soda; I chanced a look upwards. Every inch of my body trembled. He was very intimidating during his calm stage.

“Jon.”

Shoulders slumped, he grunted, and dropped onto the bench beside me. His hair was glistening under the partly sunny sky. For two hours it had been steadily drizzling, making his dingy hair look shiny and vibrant.

“I don’t know how this is going to work,” he whispered quietly. “We keep baiting each other. I’m sick of it.”

I wanted to shout as loud as I could that I was sick of his mood swings, but I couldn’t; I didn’t have that right. As Jonah’s best friend, I was obligated to leave certain things unspoken of. It was a best friend code I couldn’t violate. We were hanging together by a thread, and I wasn’t ready to sever that tie.

“This was supposed to be fun. This was supposed to give you a chance to relax.”

“You make it sound like we were escaping.”

His dry laugh chilled me. “I don’t know Jon. This wasn’t about escaping. This was about finding out who you are. But I’m beginning to think you already know who you are.”

“I know who I am,” he cut in sarcastically. “This wasn’t a trip for self-discovery. This was a trip for peace of mind. And it disappointments me that you think this trip was supposed to miraculously fix everything. I know I have issues, but this isn’t just about me.”

Was it just me or was he contradicting himself?

“I think this trip is a lot of things you’re too embarrassed to admit. That’s exactly what I think.”

And then he laughed. “Damn, you have one hell of a fiery temper, there.”

I shrugged. “Well, I do learn from the best.”

“Exactly.”

I leaned against his shoulder. “Jon?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever wonder if you’re normal?”

“I don’t wonder. I’m not normal. I don’t need a psychiatrist to identify it.”

“Okay,” I broke off awkwardly, pulling my cell phone out of my purse. For two and a half weeks, I turned it off. But something about this morning made me turn it on. Something told me that it had to happen.

“Addie speaking.”

“Oh Addison honey,” Victoria cooed. “Is Jonah with you?”

I looked up at my best friend unsurely. When I mouthed Victoria, he just nodded his head slowly. I tried not to grin on the inside. Maybe he was ready, in some way, to acknowledge and maybe face his demons.

“Yes.”

She exhaled shakily. “Can you tell him that Sydney’s in the hospital?”

I froze, nearly dropping the phone from between my fingers. “Sydney?” I repeated, hoping that I had misunderstood.”

“She got hit by a car the other day.”

“Oh God.” I rubbed a hand over my tired face. Why did she sound so unemotional? “Is she okay?”

“She’s very critical, actually. I thought Jonah should know.”

“We’ll be home right away,” I rushed, shooting Jonah an anxious look. “Maybe in three days or less.”

“Great.”

And without another word, the line was disconnected. A bad feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as I studied my best friend’s expression.

“Your sister is in the hospital,” I blurted, staring at the ground. “It’s not looking too good, Jon.”

He blinked. “Your not shitting me, are you?”

I felt like I had just been stabbed in the chest. “No,” I murmured weakly. “I’m…”

“Don’t finish that,” he snapped, jumping to his feet. “I’ve got to get home. Fuck Victoria and Jasper. I don’t give a damn about them.”

“I know,” I agreed. “Breathe. I’ll drive us home. It’ll be okay.”

“No one but me drives that car, Addie. You know that damn well.”

I sighed.

“I’m beginning to think that life has a hit out on me or something. Maybe I should stop fighting. When I fight, everyone else gets hurts.”

And without another word, he was on his feet—walking whatever way his legs took him. This time I got up, jogging to catch up to him. I might’ve lost the battle with Jonah, but there was still the war. And I wasn’t about to let him go—not if I could help it.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’ve had nearly two weeks to think things out. I scratched a happy-go-lucky amusement park scene because I felt it wouldn’t work. Not at all. But a good chunk of this chapter is about Jonah’s home issues and just issues in general. I promise (really) that the next update won’t take so long. It took a filler chapter, of sorts, to get me back in the groove of this story.

I know this one is a little rough around the edges, but work has picked up drastically for me, and I've converted to full time for the rest of spring and even for the summer. This means it's going to be a really hard adjustment for me. I have plans to update this weekly or bi-weekly, but I don't know how that will pan out. I'll be putting in 50 plus hours next week, and between all the things I need to get done outside of work, I'm finding it hard to have any time to myself. I promise I will keep updating, though. I just may need a little encouragement and motivation to keep me chugging along.

Faded Soulfire