I spent my whole childhood not believing in love

I spent my whole childhood not believing in love. With my mom being single, dating every other girl she could get her hands on, only for them to leave her a week later, I grew up believing that it was all a worthless emotion I didn’t deserve or need to give or have returned to me. At least, until I met him.

It was my second year at college, and I was the star football player. Sure, everyone adored me, and girls wanted to date me, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted someone to see me for me, and not just be with me so they could be popular in return. I was just tired to this fake world I was living in.

Then when he came into my life, everything changed. He taught me how to love again, how to treat someone like they are the best thing in your life, and it is truly, the best feeling in the world.

I am so glad he came along, my little Ryan, because soon before, I was just about ready to give up. You may think, “Hey! You are the quarter back of the football team, girls love you, what exactly would you have to be depressed about?”

A lot actually, my birth mother had just died, killed in a car crash, and my other mother was a wreck. Refusing to feed me, staying locked in her room, I had to fend for both her and myself, sometimes taking days off of school so she wouldn’t kill herself from the misery that seemed to surround her.

My grades were already bad enough, and the skipping wasn’t helping. I begged my teachers to understand, but all they would say was to take my mother to the hospital.

She hated hospitals, “Nasty, filthy things they are. People always coming in and out like you are the main attraction. You never can trust the doctors too, they could cut out your heart, proclaim it an accident, and give you an expensive bill without a backwards glance.” She would always say to me whenever I suggested to see the doctor for a bad head cold or stomach virus.

But then, Ryan comes and moves in with me. Oh yeah, my mother loves him, saying just how wonderful he is. “Smart boy, you could learn a lot from him.”

Yes, I am glad he came into my life. I might have killed myself and left my mother to do the same if he hadn’t.