Not The Battle of Delykin

There was a tumult outside, people rushing about within the city walls of Delykin, armour and weapons clanking, shouting of commands, and gathering of small groups of guards and warriors.

Sid looked out of his window. The enemy would be reaching the city soon, and the battle would commence.

However! There was still some time for him to read his new book, before he went off to battle.

He opened the dark red cover, to page one, and started reading.

Once upon a time, there was a forest. And in this forest, there lived trees. But these were not any normal trees? No, these were magic trees, for they could get up and walk around. Many a forester had fallen victim of their shifting tricks, since they would make paths run other ways, and other times they would lift a root, causing people to trip, and then smirk to themselves. And the birds and other wildlife that watched would grin, and then go about their merry way, thinking again of how silly humans could be.

There was on this day a forester, not much different than other foresters, whose name was Hoiraslloarilliex. Let us call him Hoi, for sake of faster writing, and pronunciation reasons. Now Hoi was taller than most people his age, since tallness ran in his family. Indeed, his great-great-great-great-great grandfather had been, in fact, a giant, back in the days where giants still existed, alongside the dragons, who had been archenemies of the giants, and they had finally fought each other over something silly - a game of Squash the Hillside, I believe - killing each other off the face of the planet into the world of extinctness.

But that is another story and has nothing whatsoever to do with Hoi and the trees that were alive.

So, on this dark sunny day that Hoi entered the forest for the first time, not knowing what to expect, he was an easy victim for the playful trees.

Or so they thought.

For Hoi was no ordinary man, he had giant's blood running through his veins.. or, a couple of millilitres anyway, currently rushing from his heart down to his left thumb, to be exact.

A tree lifted its roots to grab his ankles, but his giant senses saw it coming long before it happened, and so he grabbed an overhanging branch, swinging himself up out of harm's way.

A nearby deer who had come to watch the show giggled in glee.

In fury, the tree shook its branch and Hoi went floating to the ground. Yes floating, for his great-great-great grandmother had been a feather, and he had inherited her light weight. But just as he had nearly reached the ground, a gust of wind (whose name was, how appropriate, Augustus) came and blew him off where he landed splat into the trunk of another tree.

Said tree had been sleeping and was not happy with this rude awakening, and tried to throw him off, but Hoi closed his eyes tight and concentrated very hard, and started to diffuse through the tree, since his great-great-great-great-great-grandsister had been a molecule, and he had inherited this feature from her.

It was a very peculiar feeling for the tree, who then felt very queasy, but luckily did not have to throw up. I don't know if you have ever seen a tree throw up, but it is not a pretty sight.

Hoi floated down to the ground on the other side of the tree and proceeded to run, very fast, through the forest, as fast as his long legs could carry him.

The trees saw him coming and started to move around, changing the paths, trying to get him lost. But that was not possible, because Hoi had an inbuilt navigation system that he inherited from his great-grandbrother, who had been a car, back in the days when humans had owned cars, before the cars came alive and drove off the earth into a black empty void.

So he turned right and left, up and down and diagonally, listening carefully to the fake woman's voice telling him where to go next.

"You have reached your destination", she then said. Finally he had reached the edge of the forest. The giggling deer, who had been leaping behind him, clapped, then disappeared into the trees. Said trees were groaning, having lost the match for the first time in five centuries.

And so Hoi the Forester went off on his travels, to buy a carton of milk from the local corner shop.

And he lived happily ever after, the End.

Sid put the book down, smiling. What a pleasing story. And now, he saw, the enemy had reached the gates, and the fighting was soon to begin. He picked up his silver sword and sheathed it, looking at his reflection in his mirror, wondering if he would return to this room, and his new story, again.

He exited his building and joined up with his warrior friends, waiting in suspense and fear for the gates to open.

Eventually they did, and, with a cry of battle, they all rushed out, their weapons brandished, whether into victory or loss, I cannot say, for this story is not about the Battle of Delykin.