Gregor VS Jelor

Strange things have been happening since the night of that explosion. Gregor had no idea what caused the explosion, but he knew the result wasn't good. Gregor was a hunter. Not a normal hunter, by any means. He hunted small game sometimes. To tune his skills he would go after Kodiaks , elephants, tigers. You know, the small stuff. It had been a long time since a demon had escaped. A few hundred years, at least. But suddenly, something had gone wrong. Someone opened the gates of hell, and now they aren't closing. Usually a few creatures get out. Just little devils, and odd creatures. But this time there's been enough time for some bigger things to get out. And not just demons, either. Constructs. Things created by more intelligent demons. Demons with magic. Demons that created Gregor's current target.

Gregor knew this one didn't come from Hell. Someone created it on earth. Gregor had been to hell on several occasions, and he knew what was there. He knew what the constructs could be made of, and there is one thing constructs could never be made of. Jell-O. He didn't know why, but Satan hated the stuff. He wouldn't allow it anywhere in Hell. Not a drop. And that's what this beast was. Some demon wizard created a monster out of pure, strawberry Jell-O. Gregor had one encounter with it, and it smashed him right in the face, leaving a chunk of it's extremity in his mouth. It tasted unmistakably like name brand, strawberry Jell-O.

It really didn't matter what the beast was made out of, all that mattered was that it needed to be killed. Gregor had just gotten off of the train at the subway station in one of the seedier parts of Los Angeles. This is the last place the Jell-o beast was seen, so Gregor began following the path of destruction left by the creature.

Gregor was wearing his long, black leather trench coat, and black slacks. His face was cleanly shaven,and his curly brown hair reached just past his chin. He was armed to the teeth with the greatest weapons alchemy, black magic, and God had to offer. Gregor reached into his coat pocket, and grabbed his compass. This compass was a gift from God, literally. Gregor had been a demon hunter for a about seven hundred years, and five hundred years into it Gregor had a direct encounter with the omnipotent one himself. As a reward for his good work, he was rewarded with a compass, a map, and a ship. The navigator's dream. Gregor was in no way shape or form a navigator, but it's generally not a good idea to refuse to accept a gift from God. Gregor had three former partners, and that's how their heads ended up exploding. The purpose of the compass was simple, place a piece of what you're looking for in the removable base of the compass and it points you in the direction. Despite this handy little feature, the thing refused to point north, making it totally useless if your lost in a forest, and you want to find something other than dirt and trees. As for the other two gifts, the map shows where your next "need" in life is, but all he ever saw was a map of the Arctic circle. Gregor never saw his ship, but he was sure it would be just as useless as the map.

Gregor reached into his other coat pocket, and removed a small cup of strawberry Jell-o. He held it by the edge with his teeth, and unscrewed the bottom of his compass with his hands. This action got him some very strange, curious looks from observers, but he payed no attention. After he twisted off the bottom of the compass, he ripped the top of the Jell-o cup off, and flipped it over, in an attempt to pour it into the compass. At this point in time, Gregor realized that the Jell-o company had discovered how to use anti-gravity demon magic in tiny cups, so he jammed his finger in the Jell-o, and slopped some into the base of the compass. He tossed the cup, and remainder of the Jell-o onto the floor, and told the people who were still staring at him to politely,"Fuck off, it's part of my job."

Gregor stared at the compass for a few moments, and waited. The compass pointed forward from where Gregor was standing, and then began to spin wildly in circles for a while. This was rather confusing, and Gregor new exactly what to do. He looked up. He found that when he was in a tight or confusing predicament looking up was a great way to deal with the problem. When Gregor looked up, he saw a gigantic glob of strawberry Jell-o falling towards him. Fuck. Why did this always happen to him?

The mass of Jell-o appeared larger and larger as it fell to the ground Gregor was occupying. He always complained when he saw movies where the monster, or killer, or train edged closer to the protagonist and they did nothing but stare, and possibly scream. As he thought about this, he did nothing but stand there, and possibly scream. Then, there was impact. Sticky, goopy, delicious impact. Gregor collapsed under the weight of the Jell-o, and groaned. This would obviously be a new and interesting experience for most people, but seeing as this is the second time this had happened in the past two days, he was getting very used to it. So used to in in fact, he knew exactly what his next move should be. He ran straight out of that subway station, without looking back.

Gregor glanced behind him as he ran, and nearly soiled himself. The beast had grown to be about ten times larger, and ten times more misshapen and amorphous than it was the day before. Luckily, Gregor had prepared for another close encounter with the beast. He had two things to do, one traditional, and one improvised. He pulled his all purpose, quite magical gun out of his pocket, and loaded it with a single shot he got from his dealer for this specific situation. This single shot was similar in effect to a hand grenade, but instead of shrapnel, it exploded with tiny bits of salt. Gregor figured that salt would work quite efficiently, seeing as it would absorb a good amount of the water that composed the Jell-o beast, and be done with it rather quickly.

Gregor ran for a few minutes, until he reached the doorway of a Starbuck's coffee shop, and he slid to a stop. He turned around, pointed his gun into the distance and waited. The Jell-o monster rolled over the buildings in the distance, breaking windows, crushing houses, and drowning innocents in sweet, sweet, strawberry death. Gregor took aim, and fired. This was the traditional bit. Now for the improvisation. Gregor stood there, and stared. He had never blown up a huge amount of Jell-o with a magic salt bullet before, and was hoping the result wouldn't be too devastating.

The tiny white bullet flew towards the monster at an astounding speed. After a quick one and a half seconds, it made contact, was quickly absorbed, the beast let out a loud bellow of pain, and nothing happened. Gregor stood there, as civilians screamed, and police officers stared in awe. Nothing. The Jell-o beast continued to roll, and nothing seemed to happen. Ten seconds passed. Nothing. Thirty seconds. Nothing. Five minutes. Nohting. Ten minutes, and the beast was only a hundred yards from the Starbuck's doorway. Gregor looked at his gun, disappointed, and suddenly heard a loud explosion. He glanced up, and saw the Jell-o monster turn from Jell-o, to bright red powder. The powder held it's strange shape in the air for a few moments, and then began to fall. The entire section of Las Angeles got completely carpeted in red, sweet, and sticky powder.

"For the love of Christ," Gregor said, completely covered in Jell-o mix," Why did I ever take this job?"

Gregor began to walk to the nearest hotel, contemplating why he did take this job. Then he remembered, being a thirteenth century tax collector was a shitty job. He came to a bench outside of a hotel, sat down, and thought for a few minutes about what was to come in the near future. If some demon with the power to create that thing had gotten out, then this planet was in for hell.

"Fuck," Gregor said, wiping Jell-o mix off of his face," I hate when this happens."

The

End