There was a flurry of whispers when I gained consciousness

There was a flurry of whispers when I gained consciousness. I felt something warm pressed against my back and wrapped around me. I groaned, pressing a hand against my head. Fuck, did my head hurt.

“Think we should get the camera?” Jeri’s voice murmured giddily and I heard Paul snort. Loud footsteps pounded away and returned, leading to clicky noises and bright lights that hurt against my closed eyelids.

“When they wake up…man. This is going to be fun-ee!” Nick snickered and I opened my eyes. Why the fuck do they have a camera? I noticed the male, very male, body holding mine and I screamed.

“AHH!” I shrieked and pushed Seth away from me desperately. His body had been entangled with my body intimately. One of his hands was like thisclose to cover my boob and his leg was wedged between mine. Ew! He was spooning me! God, I probably have like, rabies now.

Seth awoke immediately, eyes wide with panic. “Wha? What happened?”

I pointed at him, which was very difficult considering the small space we were in. “Why the fuck were you on me? Who said you could fucking feel me up while I was sleeping?”

Seth’s face blanked. “What?”

“You. Me. Sleeping together.” I spat out, glaring. Climbing over him, I staggered down the ladder. He followed me with his gaze, eyebrows furrowing in sleepy confusion. Then realization struck him.

“Oh. OH.” Seth said, getting up immediately and scratching his head. “You were sick and asked me to stay. You wouldn’t let me go, so don’t try making this like I was trying to rape you or something. What the fuck? Why do you have a camera, Nick? Were you taking pictures? You bastard, give that to me!” He jumped off the bed, snatching the camera away from a very surprised Nick. Seth sat on Jeri’s bed, playing with the camera. Uneasily, I sat next to him, leaning to catch a look.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God.” I said slowly, staring at the multiple pictures of Seth and I practically sprawled on top of each other on my bed. He clicked through them and there was one where his hand was actually on my boob and his face nestled in my hair. Oh my fucking god.

“SETH!” I yelped, smacking him in repeated blows. He covered his head and muttered explicit things about me. “God, you were like, all fucking over me!”

He grabbed my hands, jerking me towards him and my hair came unbounded, falling in my face. Seth’s eyes turned a winter blue, freezing in its color. “You were the one that asked me to stay with you, so stop being a total bitch about it. You’re lucky I actually let you touch me, you little slut.”

I gasped, mouth dropping open. “I fucking hate you. Get away from me.” I hissed, yanking myself away from him and stomping off to the kitchen. I heard him let out a sigh.

God, he’s such a dick. I can’t believe I ever liked him in the first place. I mean…like, seriously, did you see the way he acted like? Fucking dick. One day, I swear, I’m going to fucking stab him in the fucking crotch and laugh my ass off while he dies.

Jeri greeted me with a grin at the dining booth. “How was your night?”

I glared at her. “Fuck you.”

Her black eyes glittered with glee. “Hah.”

“I didn’t fuck him, you know.” I said tightly to her, and she coughed, disbelief visible.

“Well.” Jeri started and then smirked. “Better get dressed, unless you want to stay in plaid pj’s forever.”

I looked down, barely glancing at the long pajamas I’d thrown on. Hey, I didn’t like wearing slutty clothes all the time. I froze in those. Sighing longingly one last time at my current outfit, I pulled on sweatpants and a hoodie for coverage until my assistant sent me more of my wardrobe. Like, lucky me.

When I had grabbed some coffee and chugged it, I noticed Seth watching me predatorily from the diner seat. Asshole, what’s he looking at? I raised my middle finger and saluted him with it, passing by him with aloof animosity.

Walking lazily down the narrow passage way in the tour bus, I knocked into Paul. He caught me from tipping sideways and sent me a fleeting smile before continuing his way. Paul has like, 3 adopted children at home from his life partner, Winnie. I know, right? Winnie, what the fuck type of name is that? Was his mom a horse freak or something? Sadly, Winnie didn’t look anything like a horse, so I couldn’t mock him for it. Anyways, I was like, talking about Paul’s history. So, Paul’s the silent ‘I’m too cool to talk to you’ sort. Sometimes it annoyed me because I don’t like having one sided conversations. But fuck me, Paul was gorgeous. Like, in fact, I hit on him within the first five minutes of meeting him, but then Seth told me, like, after that he was as gay as gay could get. While laughing his ass off.

I looked at Paul’s retreating figure, sighing longingly. Why must the best guys be gay? He’s hot and he has a personality. Plus he’s nice. Unlike some people I know.

I turned to look at Seth, and glared at him when I caught him staring at me again. Stalker, I swear. One day, I’m going to catch the little fucker looking through my panties or something and selling them on eBay. God knows that they’d go for a couple thousand.

I felt something brush past me, and jumped only to see Seth opening the trailer door and slamming it behind him. Whatever.

I followed him shortly, choosing to not give a shit about what people thought of me in this outfit, probably giving my publicist a heart attack. Oh, fuck her. She’s annoying anyways.

I chased the barely noticeable road, until I was ambushed. Damnit, how did Seth manage to escape them? Asshole.

“OH MY GOD! HARPER!” Screams encased me, and arms started reaching for me, grabbing me. I squealed, twisting away from the assaults, but I apparently wasn’t a match for the multiple amounts of fans surrounding the so-called secret path. Fuck. I’m screwed.

“Can I take a picture of you? Oh my god, I’m like your number one fan! I love your songs soooo much!” One especially loud girl yelled right in my ear, and quickly snapped a picture of me with her cellphone. Fucking whore. My publicist is going to kill me for being photographed like this.

I pasted a fake grin on my face, and tried to escape, but hands held me back. Double fuck. “Thanks guys! I always appreciate my fans.” I tried, grinning like a desperate moron. They crowded around me, subtly pushing me so I was against the trailer wall, back from where I was from. Are you fucking KIDDING ME? I need to get to Sara, my assistant before 1:30. I managed a look at my ginormous watch. It read 1:23. Shitttt.

I didn’t even bother to look at their faces, they just blurred in my head as I frantically thought out an escape. Shit. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Since we’d gotten popular, the fans seem to get more vicious. Scary thing for a 19 year old girl who only sang and modeled for a living.

“God, you’re even prettier up close! Do you want my number?” One guy asked, shoving a paper in my face, and I took out a sharpie and autographed it. Then I got an idea.

I stood up straight, and pushed the hands and arms that were touching me. “HEY!”

They all quieted, awed by me talking. “If you’d like my autograph, could you please settle into a single neat line for me? I’ll gladly sign them, but I can’t if you’re not organized.” I said, beaming. Smiles were practically coming out of my fucking ears by now.

They thankfully complied, trudging into a vaguely straight line. Then finally, one by one, I signed every fucking piece of paper, cd, poster, body part that I could. When I realized that I had only two minutes, I dashed off, smile dropping as I ran towards the theatre we were playing at. I know, I’m wondering too where the fuck was my bodyguard. I stormed into the dark building, pissed. Behind the racks of clothing stood my bodyguard Rick and Sara, entangled in a kiss that I didn’t ever want to see.

“SARA!” I shrieked, ripping off my clothes. “Now, now, NOW!”

She immediately jumped from Rick and blushed, subtly wiping her mouth. Sara gave me a sheepish look that I simply narrowed my eyes out, before unhooking another shiny top and skinny pants. Lucky me.

Rick stood by awkwardly, and I had a half a mind to fire him. I mean, Hellooo, where was he when I was being mauled by starving fans? Shoving his tongue down Sara’s throat. I tugged the shirt on, noticing that a bra wouldn’t be necessary, as Sara informed me.

“There’s no fucking way I’m not wearing a bra, Sara.” I spat out, glaring at her fiercely. I was still pissed.

She backed up, scared of my ferocity but before she could stutter out the ‘you-have-to-your-costumer-provided-this-for-you tidbit’, I gave in, undoing my bra and dropping it onto the pile of clothes I was previously wearing. I looked down, staring at my rack which was obviously reacting to the cold and seemed more huge than usual.

“Fuck.” I sighed, adjusting the top. Sara meekly came over and dabbed my face with makeup, the shit that clogs your pores but makes you look flawless. Eyeliner was applied more heavily than usual, along with mascara. The make up process seemed to take much longer than usual.

“Why is this taking so fucking long?” I bit out between gritted teeth. She winced, looking up at me from bronzing my arms. Yes, I’m telling you. When you’re as famous as me and seen as the sex goddess of the show, every fucking part of you (no pun intended) that’s exposed has to be flawless. For the fans.

“I’m sorry, Harper.” Sara said quietly, and I considered her, feeling kind of bad for being a bitch.

“Whatever.” I replied and she finished up quickly, reapplying some lipgloss on my already soaked lips and telling me to smack my lips. I did so, grimacing at the horrible taste. She lined up a pair of atrociously high heels, and I stepped into them, using her for support. I’m telling you now. Those shoes I’m in right now? Fucking. Torture.

I miss the old days where all I had to do was throw on random clothing and rock out, and the crowd loved me. Now I had to sell my body in order for the crowd to come and scream my name. It was sad, but whatever. Nothing you can do.

Fuck, I sound old and I’m only 19.

Fuck that. I strutted down the dark area, careful to avoid the evil wires that were strewn across the place like snakes.

“Boo!” I heard in my ear and I automatically hit the person, smiling when a familiar grunt was released. Ha, take that fucker.

“What the fuck, Harper?” Rastaz grumbled, rubbing his stomach. “You almost hit the goods.”

I looked at him, hooding my eyes. “Goods? Rastaz, dearest, I’m sorry that you’ve deluded yourself that you have any type of male equipment.”

He sucked in a breath playfully. “Ohhh, girl. You so feisty. I like ‘em like that.”

Ah, Rastaz. One day, a girl is going to kick him in the balls, and I’ll be right there behind her to laugh at him.

“Do you also like them while unconscious?” I continued, raising an eyebrow coolly. “Because if you keep that up, that’s what you’ll be.”

He bit on his fist, chuckling into his hand. Then Rastaz wrapped an arm around my waist, practically hauling me to the stage entrance.

“You ready, sugah?” He cooed in my ear, while letting go of me to hang the guitar strap over his head. Despite Rastaz being the eldest of us all, he seemed to own the most immature personality. Plus, him being a Latino god, he tended to add his own little twists to sentences. Natural flirt. Sometimes I catch him dancing to salsa music when he thinks we’re all out for dinner, haha.

And no, Rastaz and I would never ever fuck because he has this gorgeous kind of girlfriend at home that he lusts after. It’s touching, until he gets into the rant about how pretty she is. Like I don’t know how pretty she is, Kelly went to my school, and was known as the prettiest one there until I, ahem, kicked her off her throne like the conniving bitch I am. Gotta love teen democracy.

We gravitated toward the other band members, and we huddled together, I being between Rastaz and Paul, and Jeri plus Nick between Seth. Even though I was obviously the top reasons this band was a success, Seth still was known as our band leader. Don’t ask me why, I’m still, like, wondering myself.

“Okay, guys.” Seth started, and he and I connected gazes. He seemed to stumble over his thoughts for a second before regaining them. “This is our second to last show, so let’s not screw it up or anything. Jeri, remember to keep the harmony in Hurricane and Naïve. Nick, let’s do the drum solo in the middle of Believe in me, to which leads to Paul,” He faced Paul and gave him a thumbs up. “And you’ll do your solo.”

He didn’t say anything to Rastaz or me, only gave us a quick smile. “Alright, ready?”

We did the whole football thing, with the hands in the middle and shouting something, “Goooo…Literalfigural!” Yeah, lame.

Rastaz, with his guitar, went out first, the lights off on the huge stage, so all they could see was his faint shadow. I rocked in my heels, going forward and backwards, waving at all the band members while they entered the stage dramatically. They took their places, and Paul started up the bass for Hurricane and Naïve.

When my time came, I went into the dark, struggling to find my spot. When the lights flashed on, I clicked on my charismatic personality, finding that spot in me that leeched a high from performing. I opened my well glossed lips to sing.

Instantaneous and spontaneous,

Like a hurricane crashing through a conventional town.

My, my how things change when it’s needed.

But no one can tell who was most hurt,

The nomad or the remains.

It’s gonna wound, it’s gonna bleed,

It’s gonna leave you wishing for more.

Hopefully it’s recoverable, and hopefully

You’ll never need it.

Who’s the girl crying on that shoulder?

Where’s the counterpart to stay with till they grow older?

Love, love, oh how it tears until we suppress.

No one knows how much it hurts,

Inside and deeply.

It’s gonna wound, it’s gonna bleed,

It’s gonna leave you wishing for more.

Hopefully it’s recoverable, and hopefully

You’ll never need it.

She’s the girl, who feels the fool,

And he’s the boy, so confused.

It’s indecipherable what’ll happen,

With the hurricane and the naïve. X2

It’s gonna wound, it’s gonna bleed,

It’s gonna leave you wishing for more.

Hopefully it’s recoverable, and hopefully

You’ll never need it.

Oh, whoa, who says they didn’t belong together?

And who says that they never did?

Oh, you’ll never know. X2

When the song ended, I woke up from my self induced happy place, where I put myself when I was singing in front crowds, to hear the incredible thunder of applause. We all looked at each other, grinning.

I stepped up, barely capable of seeing the humongous crowd. “Hey guys!” A loud scream was produced in response. I started to introduce the band, which was pretty unnecessary since they all knew our names anyways, but it was still nice for old times.

“This…” I pointed to Rastaz. He put on a sexy come-and-give-it-to-me look that only Latinos can manage. “is Rastaz.”

The crowd wailed its love. Rastaz smirked at me, quickly pulling a few riffs from one of our old songs. Crowd slut. I glared at him furtively, before grinning.

“This is Jeri!” I called, and gestured to her. She waved and blew a kiss. The crowd screamed its approval. Hmm…Jeri actually looked good today. Her black eyes were layered with white eyeliner and thick mascara and her rockerchick outfit fit our band. Those looked like my ripped jeans though.

I pointed to Paul and Nick. “Say hi to Paul and Nick!” They screamed loudly, girls over populating the guys at the moment. They both wore their usually scruffy outfit, t shirts with baggy jeans. Like, are they sharing the same stylist? That’s weird. Paul smiled at them, and Nick nodded.

I sighed. “Here’s Seth.” I said, forcing a wide smile. The crowd grew in noise, screams piercing even through my earplugs. Fuck it annoyed me, how much they loved Seth.

Seth gave me a satisfied grin, obviously holding the crowds response over me. I rolled my eyes. Whatever, asshole.

“And I’m Harper!” I screamed, and the crowd gave their loudest welcome yet. Oh yeah, I’m the man.

We hit into our next set with insane energy, pumping up the strutting and flaunting. Seth smoldered at the crowd, while I pranced around the stage, wiggling my hips like a girl in a rap video.

Seth neared me while playing the last song and we got eye contact. It was fine until I realized something about his eyes. Or to be more specific, what was on his eyes.

Seth had eyeliner on.

Now, I’m a major fucking fan of guyliner, and I’ve never seen any guy look as hot as Seth with it on. Seriously, he just...god. So fucking hot. Wait.

He KNOWS that I love him in eyeliner. Every time he’d wear it, when we were dating, I’d pretty much attack him backstage after the show. I hope he isn’t expecting me to like…

I caught another look. Fuck. Biting my lip, I let myself stare at him. Damnit. He’s like an effing god. So gorgeous and…no. It’s Seth. Stop it, right now.

But he’s so gorgeous…

Seth saw me staring at him and drooling. Giving me a weird look, he sauntered over to where I was, getting in my face. My body heated up and I could feel my face morph into my I-want-you look. Yes, I have an I-want-you look.

His beautiful eyelinered eyes gazed right into mine, and I melted. No lie.

“What’s your problem?!” Seth yelled. “Why’d you stop-mphmm!” Interrupting him mid-rant, I slid my fingers into his hair and pulled his mouth down to mine.

His fingers slipped off his guitar in surprise, and a hand cautiously went to my face, cupping a cheek. I let the microphone fall from my distracted hands and roll on the ground. Our mouths crashed together in a hungry response, our bodies pressed together intimately. I ran my fingers through his hair, massaging the back of his head gently while teasing his closed lips with my tongue. He wrapped an arm tightly around my waist, hauling me impossibly close while kissing me with all his worth. I was going to faint, it felt that good. My head died or something, because there was absolutely no thought process going on in there while Seth touched velvet tongue to mine and groaned.

Then suddenly, he jerked himself back, staring at me with shock. “What the hell?!”

I blanked. Shit. We turned and met the many stunned faces onstage and in the crowd. Unfortunately, females in the crowd weren’t looking too happy.

A/N- I’m going to start this new thing where I reply to reviews not here, but the other way which I forget it’s name. Okay, so yeah. Thanks for the reviews! Sorry I haven’t updated in awhile. Alright. Remember to reviewreviewreview!!

-RAR