We, the United
4.8.08

do you want to know why I stare
with blank eyes? unblinking, (yet) unseeing
unfeeling (that’s what you think)
ask me why I stare so—ask me why I cry
yes, I cry. or didn’t you know that part?
I cry beneath my army-cot’s thin blanket
where nobody hears (because) nobody
listens (because) nobody cares
((I’m like the proverbial tree that falls without a sound))

and it’s not because my friends die in the ditches
(though they do)
it’s not because my wife may meet me again
only as I’m laid.to.rest
it’s not because on the cold, cold nights
I remember how I used to watch my little girl
play by the fireplace: eighteen months of smiles and laughter
it’s because beside my best resides a gun

and it’s still smoking
do you know why?
because I’ve had to use it—
had to watch the bodies crumple, lives crumble
superimposing my brother’s face onto each and every body
watch the eyes darken, so dull
once so filled with life—and what went wrong?
(I did.)

I’m here to defend my country
but my country’s overseas
so who am I fighting for? (the Angel of Death, that’s who)
what am I protecting?
the only person I (try to) protect nowadays is me
but that’s only after I’ve been put in harm’s way
so what am I protecting—my innocence?
that’s already gone, stripped
I’ve been raped of my naiveté
all in the name of "United We Stand"