The Significance of Cheese Graters

Chapter 3: Names

“Oh, hey Allie,” he replies indifferently.

‘What?’ says me to my internal self, ‘Why is he acting so nonchalant to his girlfriend?’

I’m brought back to the present as ‘Allie’ flips her sunglasses to atop her head and blinks her eyes furiously and flirtingly at neighbor boy. You’d think the sun was still in her eyes at the rate she was going. I smirk. He frowns. My more respectable self would excuse me politely and walk inside. My more curious self sits put, smirking at the radiating awkward tension and ridiculous antics of this girl.

Neighbor boy introduces us. “Mariah, this is Allie. Allie this is Mariah,” he says gesturing with his hand, but not getting up from off the grass to greet her. I wonder at how he knows my name, but I don’t question it. I smile sarcastically and nod with, “What’s up Allie cat?” I pull it off with my “I have seemingly good intentions, and this is just friendly banter” smile, but I think we all know it’s a facade, or at least neighbor boy and I do. She cocks her head in confusion and replies intelligently with a “Hey…” and a pop of her pink bubblegum. Then she asks in a seemingly demeaning manner, “Mariah…like, as in Mariah Carey?” I HATE when people ask that, and so I reply, “No. Like as in, pariah with an ‘M.’” Neighbor boy snorts. I smile cheekily. She frowns in confusion.

I don’t think she knows what the word pariah means. So, she turns her head to focus on neighbor boy as she asks, “So, Leo, what are you doing tonight? It’s Friday…” she hints. I smirk at her classic and very mature, ‘ignore your competition’ move. Leo glances over at me and notes my amused expression. The terrified look in his eyes turns to mischievousness, and my smirk falters the tiniest bit.

“Well, Allie cat,” his mouth twitches at her new nickname, “I was actually planning on hanging out with Mariah tonight.”

Yeah, her plan of ignoring me goes really well as her head snaps back to glare at my face. And then, he pours the icing on the cake as he grabs my hand and rubs circles on it with his thumb as he turns to me and says, “Right, baby?”

Oh boy. He owes me big time for getting him out of this one. I smile good- naturedly and squeeze his hand in reassurance. “Right,” I reply as I cuddle into him. He kisses my cheek, and Allie cat blows her lid. She yells in a rather mature demeanor, “FINE!” and peels off as we laugh uproariously at her stupidity. “Well isn’t she just the fast and the furious,” I reply cheekily. We glance at each other and roar in laughter.

We fall back onto the grass and are literally writhing on the ground, clutching our aching stomachs. “You…. owe…... me….. BIG………..time…” I choke out as tears leak down my face. He rolls over to look at me and chuckles, “Oh, I know, I really do need to go buy my own cheese grater.” We laugh harder at this and just lay there in the grass, laughing our asses off as if we are best friends. My mom comes home from work to find us there, talking and laughing. She just smiles in that annoying “I told you so!” manner as she greets us and walks in the house.

“So,” he asks, “how did you get the name Mariah?” I look at him with my “Are you serious?” expression. He laughs and says, “Okay, okay… like Mariah Carey I get it. Man your mom must have been obsessed.” I give a half-hearted chuckle and reply, “Yeah, when I was born I’m sure she was screaming how I made her feel like a ‘natural woman.’” He laughs loudly. I smile in victory. I love making him laugh that hard.

I turn the books on him and ask, “So how did you get the name Leo?” That shut him up real fast. He smiles abashedly and winces slightly as he says, “My dad was obsessed with Lynard Skynard.” I laugh uproariously at this. “Your real name is Lynard?!” He defends himself quickly, “No, my mom was furious, but my dad was very insistent, so they compromised with Leonard. So, naturally I go by Leo. I think my dad’s disappointed I don’t go by Nard or something ridiculous like that.” My chuckles falter and die off. “My friend, our parents are crazed lunatics.” He nods in agreement and we smile in understanding at each other. Sometimes it sucks to have to always explain your name.

He turns to me and asks, “So Pariah, what are we doing tonight?” I roll my eyes and nudge him in the ribs as I retort, “I dunno Skynard. You’re the imaginary boyfriend. You come up with something.” He laughs and I continue in sarcasm, “Otherwise, you’re definitely not getting any action tonight.” His cheeks turn the lightest shade of pink at this, and I wonder if it was ever actually there as he replies, “Damn! I’ll come up with something.” I just smile and shake my head in feigned exasperation.

“I wonder what Allie cat’s doing tonight,” I muse out loud with mischievousness. His eyes light up and replies, “She’s probably gonna get pranked by some punks with crazy names.” I nod in enthusiasm and reply sarcastically, “That would be most unfortunate.” We both glance at one another with wide grins and he bounces up off the ground exuberantly. He holds out his hand for me and says, “Come on Pariah. Let’s go scheme.” I nod and he pulls me up, but doesn’t let go of my hand. I don’t pull away either, just retort, “Yes, scheming is good,” and flash him an evil grin as we walk inside his house.

AN: Please read and review. If you have any good prank ideas, please PM me.