George entered the Big Top to find his sister and his father as well as his Aunt Jeanette already there, along with several others, all looking up anxiously towards the roof where some how his younger brother had manage to climb up and was now sitting swinging on the middle trapeze which his father usually used as the catcher.

George joined the others, hardly able to take his eyes of his brother above his head.

“How the hell did he get up there?” he demanded in bewilderment

“He must have climbed the rope somehow,” Maria replied, “we had just finished our training session and we had gone to get something to eat before we started to dismantle the rigging, when we got back Carlos was up there”

“Hey George!” Carlos now hailed his brother from up above, having spotted him

“Look at me, look where I am,” he then laughed gleefully, “Makes a change me up here and you down there huh?”

“We think he has been drinking alcohol, we found an empty beer bottle on the ground beside the rope,and he is just not acting himself” Maria said glancing up again worriedly

On learning this, George swore loudly in alarm, then joined his father, who stood by the rope and was trying to persuade Carlos to grab it and come down again, using his most authorative voice. But at the same time the tense lines on Ricardo face showed the strain of the concern he was going through for his youngest son

“I don’t want to come down yet Dad,” Carlos replied, “I can’t.. don’t you see I have to show you that I am just as good as George and Maria, that I am a Sanchez too,” he said suddenly looking serious.

Ricardo’s heart tightened, “Of course you are a Sanchez, Carly,” he found himself addressing his son by the pet name they had given to him when he was small, trying to appeal to him in a more reasonable tone in the hope he would listen, “Just come down now and we will talk about it from here, grab the rope and we will help you, eh?”

“But I want to make you proud of me Dad, I want you to be proud of me like you are of George, and I don’t want you pitying me anymore!” he exclaimed

His words were just like painful blows driven into Ricardo’s heart.

He knew Melanie had been worried about Carlos feeling left out, and that he had not been giving him enough attention, and as usual he had put it down to her over reacting and worrying too much. But in this instance it seemed she had been right with her concern

He suddenly found it difficult to speak, but he knew he had to persuade Carlos to come down, he licked his dry lips, forcing his tone to sound normal

“Ok Carly you have made your point, and I am proud of you, we all are. Look at you up there, you look a natural. You don’t have to prove anything to me anymore, so why don’t you just come down," he pleaded, then trying to lighten the tension, added, "You realise if your Mom finds out about this, she will kick my butt right across the ring,”

George, who was still standing next to Ricardo could hear the unsteady tremor in his father's voice that told him he was feeling far from lighthearted about the situation

Carlos thought the idea of his quiet gentle mother, who fretted and worried about him all the time, kicking his stern father’s butt hilarious, and laughed. But he remained un persuaded that his father could be proud of him.

“But you have'nt seen any thing yet,” he called down, “Watch this,”

Seeing the way his son was shifting on the trapeze bar, Ricardo felt his heart go into his mouth, realising Carlos was going to attempt to hang from the bar upside down, hooked by the knees

“Carlos no - don’t… you can‘t!” he shouted in alarm, his face twisted in pure anxiety, but Carlos wasn’t listening.

He had seen his family do this plenty of times and imagined it would be easy enough.

But hanging upside down from a swinging trapeze high in the air with his disability was not a good thing, as Carlos found out when he suddenly felt his chest tightening suddenly making him gasp

Ricardo now moved swiftly, shoving the rope into George’s hand telling him to hold it whilst he started to climb up it.

George had never seen his father move so fast as Ricardo hauled himself up on the rope until he reached Carlos, who was now dangling helplessly coughing and gasping for air, George managed to manoeuvred the rope from the bottom so it could get closer to the trapeze and Ricardo could grab his son with one arm and manage to pull him of it.

George realising his father needed help, and climbed up the rope as well. Between the both of them, they manage to get Carlos down he was still gasping and coughing as they got him on the ground. Ricardo knelt on the floor holding his youngest son in his arms,and trying to support his limp body, he barked orders for someone to fetch Carlos. inhalers, whilst two of the circus medics who had stood nearby, rushed over to check on him to see if he was ok.

Melanie only learned of the incident when an hysterical Maria found her demanding she bring Carlos inhalers and nebulizer to the Big Top then explained in a rather garbled manner, something about Carlos up on the trapeze and his father having to get him down quick and how he was having trouble breathing

Trying not to let Maria’s hysteria panic her, so that she couldn’t think or move, Melanie hurriedly went to get the inhalers and nebulizer and hurried along with Maria towards the Buig Top wondering exactly what had happened with an icy cold fear in her heart for her youngest son.

She found him still in his father’s arms in the middle of the ring a small crowd gathered anxiously around him. His chest was still heaving as he gasped for air and Ricardo was trying to instruct him to breath easy

The two medics were glad to see Melanie with the inhalers and she handed them over, so they could treat him, She now got down on her knees beside him, and staring in wide eyed bewilderment at Ricardo

“W-what happened? What is going on?” Maria said something about Carlos being up on the trapeze.. Is that true?”

“Yes,” Ricardo replied grimly, watching as the medics helped Carlos take his inhalers, and with his breathing. thankfully it seem to be working much to his relief as Carlos gasping breath seem to have lessened

“I think he is going to be alright,” one of the medics then said

“Thank God!” Melanie exclaimed, “How did this happen?” she then demanded looking at Ricardo again

“It wasn’t Dad’s fault Mom," Carlos finally managed to speak up weakly, “So promise me you won’t kick his butt across the ring,” he wheezed

Ricardo was not one for getting emotional, but at that moment he looked down at his son and suddenly squeezed him in a tight hug and kissed the top of his dark head, realising he must be getting soft in his old age, as he was not sure if he was going to laugh or cry, and found he just about managed to contain himself from doing either.

They waited another while before deciding if it was safe to move Carlos, there was even a discussion about taking him to the hospital to get him checked out and make sure he was alright. But Carlos insisted he was fine and could breath alright again, he didn’t want anymore fuss and suddenly feeling foolish for causing all this trouble and worry.

Despite his protests, they used a stretcher to carry him back to his parents caravan as he was still weak and exhausted from the ordeal to be able to really walk far.

Now that he knew his son was going to be alright, Ricardo felt anger replacing his anxiety, wanting to know who had given Carlos the alcohol and ready to go on the warpath

“No one gave it to me Dad,” Carlos replied truthfully,

Yes his friends had let him have just the odd sip of beer, but they had never encouraged him. That had been his own doing, he had wanted to experiment, and he had actually stolen the bottles from them, slipping two of them into his jacket pocket when they hadn’t noticed, then he had found a third bottle in George’s caravan and taken that as well.

Carlos was looking extremely shamed faced as he admitted his behaviour, imagining his father would be very disappointed in him. Which was the opposite of what he wanted to achieve

Ricardo now forced himself to calm down once he seen the genuine remorse and guilt in Carlos face, and how drained he looked.

Realising they had all been through enough upset for one night, he left his son in Melanie’s more tender caring hands who insisted Carlos should get to bed and rest.

A little while later Melanie found her husband lying on top of their bed staring pensively up at the ceiling.

She went over to join him sitting next to him, “Carlos seems fine, he is sleeping now” she informed him

“Good,” Ricardo replied shortly, then his dark eyes glanced up at her trying to read her expression, she was still looking a little strained from the experience.

“You think this is all my fault, don’t you?” he then said a little bitterly, “You probably think I was wrong for insisting he came with us this season, and not to let him go stay with your father instead, as you suggested.. Then this would not have happened”

Melanie frowned a little as she looked down at him, “Actually that was not what I was thinking at all,” she informed him, “Perhaps its your own guilty conscience condemning you with those thoughts, they certainly are not coming from me” she finished quietly

“Oh yeah, and I have a lot to feel guilty about where Carlos is concerned,” Ricardo then said his brow creasing, “It seems you were right about the fact I was not spending enough time with him. Only now I am realising how much it meant to him. You tried to tell me, but it took this to make me realise how strongly he felt about it, when it was almost too late.. If he had fallen-” Ricardo started but found he couldn’t finish what he knew might have happened.

“Don’t torture yourself like this,” Melanie soothed him “He is going to be alright, and because of you. If you hadn’t climbed up that rope and got him down quick it could have been much worse, you saved his life,” she then pointed out.

She now reached out to stroke her husband’s head as she leant over him a little closer, seeing how he still looked troubled.

“Carlos realises what he done was very stupid, and deep down I believe he knows you care about him. He is just going through those difficult teenage years trying to find himself, and is all mixed up at the moment,” she then told him

“He is not the only one,” Ricardo retorted which made Melanie smile.

It was rare for him to appear vulnerable, and she was one of the few who had the privilege to witness it occasionally. What had happened with Carlos had affected him deeply.

He loved his children fiercely, but he had found it difficult to relate to his youngest son because of his illness, and the fact he would not be joining him on the trapeze.

“Everything will be alright, you‘ll see,” she then assured him leaning down and kissing him on the forehead

His dark eyes rested on her face, as if still seeking that reassurance and needing it, his hand came up to caress her cheek before drawing her closer to him so he could kiss her mouth, wanting to get lost in the feeling of her next to him and to find some sort of redemption for his guilty soul over what had happened tonight, so he could be rid of it once and for all

Their lovemaking turned out to be strangely poignant and tender that night, in a way it had never been before.

For the first time Melanie felt Ricardo was really giving himself to her, and finding the whole experience emotionally overwhelming she looked into his face just a few inches above hers, letting her hand reaching up to stroke his strong jaw line, “I love you” she found herself blurting out before she could stop herself, her heart was hammering in her ears, wondering how he would respond, she had really not meant to say it aloud

He just stared down at her for a moment, his dark eyes still smouldering from the desire of their lovemaking, then he kissed her lightly on the lips before nuzzling his face into her neck as he held her close to him, their bodies pressed together, then she heard his reply, even though the were a little muffled,

“I love you too”

It was all she wanted to hear, and with tears threatening, she wrapped her arms around him him tighter and murmered, "You see I told you everything would be ok"

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A.N. OK, I hold my hands up to the complete emotional sappiness in this chapter.. but I couldnt help myself, and there is probably more to come