You

You equals I

You’ve been abused, right to the core of your soul. Words aren’t strong enough to express the pain you feel inside. The effects of abuse never fully go away. There is no recovery. There is a healing process, a long and painful process. It doesn’t come soon enough. Many of days are spent in darkness, crying, broken and alone.

The only way to move on is to simply learn to live with the pain. But isn’t that what happens all along? Isn’t living with the pain the same as pretending to be fine and that you’re not hurting? It is like trying to walk on a broken leg. Why would anyone do that? If you knew your leg would never be fixed and you had no crutches to hold you up, what would you do? That’s what healing is. Learning to live with something that will never be fixed.

You can’t get back the life that was taken from you. You can’t escape from the memories hiding in the shadows of your past. And so you live. Haunted by what’s inside. No one can see your pain, but it is very much real and alive inside of you. For every minute of every day it is there. It never goes away and you’re always wondering why? Why is this the life that was chosen for you?

Maybe there are no reasons why. Maybe the old saying is true, ‘What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger’. Or maybe, ‘What doesn’t kill us makes us kill ourselves’.

You’ve wondered about it. What reason is there to live when every day is filled with pain? Is there a reason to live, or a bigger purpose? Is there even anything to look forward to? Or are the rest of days going to be much like the ones you are living right now?

Yet somehow life goes on. And somehow it keeps on getting easier. The aching pain in your heart eventually becomes bearable.

And you will smile again.

You equals I

I am smiling again.