all these antique memories are crashing around my eyes
as the wind picks up the scent of dirt
and horse hide with the wisps of my curly hair
and toss them to the back of my throat.
choke.

his big brown eyes are watching as I ride the dancing horse
a grin tickling the corners of my mouth as he looks away when
she starts to twist and turn, thick hide and glinting hooves inches
from the ground but hardly touching as I through my head back
and laugh.

I want to grab the past and down it like tic-tacs
so the acid rain in my shrinking belly can grind them into glop
for my body to disperse between my corroded organs
so they will have gone to good use
and gone for good.

the rain is pouring down his trembling shoulders as I turn
and twirl in the droplets making them spray from my soaked
hair onto his black sweater as he grabs my hips and pull me
into him, pressing his purple lips to mine before slipping
'cause the rain had made me hardly catchable at last since
his hands were cold.

I've let myself cry seven times but now it's getting ridiculous,
the past has left my shivering body and all that's left
is happiness and a boy walking by my house.
I'm made of a collection of “sweet” kisses and hugs that turned into nothings
in the end. I only hope you're an honest sweetness.

the bus seats are soft and your shoulder's enough to make me
want to succumb to the drowsiness lulling the stale warm air
into a dead stand-still of time. eyes closed I feel every breath
you take and your lips gently brushing my forehead as you
hold me close to the sound of bourne as he beats lives away.
I'm not a fan of the noise.

this is my transition from the follower to hand-holder.
beaten and useless I like to stagger and feel blood drip from my heart
onto my ribs where it would trickle down into the abyss of my soul,
before I stand up, take a napkin and clear up the left-over blood from my floors
so I may start anew with foundation skin and mascara eyelashes
to cover up redness and be fresh.
this is a first when it comes to being fresh because I've bathed in cold water
instead of blood and hormones.

my eyes are itching and my cheeks are flushed with blood
that has flown from my over-beating heart to my face as you
turn and look softly at me, making me forget how to breath
before your lips are on mine in sweet surrender making me
sigh and respond.