To Lizzie.

Because you’ll never see this.

Hello Former Best Friend,

So this is kind of different, here.

More or less a tune in my head that’s been playing for a while, but I never knew how to approach it properly. It’s like you’re being used, but the person who’s using you doesn’t know it. Probably because she refuses to ask. She refuses to take what’s given, just as it’s given to them, no hidden meaning. It’s like a game. I say the wrong thing, and then I’m gone. But when I say something that she wants to hear, I’m back in her good books.

In a way, it’s like they take me as two people. I’m tired of being that. I’m who I am, and it really shouldn’t matter to you if I was some dumbass on the streets, or the fucking President. Take me at face value. First impression. Hate me; that’s great, I really don’t mind. Like me; yay, I get a new friend. But don’t use me. Or anyone, for that matter. Not even if you don’t know that you’re using them.

You can be an asshole and it SUCKS when I have to be the person on the receiving end of your ranting when I did nothing wrong. So, stop. I don’t care if I’m not ‘nice’ or ‘caring’ or any other goddamn word you want to throw at my face, because I’m done. I’m tired of being your friend. I’m tired of you…being you. You know, you were one of my best friends. Ever. But I guess the good things just don’t last in life.

I think I miss who you used to be. All this transforming; I don’t like it. You act like I’m a nuisance, but then when I don’t say something to you for two days, you think I hate you. You accuse me of giving up.

So, you know what?

I give up.

I don’t care if you’re sad.

I don’t care if I can’t make you laugh.

I don’t care if you act like a complete sycophantic, parasitic, self-centered idiot because I fucking give up.

Goodbye,

Kee.

Your Former Friend.

Author’s Note: …That felt good. Aha. I’m glad I got it off my mind. Now, I’m going to sleep.

Good night.