Transcripted Confession of: Pandora

Pandora: Well, you see, it’s just that I’m so damn curious. I can’t help it that I am. It’s just, well, something I do, you know? I mean, Zeus didn’t have to give me that box. Hell, he knew that I was going to open it at some point! I mean, seriously! It’s me we’re talking about here. I was okay with going down and marrying whatshisface, Epimethius. It was pretty solid—we had a nice, big house, because Epimethius is gigantic sometimes, with plenty of yardspace to wander around in and plenty of servants and the like. But I just couldn’t get the gnawing desire to know what exactly was in that box out of my mind. Epimethius wouldn’t let me open it—he didn’t trust Zeus—so I just had to wait until he was gone, out of the house to go drink at some bar, or whatever, to open it. I mean, it was just sooooo pretty! So anyway, I reached up, opened it up, and WHAM! All of these ugly things flew out of the box. I screamed and nearly blacked out in fear—I can’t really remember, it just all happened so quickly—and slammed down the lid as hard as I could. The last one out was really pretty, I remember—so different from all of the others. “I am Hope,” it said. “While you have just released all of these miseries to the world to bite and plague the human race, I will be there to give them hope and knowledge that it can and will get better.” So I nodded and thought that, okay, well, at lease Zeus put that in the damn box. Boy, was Epimethius pissed when he got home that day…