A poem I wrote when I thought I was cured…I wonder how I stood up to all that, but failed over something so seemingly small? I broke before two years…

Poem of Naivety (A Year and a Half)

She looks so very average

So very undistinguished

You’d never look twice

Scars have faded over now

You’d never guess my vice

‘Till you scrutinized and saw

What you noticed not before

Curves pressed to another’s

And the whispers of a “whore,”

Night spent in fervent panic

Gripping gleaming blades

Have changed to nights of passion

Hidden behind shades

Because it’s just not acceptable

In Dorothy’s simple state

For two girls to hold hands

And yet I bare the weight

We’ve paved the way in high school

For something They don’t want

Stares at my pink-trenched arm

Change to a hiss of “cunt,”

Arm pink and peachy clear

But fresh wounds fester ‘neath

Sharp knife of rejection

Can cut so very deep

My father’s cold eyes pierce

Fake smile breaks my dome

As if there’s not enough at school

Now it’s seeping to the home?

My best friend’s holding up the weight

Of a family barely hanging to

I can’t burden her with these tears

So that’s my girlfriend’s cue

Some friends so imperceptive

They might as well be blind

One so desperate for love

In destruction she’s confined

Impartial listener turned partial

Then not there at all

It’s hard to rebuild that up

Without slipping down the fall

I thought that I would always be

Branded by my flaws

But they’ve almost faded now

By nature’s perfect laws

And so it is that no one knows

A year and a half today

Despite all the glares and hate

I’ve not yet gone astray