It seems like a long time that he's gone.

I am restless.

Energy pulses through me, electricity warming my chilled veins so that my eyelids itch and I cannot sit still.

I pace the room.

Thoughts of a missed dinner briefly cross my mind and I shake my head, lips pressed.

The outlines of ribs ache against my skin.

I'm pathetic.

I'm pathetic and yet...

I have accepted it.

My snowflakes watch me from the oversized windows, lacy curtains framing the dimming sky like delicate lashes.

They comfort me.

My only companions in this too big, untouched room.

I wonder vaugely if he really sleeps in here.

Tiny and alone in the soft ocean of silk that is his bed.

The door opens.

And slowly, I feel my heart melt.

He trails water across the clean white floors, rubbing a towel through his soaked hair so that it grows even messier.

I watch in silence, uncertain.

It's safer not to say anything.

At least, I think so.

The mattress creaks softly beneath him and the towel falls sloppily to the floor, silk sheets sliding slightly in the quiet.

After a moment, his gaze slowly moves to meet mine.

It is ice and light and beauty.

And I lower my eyes.

I am weak.

Pitiful.

I cannot even handle eye contact with...

With him.

This pretty-faced boy in boxers and an old school T-shirt, so steady as he watches me in an easy silence.

Hamilton Huskies, go team go.

"Alex"

He says it calmly, simply.

His eyes are fixed intently upon me.

I feel them.

And tentatively, I let myself look up again.

"Come here"

I'm hesitant.

Hadn't he said something like that the last time?

The time that he'd...

His eyes burn through me.

I take a small step towards him, biting my lip.

Why am I falling for this again?

"Closer"

He's so calm.

A few more slow steps, and suddenly I am only a pace away from the bed.

From him.

For a moment there is stillness.

And just as I begin to take a step back, just as I begin to get some sense in me...

He grabs my wrist, pulling me so that I'm slammed into the giving mattress.

My heartbeat screams in my ears.

Bad, bad, bad.

I knew it.

He crawls over me and I quiver, feeling the heat of his body, the cool droplets of water falling from soaked tresses.

His lips brush ice-cold against my cheekbone.

And I shove his chest away, kicking at the long legs draped over mine.

He falls back onto the slippery sheets, and I stand, taking a few shaky steps back.

Not again.

Please, not again.

He looks surprised.

Beautiful and tired and so tired and mildly surprised.

"Please, don't mess with me anymore"

I say it quietly.

My arms cross loosely, fingers pressing hard into my ribs.

It kind of hurts.

He blinks slowly, balanced back on the palms of his hands, mussed blonde hair hanging wet in his eyes.

After a few long moments he shrugs, nodding slightly.

"Whatever, Alex"

He wipes the bangs from his face, stretching out over the large mattress with a tiny yawn.

He looks so small.

Small and thin and...

Fragile.

I can see the bones in his shoulders, poking out against his wet shirt.

"Talk to me then. We have time"

He glances at me, and it's as if nothing happened.

As if he hadn't just...

I tremble slightly, but push the thoughts from my mind.

I can't let him do that again.

"About what?"

My voice comes out steadier than I'd thought it would, strangely balanced.

It's not very like me.

"Anything"

His eyelids lower slowly.

"Anything at all"

Anything...

I nibble lightly on my chapped lip, lowering myself quietly to the floor.

What is there to talk about?

My gaze wanders the room absently.

And suddenly, a thought occurs to me.

"Are your parents home?"

There is a pause.

I glance at him, lips parting.

There's a tension in his brow but quickly, it softens.

"No. Dinner party. They won't be home until late, so don't worry if you hear the garage later"

I nod slowly.

It would be best not to press.

I close my eyes.

Struggle for words.

What is there to say?

My fingers have curled around the steel heart around my neck.

It's cool against my skin, strange and slightly comforting.

My thoughts drift.

Back to the one who gave me this familiar locket.

The one who gave me this burden.

"Alex"

He murmers it.

"Don't think about anyone else. It's bothering me"

I falter, looking up at him.

His eyes are still closed.

And for a long time, there is quiet.

The confusion numbs me.