3 Dedicated to Lisa Rae Iskander 3

Trust

by K's Moonshadow

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What’s this?

This feeling

This decay

My shell is cracking

Peeling off

Not in little pieces

But big giant slices.

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I put it up in fear

Built it layer by layer

Carefully, painstakingly

Drenched in my multi-colored tears

Agonized over patching

Every single tiny crack.

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I’ve always needed it to

Survive

Can’t remember being

Without it

But now…

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What’s this?

This feeling

This decay

It’s new

It’s strange

Opening up my heart

Speaking the truth

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The vulnerability,

The risk

Expecting to get burned

Or at the very least ignored

Like all the times before

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Only now there’s

Acceptance

Understanding

Dare I even think it?

LOVE

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I’ve never had this kind of

Friendship

Not sure what to make of it

Do I trust it?

Let it grow?

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Instincts beg for me to

Stomp it

Remain quiet

Locked forever inside

My own little world

As horrible as it can be

It’s all I’ve ever known

But now…

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What’s this?

This feeling

This decay

Braving to break out

Living my life as me

Taking my past

Tight inside my fists

And then loosening up

Ignoring the terror and

Setting them free

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Embracing this treasure

The treasure of

Letting you in,

See the real me.