O2. When Ass Met Glass

Okay, really, who where’s paisley ties these days?

Apparently this guy does. I declare that a faux-pas. Why? Oh, because the force is strong in me. I am wise in the ways of fashion. Bow at my magnificence and all that. Mia says I am very gifted; she always takes me on her shopping sprees. It’s true. I often wonder if I should be a fashion consultant. That would be absolute dream job. Okay, so my ideal job changes daily but you can’t blame a poor barista boy from day-dreaming can you? Though just shopping for the rest of my days even if not for myself would be, for lack of a better word, awesome.

Oh I think he just said something.

Aside from the odd look he’s giving me, he repeats himself, “Can I get a grande low-fat latte?”

Holy fudge sickles on mars! He has one smooth sexy voice. Now if he just bent over and whispered sweet nothings in my pierced ear, I just might cream my very favorite pair of white-washed jeans. I wouldn’t mind so much, I think.

I laugh and slap the counter, definitely earning some looks. Well just from Mr. McSexyPants considering most of the customers here are regulars and know me well by now that this is usual for me. “Grande? This isn’t Coffee King, sugar. So you will have a medium low-fat latte.” I grin and turn to make his drink.

I can hear Mia behind me speak up. “So…what’s your name? What do you do? Straight or gay, or are you one of those in between guys?” That’s Mia alright, always digging into other’s personal lives even strangers. She was a gossip queen in high school and knew everything about everybody.

As I listen, there’s a pause and then a clearing of throat again. “My name is Cole Tomsky, I’m head of the business department for a large company, and I don’t think my sexual orientation is any of your business, miss.”

I brought his coffee to the counter right after that and smirked. I pushed a few buttons on the register but spout off the price without looking. “That’ll be 2.15,” I tell him with a flirtatious smile.

Sadly he seems immune. How tragic is that?

Polyphonic melody suddenly interrupts the slightly awkward silence and Cole pulls out a sleek Raspberry cell phone. He rests it between his ear and shoulder and fumbles for his wallet I assume in his inner coat pocket. As he does so, my eye catches something clipped to his shirt pocket. It’s one of those laminated IDs. There is a Coffee King logo in the corner.

I have no idea what comes over me but I snatch the coffee from him just as he grabs it and offers me three dollars. He looks quite alarmed, obviously wasn’t expecting this. I put the coffee back down and refuse the proffered bills. Mia backs away as I move around the counter appearing just as surprised as him. I grip his arm and attempt to usher him quickly to the door. He moves easily despite appearances. Maybe it’s just my magic touch. “Out with you,” I say sternly.

“What the hell?” He exclaims indignantly. “Is this how you treat all your customers?!”

“No,” I snap back. “Just corporate bastard spies!”

I drag his attractive ass across the street managing to be aware of any on-coming vehicles. Once I hit the sidewalk on the other side, push him right up to the fancy glass door of the Coffee King and opening the door I shove him right in where he belongs. I take a few steps back and glare at him through the large glass windows. Turning around, I unfasten my jeans and then hook my thumbs on my jeans and black undies at my hip. I hate when your boxers bunch up while wearing tight jeans, then again I only wear boxers to sleep in or go naked. In one swift motion I bring them down to just beneath my cheeks and then press my little ‘tush’ right up against the slightly cool glass. Ah ha, take that! I quickly pull them up and glance over my shoulder. Mr. Tomsky looks like a cod fish which amuses me greatly. I raise my hand and slap my left butt cheek. For a little something extra, I stick my pink tongue out. Not the only thing that muscle is good at. I am such a pervert, isn’t it wonderful?

When I make it back to the Pink Apple, I find Mia peeking out through the blinds. She turns to me when I enter with a curiosity evident in her expression. “Brilliant mooning, but what was that all about?”

“He works for Coffee King,” I mumble and move behind the counter. I pick up the discarded latte sitting innocently there. Poor thing was almost devoured by the enemy. I stroke the side of the cup a little before taking a sip.

“Oh, I see,” she follows me over and leans onto the counter top. “Well done, Patch.” She grins before reaching up to pat me on my head. Mia is shorter than me even though I’m only 5’7”.

“Thank you, Mia-pet,” I smile at her and finish the latte so it doesn’t go to waste.

It’s always the hot ones.

Man, I really need to get laid.

Author's Note; How's that? :) I would like to thank all those who reviewed and participated so far. I love you! hehe. Also please vote in my poll on my profile, it would be greatly appreciated.

Now, the questions is...Where should Patch go after work? a) go home, b) go to the beach, c) go to the mall, or d) go to the skate park. And how will he get there? a) hitch a ride from Mia, b) walk, c) take the bus, or d) ride his skateboard. Choose wisely, grasshoppers.