NOTICE: I loath these 'notes from the Author'. But I need to make it PERFECTLY CLEAR that this chapter and ONLY THIS CHAPTER is NOT MINE! The writer of this chapter is my friend Storyteller Knight. She and I have been writing Shane and Paws together for a while and when she read the short story she felt the need to write this. So I'm posting it, with her permission, just for laughs.

They were dancing, and it was an absolutely wonderful sensation. Shane grinned as he moved his hands up and down Paws’ body in ways he would never get away with in real life. Well, not when they were dancing upright at least.

His absolutely wonderful dancing session was interrupted by his phone. Blushing, Shane stepped away from Paws and flipped it open. “Sorry,” he told her, lifting it to his ear. “Hello? Hello? That’s odd.” The phone was still ringing, even though it was open and he was supposed to be talking to someone. Shane shook his head and tossed the phone over his shoulder. “Never mind. What do you say we dance to that?”

Paws just grinned at him. He was so captivated by that grin that it took him a moment to realize that she was fading away. He was being pulled away from her, out of the dream and back into his body.

Shane groaned as he returned to semi-consciousness. Although he was still half asleep, he was awake enough to know that this wasn’t where he wanted to be. He tried to return to sleep and that lovely dream, but the William Tell Overture was making it difficult. Wait? William Tell Overture? Oh, right, his phone.

Shane lifted a hand and felt around his nightstand until he found his cell phone. With his eyes still closed and his face half buried in the pillow, Shane flipped open the phone and placed it against his ear. “Hello?” he mumbled sleepily. His comment was met with a cheery response on the other end. “Hi Acqura… Acqura!” he yelled, suddenly wide awake. He turned over and sat up. “What is it? What’s going on? Who died? Who’d she kill?”

His panic was met with laughter on the other end. Shane frowned as he listened to Acqura’s cheery response. “Okay, who’d you kill?” He scowled as she laughed at him again. “Of course I think it’s an emergency! Why else would you be calling at,” Shane glanced at the clock. “4:18 in the morning?” Acqura’s cheerfulness turned to surprise. “Yeah, the time change,” Shane agreed. “I know I mentioned this several times before you left. I even put a post-it note on the map I packed for you telling you not to call before five in the evening your time.” Shane frowned as he listened to her response. “Three hundred… No, I did not give you a three hundred year old map. It was six months old at the latest. Unless of course you’re talking about the tour guide books I packed, but those can’t be much older than a year- what? No, no, I packed them in the front pouch of Paws’ carry on so they’d be easy to… you never found them. You’ve been in Rome for three days, how have you… three hundred year old map? That’s not going to do you much good.”

Shane sighed and rubbed his free hand across his face as Acqura explained how they had gotten lost yesterday while trying to find their way around the city using a three hundred year old map. Tayten had discovered the mistake and had gone to ask a stranger for directions. He had agreed to be their personal tour guide in exchange for…

“Excuse me?” Shane interrupted. “He wanted what? To have sex with you. Are you sure nobody’s dead?” He really needed to remember to turn his phone off at night. “No, no- Look, I know you three are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. That’s what I’m worried about. You… you volunteered me to beat him up? Um, Acqura, how big is this guy? Uh-huh… wait, what? He sent you where? Ah, wait a second, Acqura, I think you’re breaking up.”

Shane lowered the phone and put his hand over the receiver. He looked up at the ceiling. “Why?” he cursed softly. “Why did she have go to Rome? Why couldn’t she have gone somewhere more practical? Like Antarctica?”

Shane lifted the phone back to his ear. “Acqura? Yeah, that’s much better. Yes, I did hear the last bit. He gave you directions to-” Shane paused to swallow down all the curses that were building up in the back of his throat, “- the Vatican. Two hours waiting in line and… stopped because of a dress code violation? Did you leave then? No? Darn… Safety pins. How resourceful of her. What about you? Don’t get pouty. I know how you like to dress. I also know that they wouldn’t allow that in the Vatican.” Shane paled at her next comment. “Ma… magic? Nonono, you promised no magic. All of you. I don’t care… the Pope?”

Shane suddenly wanted to die. He wanted to crawl into a little hole, curl up and die. He love life dearly, and he loved his wife even more, but no amount of love was worth this.

“This is the last time I’m going to ask,” Shane finally managed to say. “Who did you kill? No one- don’t lie!” Shane nodded as he listened to her explanation. “You’re telling me that you didn’t do anything to the pope?” Shane paused at her response, feeling as though all of the wind had been knocked out of him. “Tayten what? Messed with the goddess every night… Yeah, I’m sure Paws tried to be diplomatic about the whole thing. I’d also like to add that we have very different definitions of ‘diplomatic’. What did she say to him? She told him that hell is… one… big… party… yeah? That she didn’t want anyone to judge her. What else? That the goddess and god live in harmony… she was defending me? Unfortunately that is not the best news I’ve heard all morning. The best news? Probably that no one died- yet. Hey, wait, you’re breaking up again.”

Shane rested the phone back on the night stand. He then proceeded to throw a small and silent tantrum. When he was feeling better, he picked up the phone again.

“Acqura? Yeah, we’re good again. Hey, listen, how about I search around and find some tours you can go on? I think that might give you a more educational and safer perspective on the city. Yes, I’ll make sure they’re small groups. In fact, I’m going to go out of my way to make sure it’s just the three of you. Yeah, I’ll call you later in the afternoon- sometime in the evening your time- with the details. Tours will start first think tomorrow. Right… what? Me visit? Maybe for your deportation hearing. Yeah, tell Paws I love her. Bye Acqura, I’ll talk to you later.”

Relieved, Shane snapped the phone shut and lay back down in bed. He really should have fought harder when Paws told him of her plans to visit Rome. As it was, he supposed that he had better feel grateful that he had managed to get out of going.

After five minutes of trying to sleep and getting no where, Shane picked up his phone again and dialled his best friend’s number. Three rings went by before Edolin finally picked up.

“Hello?” his friend said sleepily from the other end.

“Hey Edolin,” Shane greeted. “Wanna hear about how Paws is doing in Italy?”

“Who’d she kill?” Edolin muttered.

“No one.”

“Who’d Acqura kill?”

“No one.”

There was a pause on the other end. “Why are you calling at four in the morning if no one is dead?”

“Because we all have to suffer through this vacation together,” Shane declared. “So, their day started when Tayten realized that Paws was using a three hundred year old map to direct them around the city…”