2004

Trains, class, buses, all on schedules

And I move between them all

Clockwork, on track, keeping time, Point A to Point B

Time is dead, dull, and slow and I don’t care

Alone, simple, everything that’s all it is

No one to talk to on long train rides or pathetic bagged lunches

No one to hang around with when I get home

The phone is silent

I am a hermit without cave or shelter

Still in the sun, but as yet untouched

By a single soul but it’s fine

I grow into solitude get used to it

The wayfaring stranger with his stray cat strut

My own company begins to fascinate me

This is the way it is

It’s just how things are

And I’m getting used to it

2005

So here I stand before you but I don’t really care

Here I stand before you wondering if you’ll stare

First meetings, hands shaken, new names to remember

Hugs come easily here, I don’t get this

These people make no sense to me

A Rubik’s cube, crossword, a sudoku

And me minus the instructions unsure of what to do

But there’s something here that I think I like

And in their smiles, in this room

I think things might just turn out alright

2006-2007

I have seen the insides of diners

I have been so tired that it hurts

Even to close my eyes

But it was all worth it

The failing grades, the exhaustion

Just another hour and I’ll leave, I swear it

Brotherhood they call it

My little, Steve, as good as blood

As more people come into my life

Each one of them a patch in a quilt

That I wrap around myself on a snowy day

All of them a comfort, a sense of warmth

Though at times it might seemed tattered

It is as old a friend as the books I carry

And read as a child

And is of the utmost importance

2008

I am ruined, I am broken

Everything that was is no more

No longer does solitude seduce me

Whispering that things are better this way

Those days are gone forever

It was so much simpler back then

No pain, no emotion, just one person

To worry about, looking out for number one

But now the thought of being alone

Separated forevermore is a nightmare

And while my friends teach their hands to heal

And others train their tongues for foreign languages

And the others head out to parts unknown

I stand before you, but now at your service

So that if you ever need me, I shall come

As quick as I can

And I remember all of your names and the memories

Etched into my skin like the tattoos

I was too scared to ever get

But you’re in my blood

And if you never leave

I’ll be all the happier

Thank you for ruining me

For doing what was necessary