The First Time I Smoked a Cigarette

The first time I smoked a cigarette (‘fag’ to my father and I) was when I brought my boyfriend to my mum’s annual family reunion in Hershey Park. We’ve all been getting together since the Park started opening for ‘Springtime in the Park’, a weekend when select rides are open for 20 admission before the regular season opening. Our trip is pretty standard, with the whole family arriving sometime on Thursday night at The Hotel Hershey and fighting over who gets which rooms, going to the Spa and golf course on Friday, getting into the park early on Saturday and not leaving until someone tells us to, spreading out back into the park or into Chocolate World and buying a shelf load of chocolate and sweets on Sunday, and then all of us saying goodbye that evening, calling each other between 10 p.m and 2 a.m so that we all know we got home safely. Everyone was fine with the itinerary and knew it was family time, the only people being allowed were serious significant others.

The first hitch in last year’s plan was when I told my parents I was bringing my boyfriend, David, with me to the reunion. We had been together since the beginning of the fall semester and I had brought him over Christmas break and all had mutually taken a dislike to each other. My mum gave me a laundry list of reasons over the phone about why he was all wrong for me and that I should leave him somewhere on the highway since that’s where he came from. After holding the receiver away from my ear for about ten minutes, I pulled it back when my dad came on the line and told me to bring David and let him meet the rest of the family. When he said this, I didn’t particularly like his tone since I had heard it a few times before, but not when the outcome of the situation turned positive. My father is a passive aggressive person and enjoys sitting back and watching people pull enough rope out of their arses to hang themselves with. My parting message was for my father to tell his wife that David’s mum did not breastfeed her son vinegar and that I’d see them in a few days.

The next hiccup occurred when we were piling into the car that we were riding along in with my two cousins and their boyfriends to the park. Mia and Megan shared the car at school and whoever was more sober drove down, the other driving home, while Carl and Nate sat pretty in the back listening to the sisters bicker in the front seat about whatever pops into their head first. Now with me and David, along with our bags, added to the mix, room in the backseat of the Volvo was sparse.

“Alright, Carl you’re on the door, David you’re next to Carl, Sam you’re next to David, and Nate you’re on the other door. Any questions? Hurry up and get in.” Megan was already in the driver’s seat, fidgeting with her new GPS and making sure the directions were to her satisfaction.

“Yea-”

“That was rhetorical, David.”

“Yea, I know, but I can’t sit next to Nate-”

“Why the hell not?” The way the machine had us going was a few miles longer out of our way, ‘taking us down through west hell’ as Megan called it, and she is notoriously cheap around campus and in our family with petrol.

“I can’t listen to his music for two and a half hours.” Nate had what sounded like Arabic rap coming through his iPod earbuds, which I had uploaded last night for him from my laptop so he could nod off and sleep for a few more hours.

“You can’t switch spots because than Sam will be sitting next to Carl.” This had become a recent issue between Carl and Mia, who suspected him of flirting with me. Last night she gave us all a headache when we were packing the car because he helped me with my bag before helping Mia with hers since I was loaded down with David’s extra large gym bag.

“I can’t listen to Mia bitch for two hours-”

“Wait, I can’t sit next to Carl because he got pissed drunk last night and I don’t want him getting sick-”

“Damn it, David, just sit back, shut up and deal with it. That’s what you get for not having your own anyway.”

“David is just very conscious of his money. He spends most of it on school.”

“Was that the prick’s excuse for not buying you a proper birthday present?” I replied with my finger through her rearview mirror before she shifted gears and sped down the road.

When we got to the hotel, my family and my cousin’s mother were the only ones who had checked in so far since we like being early and getting a parking space, and sitting in the Beanery with a cup of chocolate.

“Duff- hmm, I mean David.” My sister stayed on the couch as we walked into the lobby, not even listening to David’s response back.

After a frigid greeting from my parents and aunt, who had no doubt been filled in on the trip over, we divvied up the current relatives. This was a test from our family which Nate and Carl had already passed with one Carter twin. My mum had me in a room with Megan and Mia plus their older sister soon to arrive, which my boyfriend immediately protested to. He would have had it out with my mother, who would have given him enough money for a coach ticket back to campus, in the middle cafe had not my father stepped into the situation. By putting a firm hand on David’s shoulder, he told him with a smile that never quite reached his eyes that he was bunking with Carl and Nate, plus Mia and Megan’s brother, and that was that. David swiftly got the message and swiftly got onto the lift with the other two.

“You know, dad, David just wants to spend time with me this weekend.” I stayed back with my family, trying to piece back a positive image of my boyfriend.

“Of course.” He just sat back and placed his ankle over his knee and turned to listen to what my mum was saying since she wouldn’t conduct any of her conversation in my direction.

The next morning, all the women went down to breakfast together before being called over to the Spa, while the men went off to play golf, until we all met up again at 1.00 for lunch. After a refreshing day catching up with the rest of the family who had arrived, we walked into the hotel’s restaurant on time, but David, Carl, Nate, and my Dad didn’t reciprocate our cheerful greeting. After sliding into a seat next to my boyfriend, who answered my few questions in monosyllables, so I listened to my dad give my mum a brief synopsis of the morning.

“What happened this morning Lindsey? All three of you look less than relaxed as you should be after a morning’s round.”

“Carl, Nate, and I took him to the smaller course to show him the basics, but David doesn’t golf.” Appearing for the second time in two days the smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and everything was revealed to me as if I had been there with them.

“What do you mean ‘David doesn’t golf’?” We both knew what that meant and didn’t need to have him rehash my boyfriend’s behaviour.

He said that David just ‘didn’t golf’, not that he doesn’t, or couldn’t, play the game; he just didn’t understand the rules, nor did he make any effort to, so he had been a dead weight the whole three hours they had played. My mum’s entire family, plus my dad, takes their golf very seriously, which I had told David on numerous occasions. I even checked his bags before we left school and made sure he had packed the outfit and shoes I gave him for Christmas so that he would be prepared for this day and at least seem like he knew what he was doing.

“David, how was your morning golfing?” I held up the menu to try and have a private conversation, which was easier than expected now that my mother unleashed a barrage of questions upon my father.

“Boring as hell; you never told me there were so many holes.”

“These are professional courses, love, so of course there are going to be a lot of holes. Golf is fun, David, if you give it a try.”

“Yea right, the score makes my head spin and everyone’s silent as hell.”

“They’re just trying to concentrate on the ball, David, and focus on aiming it where they want it to go. I can explain the score to you this afternoon; just try to do this- for my sake, please.”

“Whatever.”

After lunch, and another quick aside with David, we all left to have our game together as a family. Since my mother was feeling vindictive that afternoon, and my sister refused to play with him around jinxing her club, David and I were volunteered to caddy and drive the cart for my parents. My hands were itching for a club to swing at a dark-haired, human-head shape, but I put a smile on my face and showed my family that we were a wonderful couple and that David could fit into our family since he loved me enough to try. Swallowing his pride, and boredom, David did putt a few balls around to try and placate my father, which resulted in the third sighting of his ‘smile’. Afterwards, he was more than relieved to sit at the wheel and copying my vocabulary.

After an afternoon under the sun, everyone’s mood and performance eventually picked up and their attitude towards David became civil at its best, which I had to nudge him to return better than he received. When the sun began to set we headed back to the hotel to clean up for dinner, David holding me back, getting his first chance that day for us to walk and talk alone. Our meal was uneventful after the first, and only, speech from PETA-member and vegetarian David, two facts I was able to cover up successfully at lunch.

Saturday morning everyone was awake bright and early since we wanted to get done with eating and start off to the park as quickly as possible before we found a line or no space at the car park. Everyone in our room had pulled her clothes out the night before and spent five minutes in the shower each. We knocked on the guys door and Carl said that they were waiting for David to finish in the bathroom and that they would meet us downstairs in ten minutes. When we got to breakfast, the majority of the family was already seated with coffee so the three of us ordered for ourselves and our boyfriends. By the time our food arrived so did our boys not looking so happy.

“What’s the problem now?” Morgan directed the question at David, but Carl decided it was an open discussion and answered first.

“David spent forever in the shower, so I had to pick the lock and me and Nate pulled him out so we could have a chance to jump in. But pretty boy shoved us out and spent a hundred years colour coordinating his polo’s and popping his collars.” I looked over at David who was nicely dressed, but for standing around looking dapper, not having fun at a theme park. “Your brother had the good sense to wash last night.”

“Let’s just eat and leave already.” I could feel Mia and Megan’s eyes on me so shoveled what was in front of me down my mouth, but David wasn’t content with his toast, the only thing I could find for him on the menu. When I heard foot tapping, I waved the four off and said I would ride with my family.

When my mother found out she had to be in a confined space with my boyfriend, she had to swallow another morning’s Valium. Thankfully my dad has a large car and I put David behind my father and opted to sit in the middle so my sister couldn’t pick a fight. She got the brilliant idea to listen to her MP3 player and not interact with us.

“Hey Mr. Carter, do you think you could change the song?” I didn’t know a surreptitious way of telling him that my father was very particular about the music in his car. He has only one playlist on his iPod of British Invasion bands spanning from the 60’s to the 80’s, heavy on The Beatles, The Who, Depeche Mode, and Duran Duran.

“Is there something wrong with ‘Behind Blue Eyes’ David?”

“Actually I prefer the modern version.” My father gave David another ‘smile’ and tapped the wheel to change the song. ‘Halo’, one of me and my dad’s favourite songs came up randomly.

“Could you change this one too?” After he vetoed ‘Here, There, and Everywhere’, another classic, my father just tapped the machine off and drove the rest of the way, ‘smiling’.

Once we found a space, a few metres away from the rest of the family, me and David found and caught up with Morgan, Nate, Mia, and Carl. We all paired off to buy our tickets, David grumbling while shelling out for mine, then met up inside at our first, and favourite, roller coaster. It was tradition for us to ride the Comet first to start off the day, since it was the oldest roller coaster in the park and had the extra fear factor of a wooden frame, and then ride every other one back tracking all the way to Storm Runner, the newest and craziest run of them all.

After everyone gave me their phones to zip up into my pocket, we ran over to the ride where a small queue had already formed. I was excited since I had been waiting for this holiday since exams two weeks before and was dragging David by his hand to get in line. When it took more effort than I expected, I looked over my shoulder at him and his face was frozen, but his eyes were scared.

“I don’t like roller coasters. I’m scared of heights.” Oh yea, I had forgotten that’s why we couldn’t fly to Austin for SXSW two weeks ago.

“So sorry David; what’re you doing Sam?” Megan had heard his confession and had her arms crossed, waiting for me to make a decision. I saw the line had gotten smaller after the next car was loaded, then looked back at David who hadn’t moved a facial muscle but his eyes were more fearful then ever.

“This is the whole reason I come to the park David. Can’t you just wait here for me until I get off?” Every ounce of my brain was telepathically pleading with him to just loiter around the gate until we got out of the car, but my powers were off that day and he shook his head. I looked at my cousins and their boyfriends, but everyone found the amoebas in the air more interesting than helping me with this problem. “Fine, I’ll meet up with you and the rest of the family at lunch.” Before I could even finish my sentence, and give everyone back their phones and other personal affects, David grabbed my hand and pulled us out of the queue while I waved behind my head at my cousins getting ready to have more fun than I was.

The rest of the day was a boring blur. David was being really possessive and wouldn’t let go of my hand or let me out of his sight for more than a minute. Since the list of rides I wanted to go on evaporated, and every other suggestion I made being shot down, I gave David free reign to choose whatever we did since it didn’t matter to me any more. Soon I became immune to the screams and the feeling of rushing air of the rides above and around me and tried to give my boyfriend my undivided attention he wanted of me. When we had circled the park once, David dragged me to Chocolate world, where I bought a nice milk chocolate bar with almonds before doing my shopping early. I looked out the window and the bright sun shining outside while I was stuck in a people packed, air conditioned, faux foliage decorated maze, and wanted to scream for the first time since coming on this holiday.

We met up with the family at the Pioneer Frontier section of the park late, but thankfully my mum had ordered for me already, which she shoved unceremoniously into my hands. While David had to wait in the queue to order and ask in vain for something without meat, I leaned on my father’s shoulder while he was eating his cheese steak.

“How was your morning?” He asked the question like he already knew the answer but was asking out of courtesy, and I wasn’t going to give in.

“Fine; David and I had some time together this morning.”

“Wonderful.”

“Yea, we went all over the park, and shared popcorn, and walked along the water, and a bunch of other things. I even bought you pajamas with Twizzlers on them. It was great.”

“It sounds so.” This was the first time his ‘smile’ was meant for me, which made me want to scream and lose my patience for the second time that day.

“It really was, dad.”

“I’ve already agreed with you, Sam. You’ve convinced me.” He kept eating his sandwich like Wolfgang Puck was slinging the meat behind the counter, and I turned to my aunts to try and coax a kind word from them, but they were listening to their sister before their niece. Since David had stopped her from listening to her Style Council, my mother turned the other way whenever we, or I, came within twenty feet of her.

When David came back and sat down next to me with a bag of popcorn, the only thing he could find, it was like we both had the plague. Everyone had their own mini conversations with whoever else was near them, but nothing besides ‘are you using that napkin’ or ‘can I have your ice’ was directed to us. When we had finished, my eyes lingered on the happy and smiling broken up groups of my family walking towards the ride of their choice, and snapped right then.

“You know what David, I’m going to Great Bear.” I shook of his hand from mine, flexing it a little since it had stayed in the same shape for a few hours, and started walking up the hill.

“Sam, I told you, I don’t like heights, especially roller coasters.”

“I’m not asking you to come with me, David. You can wait outside the line if you want or find something else productive to do since the queue looks long.” My accent was more pronounced when I was angry and I started sounding like my dad.

“I don’t want to wait that long and waste time. Let’s just stay together.”

“I don’t bloody want to, David! I’m here to enjoy myself, not gallivant across the place like I have amnesia and watch everyone else around me having a good time. As I said, I’m going to Great Bear. You, you can do whatever you want.” I was halfway up the hill now and spotted my dad standing around with Carl, but before I could signal them, David had caught up with me.

“Hey, I’m not standing alone while you ditch me for your family, Sam. I’m here with you, and vice versa.”

“I’m here with you for my family, you wanker; get it right. I haven’t seen my parents since Christmas, another holiday which you also ruined for me. I cannot help for being close to my relatives.” By this time we were standing in the middle of the pavement with our row, but I didn’t give a rat’s arse who saw us and gave a damn. I had something to settle and that was the moment fate chose for us.

“That’s your problem, Sam, it’s always about you’re family with you. Can’t you forget them for just once and let us be us.”

“That’s your problem David; it’s always about you with you. I’ve tried to include you, David, I really have, ask anybody and they will tell you, but you always need to be contrary. Just once I’d wish you go along with the program and make things easier on my part.”

“I can’t help it if the levels of sanity between me and your family are so obvious and too deep to overcome.” What the bloody hell is he talking about?

“I’m not even going to ask you to explain that sentence. I just want to enjoy what is left of my weekend and you can also or just leave.” I turned around not waiting for him to verbalise his answer, instead seeing my dad and Carl ahead of me, both standing and smoking at the designated spot. Before he even knew I was there, I was in front of Carl and taking the fag out of his mouth and putting it into my own. I was just too stressed, and appreciative for the nicotine, to notice the protest from my lungs in the first few drags.

“Whoa, I’ve heard second hand smoke isn’t healthy for babies.”

“That’s not even funny.”

“What would Mia think seeing you two here?” My father had to add his two cents into the situation, though it could be worse considering the scene he just witnessed.

“Shut up dad.”

“Your mother’s going to be so proud.”

We stayed silent until the fag was finished then went to stand in the queue for Great Bear. All three of us boarded and were seated next to each other, and that was the only picture I bought after the run was finished, for which I got an earful from Mia, but at least we could settle things on the green.

A/N: So this is a short story I made for my Creative Writing class, and I decided to post it as a one shot here on FP. I collaborated true stories from passed family reunions, though non personally occured to me (minus the Mia-not-wanting-me-around-Carl thing). Names have been changed to make sure I live, cuz the living characters would kill me if they knew I posted this. Review and tell me what you think.