My Modest Proposal:

For Preventing the Seemingly Inevitable Social Meltdown of the Teenage Population and the Simple Way to Yield Them from Their Path of Self Destructibility and to Benefit Society as a Whole

The teenage social scene has jumped down a steep spiral of anger and illegal devices over the decade, much to the horror of their parents, supervisors and superiors. Not even a century ago, young women and men were expected to uphold the strict moral law set forth to them by their guardians without question or motive. An adolescent girl showing skin was frowned upon, ridiculed and humiliated. It seems to be such a stark comparison to today’s age of eccentrically lime-green fishnet stockings, tank tops, and mini-skirts which to the naked eye suspiciously look like the belt you lost in your closet nearly a week ago. But the most dramatic contrast is not the desecrating act of purposely displayed creamy flesh; no it is more of an internal affair that befuddles and blankets over our conscientious minds.

Recollecting and sorting through the askew problems our youth faces, one happens to confront my mind into submission and utter contempt.Thousands and possibly millions of our ever so popular American dollar are spent not on these utter fads, but rather a life long regret fulfilled by self resentment at the present circumstances and outcomes of what could have been ultimately avoided. In order to save what should have admittedly not been in harm’s way to begin with, a proactive solution seems to be in order. We must find a way to stop those verdant symbols from liquefying and turning into harmful substances which infiltrate the teenage body numerous times during such a short amount of time as a week.

So how do we stop which is stronger then any verbal testament can provide? How can we break apart the sweet allurement of faithful addiction which surely runs thicker then any blood bond friendship could stabilize? Just how exactly can we stop the sniffing, snorting, shooting, smoking, injecting, eating and ingesting of such provocative materials when the rebels of our society, our misunderstood teenagers, revel in breaking the laws, the codes and principals set down for a reason. My mind has often pondered such a solution to a pressing issue which should not and could not be ignored for much longer.

My modest proposal, as we shall call it, takes a simple yet ingenious idea to work. When you bring a small child to a candy store, his eyes lighting up in wonder and the mountains and floods of candy pouring off the shelf, the sugar coated goodness screaming a silent plea that just he can hear; he scours the shelf until it hits him. He does not simply want the chocolate covered sublimity, or the candy shelled ecstasy, his mind is centered around one thought and one thought only. He simply wants it all. But society denies him his wants, to his mind, his necessities. And herein lays our faulted strategy. What we, being society of course, must do is also fairly simple. What would happen if you did in fact give the child the candy shop in its entirety? What would result after eating mouth watering bite, again and again and again, until literally, he would explode? What exactly would come to be if little Johnny got what he wanted, a deliciously bittersweet overdose of his unwavering compulsion. That is the question, and perhaps the answer.

What I so humbly am suggesting to spare a second glance or glare at what we find to be unacceptable. Yes, filling our body with foreign exigency, even if one’s body aches so divinely its pores crave it, is entirely distasteful and repugnant. Teenagers get their quick fix, their adrenaline shot to push their minds into over gear. So what we must do, what we owe to our displaced sheep, is push them even further into their mistakes. If a young man deems it fit to take three hits of Lysergic acid diethylamide, more commonly known as LSD or acid, he will be begrudged to psychedelically take an excess of thirty. If she wants to snort a gram of cocaine, compel her to bask in forty more. We always dutifully let the meaningless phrase roll off of our tongues, “I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.” How well has this approach succeeded? As an admittedly subjective third party, I would have to point out the flaws of sheltering a soul which yearns to break free from its own safe haven. It is in human nature to learn from our mistakes or die trying.

In no way am I pushing to be inhuman or unusually cruel, but we must face the facts. Illegalizing has never worked, but has in fact tended the opposite of desired goals. We must let the experimenting class do just that, experiment. Making a drug legal may yield income for our amazingly stabilized government, but it also allows easier access. But the time the narcotic is legalized, the child is already lulled into a state of obligation. It is no longer in a question or condition to stop taking something just because it has lost its rebel appeal and become “mainstream.”

I can assure that this is the most logical solution anyone can provide at such a pressing time. With such a proposal instated, one of three things will happen. The child will eventually come down gratefully off of their mandatorily extended high, and refuse to look at another drug again without turning a beautifully verdant color and scouring for the nearest empty space to empty what was partially digested at their latest meal. The self appointed scientist will overdose on the drug, effectively killing them. Or perhaps the user will forget what sense of wit happens to be left, and continue abusing such despicable products, eventually leading to his shortened life or immediate death. We can no longer afford to put our youth at such a risk, when vile concoctions can be made with simple household products or is available to the majority of the population at any school.

Of course, I am human, and therefore hold the fault of natural and accidental err. If any wise man or woman has a greater perspective of solution then my own, I will be more then willing to embrace and studiously inquire to each method and thought out plan if it holds the same intelligent and effectual premise. But before my reader discards my concepts I would ask for you to consider this: how often have you learned from another’s mistake and disregarded our own desires for what seems sensible? When will you the torrential downpour of value stop slipping into our future’s broken veins for a temporary euphoria that just leaves one more of a shell then to begin with?

I profess to you, my reader, with the most sincerity my heart can bear to muster, that I have absolutely no person gain in this premise, any more then the rest of society. I have solely written to reach you to help these troubled youngsters from these horrid substances, before it is too late for anyone to help at all…