It’s dark

It’s dark. It encloses around me, choking me. Suffocating me into submission to its claws and teeth. It’s retched ideals moving me to insanity. It hurts to breath. My chest rises and falls in quick spasms that don’t go away quick enough. And as silent as I lay, I feel an urge to chase away the darkness and all that comes with it with my voice. But I wont give into it. I must stay silent. Yet my sobs escape my parched throat, and the tears that slide down my face in streams seem to give the darkness its pleasure. Oh how I wish to scream. To yell a name, a word, any small sound to break the smashing, enclosing darkness. Silence.

It haunts me. Leaves me in blackness that disgusts me. Destroying me. Decoding my every thought. Leaving me to think about what I wish to forget. Dissecting my world and everyone in it. Leaving me to wallow in the memories and ideas that I don’t wish to have. Why can’t the darkness destroy those memories, hide those thoughts of pain and gore that I only want to disappear. But instead, pulling back the memories of happiness. Of daylight.

The dark is killing me. The silence ripping me to shreds. Leaving me ravished, bleeding, dying. Drowning in the small sound of my own whimpers and sobs. The tears burning the skin beneath it. Macabre in my minds eye. Seeing things through my streaming tears. Things that kill the hope that I have. Waiting in the murderous dark.