“Oh, honey! It’s time to wake up! It’s the first day of school!” I heard my mother’s sing-song voice from down the hall. I had lost track of time while I was reading. I quickly shoved the book back under my bed and pretended I was sleeping.

“Wake up, sleepy head! Today is the first day of the new school year!” My mother opened the door and bounded over to my bed. Either I was a really good actor, or my mother was just that dense. I like to believe the former. I pretended to be roused from sleep. “Now get up and get going! Do you need any help getting dressed?” My mother asked. I shook my head.

“Aww. You’re Mommy’s big girl! Getting dressed all by herself!” She kissed me on the forehead. “If you don’t need any help, I’ll make you some breakfast!” My mother jumped back up and was out the door before I knew it. I counted the steps she took down the stairs. Fourteen in all.

I slowly rose from my bed. I had forgotten that today was the first day of school. To say I was excited was the overstatement of the year. I liked learning well enough, but the other kids seemed slow. Extremely slow. Last year I couldn’t comprehend that the kids still didn’t know their shapes or even the letters in the alphabet.

Giving yet another sigh I made my way back to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and put on my underwear. Then I opened my closet and got my uniform off of the low rack that my father installed so that I could dress myself.

It was one of the ugliest pieces of clothing I have ever laid eyes on. It was a red and black plaid jumper that was pleated from the waist down and a white blouse with a Peter Pan collar. My parents say I look cute in it, I just think I look stupid.

I go to an elite private school where there are about 15 students to a class. The teacher usually has at least five years teaching experience and knows what he or she is doing. So far my classmates were either spoilt brats or very simple minded. Last year was my first year of formal education. I learned that when you say something that people perceive to be out of the norm for a child your age they act funny.

I try to act like any other child my age, I really do. But sometimes my temper gets the best of me. Once, I was having a really bad day. You know, one of those days that turned out to be so bad that you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed. This one kid, Aaron, was badgering one of the girls in my class. He’s the bully of our class, but his parents have threatened to sue the school because he got sent to the office one time. Teachers don’t reprimand him anymore.

So, as I was saying, he was making fun of the girl. I sat and watched him for a while, while he called her every kiddy name in the book. Butt-face, butt-head, nose picker, those kinds of names. She ignored him for a while until the kid decided to punch her. He did this several times before I stood up and shouted at him.

“My good sir, you are a complete and utter coccygodynia. You go around spreading these buncombes about this girl and then you start hitting her! Get away from her, or I will call the authorities!”

Then the boy ran to tell the teacher what I had said. I smirk came to my face as he tried to pronounce what I had called him. The teacher marched over to me with a smug looking Aaron by her side.

“What did you call Aaron?!” She asked.

“I called him a coccygodynia.” I replied.

“A what?”

“Coccygodynia.”

“What is that supposed to mean, miss?!”

“It means a pain in the coccyx region.”

“Well, what is the coccyx region?”

“The tailbone.”

She looked stunned for a moment, but she went on.

“And what did you say he was spreading?”

“Buncombes.”

“Excuse me?”

“Buncombes. Lies. False statements. Misrepresentations. Misstatement. Fib. Prevarication. St-“

“That’s enough! Just go to the principal’s office!”

She waved me off with one hand and that idiot Aaron just laughed. I knew that as soon as I went out of the room he would start picking on his prey again.

In the end, I got sent to the principal’s office, got my mother called up at work, and had to stay in from recess for a week. Aaron continued to harass the girl, plus he added me to the list of people he didn’t like.

I learned then that it pays to stay quiet.