My name is Dylan Gregory Thomas

My name is Dylan Gregory Thomas. I’m fifteen years old, but according to my profile I’m in my twenties. I’m bisexual and I’ll admit very confused and have no clue what the hell I’m doing anymore. I do a lot of bad things. I’m on craigslist every night looking for guys or girls a bit older than me that can teach me about sex and make me feel good. My father left me when I was five and my mother is drunk about ninety percent of her time awake, so I haven’t really learned anything. I was an early bloomer as I’ve been told, and I’ve also been told I could pass off easily for eighteen. So that’s what I did. I’ve meet up with people a few times. Didn’t do much than experiment some stuff. I’ve meet up with two women and three men. Gay men have been easier to hook up with, they are a lot more perverted than the women on the site.

I’ve got about twelve online boyfriends and none in the real world. I meet them all on my Myspace and a few through the flirting section of Facebook. Nobody can know that I’m bi, not yet anyway. I don’t want that getting out, it will only make things harder, so the only way I can have some sort of guy-guy relationship is online. There’s Jason, Matt, Kyle, Lee, Tommy, Bill, JP, Mike, Tony and to be honest I can’t think of the others off of the top of my head. I’ll tell you a little bit more about those guys in later chapters. Meeting people online is easy. A lot of my “boyfriends” are older than me. I’ve always gotten along way better with people older than me, every guy in my school may look like they’re twenty but they’ve got the same personality as a five year old. Making noises in class, pushing in the hallway, saying random things and thinking that they’re funny annoys the shit out of me. They’ve got to grow up because when they’re thirty with a family, making a fart noise during a serious discussion doesn’t get the same uproar of laughs as it did in high school.

I get okay grades in school, but keeping up with my homework is nearly impossible with all of the lovers I have to keep up with. Especially Matt. I lied to Matt about who I was. He’s 24 and lives in Chicago about an hour from me and ever since we meet he’s been begging to meet up with me. I told him I was twenty three and live in a great apartment with a dog and have a job as a screenplay writer. The day Matt told me he loved me was one of the most confusing days of my life. He loves my alias, not me. He’s talked about meeting me for some time and I keep coming up with reasons why I can’t meet him, reasons why I have to stay here. I don’t know what to expect with him. The hardest thing is though, I do love him. I love him very much, but I don’t know what the hell to do because I’m a fifteen year old boy who lives with his mom, nowhere near the person he thinks I am. So any time now, that whole section of my life is just going to literally explode. There will be pain, and lots of it. I dream sometimes at night about a life with Matt. An impossible life. I shouldn’t have lied, maybe if I told him I was fifteen, and told him the whole truth he would have still fell in love with me, and maybe we could work something out, maybe he could wait until I was eighteen and we could make love and live together, and I could have gotten out of the clutches of my mother. Keeping up my double life takes out a lot of energy from me. I hardly sleep though because I text him all night every night, and I can’t text him during school and I don’t want him to become suspicious of me not texting him during the same six hours everyday. So I made up a story that I had a job. It’s a very long complicated web and somebody is going to get very hurt eventually. I love Matt enough to hide my secret for now. He’s going through a very hard time and if he found out that the love of his life is nothing near what he thinks I am, then he might have a complete meltdown and I don’t think I could live with myself if I caused that.

As I was saying I get okay grades. A B- average keeps my mom happy. I don’t have time for homework and I miss one day a week to talk to Matt. But like I said I get along great with people older than me and all of my teachers love me. Especially my English teacher. She says I’m an exceptional writer with an amazing imagination. Trust me when I say I KNOW I have an amazing imagination, how else do you think I have fourteen aliases. Each alias has his own story to tell. For some reason in all of my aliases there is tragedy in my life. I guess I added that so people would feel sorry for me.

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