Taking Chances

based off of my life

(I know I've done a lot of stories/poems/or whatever about 'him'. I can't really help it, okay!!)

idea taken from Dangerously Alice by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

!--!

I made my decision. I'd better do it now before I chicken out. Ben didn't know, my mom didn't know (obviously), even my friends didn't know. It was 3:15 pm, so no one was home except for me, and he should be at his house by now. If I was in my right mind, I would have totally ditched my idea and gone over to Dame's house with Lilly and played Super Smash Bros. on his Wii. But no way. I was standing here right in front of my phone, dialogue all planned out. If I wimp out, I will kill myself...with a spork.

Right now, you're probably wondering, "Okay, who is this person and what is she talking about?" if you had the brains to realize I was a girl. Well, my name is Meryann Wong. I'm merely a rather odd (as in Panic! At The Disco Pretty. Odd.) non-popular non-wannabe not-labeled girl at Stonewall High, with some friends, distant friends and close friends. As a freshman, I'm pretty smart except for Honors West Civ. and Honors Bio. But I'm good at pretty much everything else, probably because my elective (Music Tech.) is fun, Language is my subject, really, and I'm in Trig. In the ninth grade.

This dilemma that I was in was one that would be quite difficult to explain. Here's the deal: I was standing in front of my home phone (because I don't have an effin' cell phone), meaning to call the boy that I like and ask him to the dance. Typical, right?

Wrong.

Thing is, this guy is popular, and I, well, am not. I know you've probably heard that one millions of times. Well, this time is different. This guy had been my friend when I was nine, back when he was not popular. Correction: he was my best friend. Except when we were best friends, he had liked me. Two years ago, I had realized that. And that I had liked him back. And he liked me in fifth and sixth grade too. And, surprisingly, I had liked him back, back then as well.

So in seventh grade, I sent him a perfectly good Valentine.

However, somehow (cough Matt cough Jake's best friend, almost pretty much) he found out that I sent it, then told everyone that I liked him. Because when I started to realize I had always liked him, he stopped liking me. Yeah, just my luck. And people started gossiping. Three people asked me why I sent him the Valentine. Matt Byefgol, who used to be my half-friend, but because he was best friends with this guy, he started hating me. (Vi reckons it's because she thinks he liked me. I doubt it.) And this guy and I never talk anymore. He's über popular and über flirty and über jerk-y. I'm just me. I don't even want to like him.

But I do. And I really care.

So why was I about to ask out the guy whom I hate--and love? I don't know. But some crazy spirit possessed me to have the idea to ask him out. So...I guess I was going to.

School address book in my hand, phone in my other, I finally gathered up all my courage--and dignity--and life, and dialed his number. After four rings, someone picked up. "Hello?"

"Um, hi," I said nervously. "May I speak to Jacob, please?"

"Jacob!" I heard his mom yell at him. Footsteps were heard, and then a male voice said breathlessly, "Hello?"

"Er, hi," I said. His voice turned into confusion, and then I heard more footsteps. Going to his room, probably, so his mom wouldn't eavesdrop. "Who is this?"

"Um, Meryann Wong," I said nervously. I knew this was coming.

"Oh," said Jacob. There was an awkward silence. Then,

"So, um, why did you call me?"

"Well, er-" I hesitated. Should I stall? "I need to confess something."

"Yes?" he asked. Quite eagerly, actually. I frowned, but said into the phone, "You know in eighth grade, you go those tampons mailed to your name?"

"Hey, how did you know that? I didn't tell anyone!" he said furiously, but confused.

"Yeah, well, I sent them," I pointed out. Jacob sighed.

"Man," he said. "Why did you do that?""

"Because I didn't really like you and my friend found a website online," I said. "It was for free tampon samples."

"How did you get my address?" he asked, still quite confused.

"Same way I got your phone number," I pointed out. He sighed again. I rolled my eyes. "But, actually, that's not why I called you."

"Why?" he asked.

"Well...I wanted to ask you to the December dance," I said. There was a slightly awkward pause, before Jacob said hesitantly, "Meryann, that's months away! It's only the beginning of the school year! Besides, I don't really go to dances."

"Well, yes, I suppose all that is true," I admitted, "but what would you say is Wilma Long asked you to the September dance, then? Besides, I figured December because that's close to your birthday. And if you do get asked out to any dances before that, you could say yes. Instead of me, taking up your time."

"Oh...well..." Jacob was at a loss for words, obviously trying to worm his way out of this date. I pressed on.

"Dude, look," I said in a somewhat friendlier tone. "I don't really like-like you, okay? I mean, I guess I did a while ago-" (and all of that was pretty much a lie) "-but now, we like never talk. Besides, we did used to be really good friends. I just want to see if we can—sort of hang out again."

"Er, but what if I'm busy?" he asked. I rolled my eyes and glared at the telephone speaker.

"You can't possibly have plans for December. IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SCHOOL YEAR," I nearly shouted into the phone. "Dude, if you want to reject me, just say no."

"Fine then. No, I won't go to the December dance with you," said Jacob. I sighed. What an effing difficult boy!

"Give my five good reasons why not," I said.

"Wha – but – huh?" Jacob sputtered. "You just said--"

"You need a reason," I interrupted. "Now give me five good ones."

"What is this, some kind of interview?" said Jacob. I rolled my eyes, again.

"Give me five good reasons, please!"

"Okay, okay, fine," said Jacob, frustrated.

"One: Because I don't like you that way.

Two: Because I hate dances. That's why I don't go to them.

Three: Because I like somebody else.

Four: Because your friends are annoying.

Five: Because what will people say if they saw us going out?"

"Okay, to four and five, fuck you," I said angrily. (Seriously! Number four was just plain mean, and five...screw him!)

"That's bad, Meryann," said Jacob sternly. "You said the f-word."

"Like you don't?" I said sarcastically. Before he could respond, I said, "Number one: I said I wanted to go as friends. Two: You are such a liar; I've seen you at three dances last year and it looked like you were having a good time. Three; JUST AS FRIENDS! Seriously, do you know what I mean by 'five fucking good reasons'?"

Okay, that was really beeyotchy of me to say that. But that's what annoyance does to e. Only that time, though, I actually said my feelings.

"Meryann-" Jacob's voice sounded tired. "You know that I liked you in fourth to sixth grade, don't you? Jason said you did."

"Yeah..." I said.

"Well, I never really thought about the fourth grade until you brought it up just now," he said. "What do remember, when we were friends?"

"Oh, well...this may be a long list," I said. Jacob's voice was calm; actually, he had totally been out of personality since the beginning of the phone call. Usually he acts more like an ass, but now...

A/N: If you really want to understand the fourth grade stuff, I suggest you read "Jake's Letter."

"Fart seeds, remember those?" I said. "Our hand-slapping game, Chicken. Pokemon. Egyptian Rat Screw. Dragon Ball Z Yahtzee. Capture the Flag. Douglas Zhang. Is that enough?"

"Oh my God, I totally remember stuff now!" said Jacob. "And—we were making fun of 'hardy nature', I said that I had a Crobat but really, I didn't, and you had that guide book..."

"Okay, okay, okay, enough reminiscing," I said, slightly impatient. Ben was going to be home any minute. "Is your answer still no?"

"Well..." Jacob hesitated. "Just as friends, right?"

"Just as friends," I confirmed firmly.

"I guess number five doesn't count, because my friends don't really go to dances," I heard Jacob mumble to himself. "And if people see us?" he added to me.

"They probably barely even know me," I said. "Screw the."

"Do we have to hang out with your friends?"

"Well, you get to see the freaks I hang out with every day," I teased. He chuckled, and said, "Well, I guess it's a yes. I will go. To the December Dance. With you. Just as friends.

"Yeah," I grinned. (Wow! My plan (sort of) (kind of) worked!) "But don't even think of standing me up."

"No way," said Jacob, as I was glad to hear. "Now that I'm remembering all that fourth grade stuff, I really do want to hang out with you. Besides, it's in four months. Just something I'll look forward to all fall."

"Actually, I've been looking forward to it all summer. But I figured eighth grade was too early to call."

There was a stunned silence at the other end of the phone, to reply to my statement, before Jacob said, "Well, there is still the Halloween, September and Thanksgiving dances. Maybe I can learn to like dances better if I go to those."

"Yeah," I agreed, smiling. "Just don't get a girlfriend that might just break your promise."

"No chance of that," said Jacob, and I could hear a smile in his voice. "I'll be waiting for in in three months and twenty-eight days. I'll look forward to it. See ya later."

"Bye," I said, and smiling, I gently placed the phone back into the reciever.

What do you say to taking chances?