Most people didn’t even know it had happened. Sure, there were rumors about some kind of crime scene down on one of the lower floors, but no one had gone to see if your door was covered with crime tape. No one tried to find out where your room mate had ran off to. N one even paid attention when you screamed. I told you. I was the only one in that building that cared.

You were lonely. I could see that the very first time I saw you in the common room. You’d moved from a big town where you were the center of your universe, to a respectable sized university in a small town in Alabama. An outsider.

I knew how it felt, I knew how being an outsider felt. When I was in high school I was that kid that sat in the corner by himself. At the university I walked alone and my room mate barely even knew I existed. I ghosted about, I stayed out of his way, and he happily ignored me.

That day you smiled at me, God, I felt alive. We didn’t need words. We just knew that we were kindred spirits. Soul mates.

You were the only one I missed over Christmas break, and you were the only one that called me at home just to say hi. I thought about asking you out when we got back from break, but you came back with the happy news that you’d found your perfect man. An old friend from high school. Of course I understood.

But I was there the night you cried, I listened to you scream about how he cheated on you from Jenna-down-the-street and I was with you, hating him just like you hated him. I would have killed him if you’d given me the chance, but you wouldn’t let me go, and I didn’t want to let go. You were mine for that moment, even though you cried. You clung to me, desperately needing me the way I had needed you so I held on with the desperation of someone holding onto their lost child. To their lost loved one.

But I had to let go- dorm rules. One o’clock was lock down time, so we parted ways. A long hug, a shallow smile. That’s all I remember. I knew I couldn’t leave you like that, so alone, so sad. I hated seeing you cry. I hated hearing his name coming from your lips as you tore the picture of him out of the frame I gave you for your birthday.

And now I’m standing at the foot of your bed, the crisp white sheets stained with blood and the glass from your grandmother’s mirror shattered across the rug. Your blank stare, you were watching me with a lingering look of love and surprise that I’d returned as you fell. I wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to assure you that I wouldn’t let him hurt you again.

So I did.