A/N: Hi there! Yeah, this kind of is what happens to me every day when I have to get in trance due to a special program I'm following to learn how to lucid dream. The thing is that I always start to think about other things, and I decided to write down what happens every night. My friends thought if funny, so that's why humor is the second category. I honestly don't know if it really is that funny at all. Well, just have fun reading!

All you need to do, is listening. Just listening to my voice and relaxing. It’s not difficult, you just have to concentrate a little on what I’m saying.

Concentrating and relaxing? That’s a kind of hard. I mean, I’m lying here and if anyone would enter my room that person would sent me to a mental hospital immediately, and I’m really trying to do nothing. Oh yeah, concentrating. I have to listen to what the voice is telling me. Shoot, I forgot to listen. OK, for now it’s okay, I’m just going to listen again. No worries.

Feel yourself sinking away. I’m not going to do anything to you, just listen to my voice. Allow your mind to sink deeper and deeper, into a trance-like state. It’s not hard, it’s just letting your mind go.

Okay, I’m trying. I’m letting my mind go. Go, mind, go. I wonder whether my mind can fly away. Nah, it wouldn’t suddenly get wings. What is the mind actually? I’m still trying to relax, and I only concentrate on what is being said. Go, mind, win the race of relaxation! Wait, that can’t happen, right? I mean… Right?
Oh no, I forgot to focus on the voice again. I don’t want to start all over. I’m just going to listen again and not let my mind wonder of. Not let it think anything else than concentrating on the voice.

Now, I’m going to count from five to one. When I have reached one, you will be in a trance-like state, and you have no desire to do anything at all but listen. You have no desire to move your body, or think of something else- you just listen and feel yourself sink away. Five…

I have never liked countdowns. Everyone is waiting for the end of countdowns, and sometimes one gets nervous just because of the countdown. Can’t anyone just say; people, NOW is the time we have been waiting for? I guess not. I’m not even relaxing at all. All that noise around me, and… Oh God, no! I have to listen!

Feel yourself going deeper and deeper. Let yourself go, just let it go, and concentrate on nothing but my voice. Four. You shut out the rest of the world, nothing else but what I’m saying is important to you.

You are so not right, voice! I can hear everything around me. Like that door shutting a few seconds ago. Or that motorcycle that’s riding through the streets. Or my dog barking at some invisible dove or cat. I mean- what, are we at two already?!

Everything around you becomes less and less important. You hear nothing but my voice. You are relaxing more and more and your mind sinks away. One…

This is the point. This is where it all becomes interesting. He is just going to say some words and then he’s going to tell the message. I guess I have to be in trance or in a trance-like state if I want to do what he says, but I’m just, kind of, not. I’m awake, I can move my arms and legs when I want to and I’m absolutely not focused. Oh well, who cares. I’m just going to make fun of the funny accent he has.

Now, you are very relaxed, very obedient, you will do what I say even if you don’t want to. Your mind is very relaxed and your whole world exists only of my voice.

Hell, no!