“You never really know what you had until you have lost it.” People have said that to me so many times I have lost count long ago. I never really understood what everyone meant by that saying. I thought about it in so many different ways and looked at it at so many different angles, but I never really have gotten that full effect of the actual meaning. The meaning of this saying could be taken in so many different ways.

For example, it could be something along the lines of, you found these shoes that looked really ugly to you at the time, but you only bought them because they were half off. Then one day you clean out your closet and look at the ugly shoes and decide to throw them away because you never really wear them and of course, because they’re extremely ugly. Then a week passes and you’re sitting down watching some t.v., when suddenly this fashion show comes on. To your amazement, you see the model strutting down the runway, and she is wearing the ugly shoes you threw away the week before. Then you think to yourself and wonder why you ever threw those shoes away in the first place.

I was once one of those people who thought that expression was only about that and that alone, until one day I lost something. Something so precious and dear to my heart, that I felt like I was dying inside. Something that no human being should ever have to experience in their whole life. No amount of physical pain or suffering can ever amount to the emotional pain of losing someone you love. I don’t mean losing someone to death, but living with the fact that you screwed up your one chance to be truly happy in life. The one chance to have that “fairytale ending” every girl wishes she could have. The kind of love that when you see that person your heart speeds up and slows down all at the same time. The type of love that no matter how hard you try to explain it, no matter how many times or how many ways you try to write it down on paper, you just end up reminding yourself how unexplainable it really is. I’m talking about head over heals, butterflies in stomach, week in the knees, love. I’m talking about true love.