To whom it may concern:

Please remember that oftentimes I awaken in the middle of the night, screaming from nightmares that are so much worse than black; they are white with the force of the imagined blows to my arms. legs. face. Sometimes, on such an evening, even the comforts of an embrace won’t do well to calm my shaking limbs. Other times, I’ll drift back to sleep in your arms. Yet still more nights, I may flinch back from your whispery touch because it reminds me of another time.place.memory.

Please remember that even though I rarely cry, I’m full of never-fallen tears. Just because I’m too afraid to show them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. While you watch, I’ll stand stoically in the corner (to duly serve the punishment you set for me). Then, in the corner of my bedroom/cage/prison, my sobs shall tumble past chapped lips, tears cascading past bruised cheeks. The moment the splintered, wooden door slams open, I will clamor to my feet and stand at attention like a prisoner of the war that goes on behind the walls of my very own house (never a home).

Please remember that I do not enjoy the stinging pain that echoes across my skin the morning after my “punishments.” While, admittedly, I may stand silently in the face of the crack.slash.whip, often I prefer a quiet admonishment. Unfortunately, such a consequence I see only at the homes of others… when I am allowed out, that is. I tend to react more compliantly to gentle remonstrations or disappointment from my guardian.

Please remember that I used to be full of boundless joy and energy. Not to worry: that has already been beaten out of me, stripped from my person, long ago. You will not find me jumping on my bed (because I sleep in the closet) or griping over tasteless food (because to get any food is quite a treat). No, instead, I shall sit quietly at your side. If you so wish, perhaps I’ll stand instead. Whatever suits your desires; I shall follow in exchange for some meager helpings of food.

Please remember that, if ever you find yourself in a pleasant mood, I am never one to reject a bit of tender love and care. Although I may flinch back from a hug, please do not take such a gesture to heart. It is not your open(-hearted) hand away from which I shy; it is the fist etched into my memory. Kisses to the forehead, though welcome, may be greeted with only a reticent smile, quick to vanish. When I withdraw from you, please realize that inside I am begging, “Please don’t give up on me!”

Please remember that a little bit of patience goes a long way.

And please remember: I am not a burden. I am just a child.

Yours Truly,
Me

5.13.08

Author's Note: Just a little something I thought I'd experiment with -- to see how it'd end up reading. I watched a video against child abuse a few minutes ago, and one of the comments was:

I am not a burden.
I am just a child.

That's what brought this "letter" about. It's different, I know. Please let me know what you think despite that... or perhaps because of it. Either way, leave a comment/review. Thank you.