A/N: This is a chapter that’s been in the works for a while. It’s one of the few chapters that I’ve had plotted out as a waypoint for everything else. This is also a point where I wonder if anyone has picked up on the allusions and foreshadowing I've done since the beginning. I never intended for this story to be written as a serial, but rather as a complete story. I'm not sure how a person reading a new chapter after two weeks since the last one works with that, as a lot gets forgotten. There are four chapters left, hopefully they will be done by Thanksgiving.

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Chapter 40

The Blade Biters were scrambling to get out of the way the Grinners pushed through them.

It’d been Hund’s idea to separate the two companies out when the scouts found the Biters, make it seem like the Skullgrins hadn’t defected to the other side. It had worked. News hadn’t traveled quickly enough and the Biter Commander, Richard Folgas, had been more than happy when Hunter offered to ally himself in order to take out the Runners.

“We beat them once, we can do it again,” Folgas roared at his green recruits before the Grinners unsheathed their swords.

Folgas was taken by surprise when he looked down and saw Hunter’s cold blade protruding from his chest.

“From my brother,” Hunter said callously as he pulled his sword free, wiping the bloody remains of the Blade Biter on his rich, velvety cloak.

A Grinner sent up a flaming arrow and the Ridge Runners emerged from the hills and flanked the Biters. There was a special kind of vengeance in their eyes as they swept through their old allies. The Biters had beaten them once at the beginning of the war and it bruised their pride. Now they were returning the favor as they cut through the Biter ranks and smashed through their hasty phalanx.

A lone Biter wind mage proved the most difficult. He sent torrents of wind gushing through the Grinners, gnawing through brittle armor and freezing steel to get at the soft, warm bodies beneath them. The wind he sent was like a sword, cutting off limbs as quickly as he could call it. He walked in a bubble of air currents that brushed aside arrows like playthings, forcing Hunter to get close enough to thrust a spear into the mage’s throat.

Gasping, the mage tried to call one more gale, but his lungs couldn’t get the breath back into him as he slowly died.

In an odd moment of mercy, Hunter finished the mage, leaving the spear embedded in his heart.

Moving quickly through the carnage, he looked for his brother. Hund was standing over Folgas with an odd glint of satisfaction in his eyes.

“You know it won’t work again,” Hunter said, watching a dozen Biters running south towards Onnos.

“I know,” Hund said, savagely kicking Folgas’s corpse. “Just think. If it wasn’t for this bastard this war would have been over six months ago.”

“It could have been the Greencoats or the Yellow Bastards. Well, maybe not the Bastards.” The Yellow Scoundrels, or Yellow Bastards as they were called, were convicted criminals given a choice between fighting the Canines or being executed. They had a history of abandoning their post in the middle of the night and fleeing the Clan.

Hund shook his head, kneeling down beside Folgas. Gently, he crossed the dead man’s arms and closed the eyes that were still baffled. He paid what respects he could in the Beast’s religion, finding a short sword and putting it beside Folgas so he’d have it in the afterlife.

“And don’t think I won’t beat you again next I see you,” Hund said, chuckling. He turned to his brother. “When you bury me, make sure I have a bigger sword.”

“I’d rather you bury me,” Hunter murmured. “With a horn, if you don’t mind. I’ve lost enough Grinners, I’d like to have my army back.”

Hund smiled and didn’t say anything.

Hunter spat on the ground. “We’re a day out from Onnos and we’ve already met two companies.”

“Lovers and Biters,” Hund said with a forlorn look across his face. “I’d half hoped the Black Hearts would join us.”

“Shit happens,” Hunter muttered. “We got information out of it, though. Bluefaces, Lions, and Arrows are all at Onnos ready to defend the council.”

“Yeah,” Hund said, dazed.

Hunter snapped his fingers in his brother’s face. “Get your head back in the game,” he warned.

Hund cast an annoyed glance at him. “You’re one to talk. You settle the business with your girl, yet?”

“No,” Hunter said gruffly. He hadn’t seen much of Tala in the last three days. He’d looked for her every night after their army broke camp, but she was always somewhere else. And there was Kayar Selfa sitting quietly in a corner, his mute eyes watching Hunter’s every move. The one time he did find Tala she’d brushed him off and gone to the one place she knew he wouldn’t follow: the Silent One’s tent.

He hated himself for letting it get to him but he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Even when he buried his sword in Fosgas’s chest she’d been on his mind.

“I talked to her,” Hund said delicately.

Hunter spun on him. “You did what?” he sputtered.

“I talked to her,” Hund repeated carefully. “It didn’t look like you were planning on introducing me to her, so I met her and talked a bit.”

“About?”

“You,” Hund said indifferently. “She likes you, I guess. Not happy with you, but that’s women for you.”

“She say anything?” Hunter asked desperately.

“Not much,” Hund admitted. “I got the feeling that she wasn’t happy with the way things were turning out.”

Hunter grumbled, “Who isn’t?”

“Talk to her.”

“I’ve been trying,” Hunter said, exasperated. “Every time I do I know she’s angry with me and I can’t do anything about it.”

Hund bit his thumb nervously. “I, ah, I convinced her to give you a chance to patch things up.”

Hunter looked hopefully at his brother.

“She said she’d come see you tonight,” Hund offered. “Just be careful about what you say, is all I’m going to say.”

“Yeah,” Hunter said hollowly. “What’d you think of her?”

“She’s beautiful. Nice, smart, I think you’d do well with her.”

Saying nothing, Hunter walked away before Hund could see the doubts written across his face.

---

He sat on his bed, waiting. Hunter’d been waiting for hours. Hund had told him that Tala would meet him in his tent an hour after dusk.

She hadn’t come.

Part of him was torn up by it. Another part was steeling itself for the inevitable. It knew what was coming, hated it, but it would survive. Hunter would survive. At that point, he almost wished she wouldn’t show up. Just so he could have the satisfaction of hating her for not trying.

There was an impatience to it, as well. They were close enough to Onnos that the council could smell them. Everyone was running around, getting prepared, while Hunter sat on his cot. It felt wrong to him.

More wrong than killing Folgas, though that didn’t bother him. It was one of those things he knew he should feel remorse over, some obligation towards the dead that just didn’t strike a nerve in him.

Despite all that, the real world outside his tent, the war, the council, Tala, the Silent One, despite everything Hunter tried to find some of peace with himself, if only for a moment. He was sitting in the eye of the storm, and as soon as he stepped out of it he’d be back in the fray.

He centered himself, focused on the important things in his life.

Tala came in without a sound save the soft swish of her skirt and the sigh of her long dark hair.

Hunter eyed it. “Never seen you in a skirt before. Usually it’s trousers.”

“This was easier,” she murmured.

“To each his own,” Hunter said, skirting the issue. “I imagine a skirt would be more comfortable. Apparently they still the men still wear kilts out in Horse and Rabbit.”

“Strange,” she said, sitting beside him, not looking him in the eye. “How’s your day gone?”

“Well enough,” Hunter said. “Bit of a hassle earlier with the Blade Biters, but they got taken care of.”

“I saw,” Tala said, hugging her knees. “Kayar and I watched from a hilltop.”

Hunter pursed his lips. “How’s he doing?”

“Well enough,” she whispered, wishing she hadn’t brought him up.

“What about, what’s his name…Llewan? Long Hair Llewan the Whore Lover, what’s he up to these days?”

“He’s been drinking a lot recently,” she said, her brown eyes glancing at his hands clenched at his sides.

“I might have to join him later,” Hunter said tensely. He didn’t know what else to say. He’d tried to keep to small talk, but he didn’t think he could live with himself if he didn’t ask. “So do you love him? Kayar?”

Tala bowed her head. “It’s complicated,” she said delicately.

Hunter turned to face her. “What about me? Do you love me?”

She hesitated. “I do, but…”

“Was it the lie?” he asked. “Was that it? I killed the Smiler. I’d do it a thousand more times if I could and I’m not going to regret it.”

“It wasn’t the lie,” she said firmly. “It’s more…it was a wrong time to get into this with you. When I first met you, when I first kissed you, it was euphoric. It was an emotional high so good I convinced myself I had to be in love with you, because it wouldn’t feel so good otherwise And then, after that, the next day, it felt like it was fading away.”

“So you stayed around for my benefit?” Hunter asked, trying to keep his voice from breaking.

She didn’t say anything for a moment, just sitting there.

Hunter pulled out a cigarette and put it in his mouth. He should have lit it but she didn’t. He knew she didn’t like him smoking, and it kept him from doing it when she was there.

“What are you thinking?” she asked.

He shook his head. “You lost your right to ask me that.” He pulled the cigarette from his lips and put it back in its pack. “I got a question, though. Why’d you stay with me if you didn’t love me?”

“I do love you,” she said tenderly. “It’s just the wrong time for it. I see you sitting there so quietly, the thoughts whirling in your head, I see how much you love your brother, what you sacrificed for him, and I just want to hold you.”

Hunter gave a short bark of laughter. “I think you might be looking at the wrong person, but then again, I might have done the same thing to you. We looked at each other and saw lambs, not tigers hiding in the grass.”

She was quiet again. He wished she would talk. Wished she would say something and make everything else go away. When she did, he wished she hadn’t.

“I could be the person you want me to be,” she said pitifully. “I could be the person you love, I could change myself to make you happy, but it wouldn’t last. I’ve tried it before and it always hurt in the end. Maybe its better to end it now before it gets any harder.

Hunter bit his lip. “If there was a choice…between him and me…who would you choose?”

Silent tears ran down Tala’s face. “I don’t know,” she said gently. “Maybe I can tell you one day.”

Clenching his fist, Hunter rose from his bed and stormed out of his tent, leaving her alone. Leaving himself alone in a sea of people.

He walked for hours, cursing himself for letting her get to him. He hadn’t wanted that. When he met Tala in Smith he’d just needed a good lay and found himself wanted more. Part of himself was wondering if he’d even loved her. Maybe he’d taken all the frustration in his life and turned it into something else. Turned anguish into love and targeted it at the first person he’d been tender with.

It wasn’t an easy thing for Hunter to do, tenderness. Turning harsh hands in soft caresses. He lit a cigarette, trying to burn the sweet smell of her hair our of his memory till all that was left was smoke. The substance of his love for her.

Quick, fleeting.

Ethereal.

Something he couldn’t hold on to no matter how hard he grasped.

He tried, he told himself. He tried and she wouldn’t try back.

The lie. The damn lie. Was it the cause or the casualty? He tore himself up thinking about it. If he’d just been honest with her maybe it could have been avoided, he wasn’t even sure why he said it.

Hunter loved her, and hadn’t even told her that at the end.

He sat down in a quiet corner, billows of smoke pouring out his mouth as eyes filled with tears. He hadn’t told her the truth when he had the chance and then he’d missed it again.

Urgently he rose to his feet. She’d be in the Saber Rank grouping. Hunter wasn’t sure why the Ranks were still with the Grinners, but she’d be there.

The world around him moved in a blur while he stood still, passing around while he was silent spectator. It was forcing him forward, then backwards. It couldn’t make up its mind about where it wanted him to go, but he found himself among the Saber Ranks soon enough.

There was Llewan Caldwell cradling his whiskey and another Rank man he recognized sharpening a long skinning knife with a black pommel.

Hunter made his way towards Llewan, better a drunk mute than a stranger. “Where’s Tala?” he demanded.

Llewan struggled to his feet, swooning in spot while he kept his fingers tight around the neck of the bottle, strangling every last drop out of it into his empty mouth.

Hunter slapped it away, hearing the heavy thunk of glass on the ground. “Where’s Tala?” he demanded again.

The mute looked bewildered, not sure how to answer.

Furious, Hunter turned to the stringy man sharpening his knife. “What’s your name?”

The Saber Rank gave Hunter a look and went back to sharpening his knife.

Struggling to control his rage, Hunter picked up Llewan’s discarded bottle and hurled it into the fire. “Where is she?” he barked.

The man rose to his feet without making a sound. “Who?” he hissed, his voice cracked as if it hadn’t been used in a long time.

“Tala Zul,” Hunter seethed. “I need to talk to her.”

“Hit her?” the man asked huskily.

“Talk,” Hunter said firmly.

The man ran his tongue across his lips and smiled sourly. “She’s in the Shaef’s tent.”

Hunter turned toward the master tent. In the far corner of his mind he realized he still had the burnt cigarette clenched in his fingers, but he kept moving towards the Silent One’s domain.

Normally he stayed back from the place. Even before when he’d been desperate to see Tala he hadn’t dared look for her there.

He knew what she was doing. He wished he could do the same thing. Find solace in someone else’s arms, take away all the pain and sorrow and replace it with something physical.

Hunter didn’t care about the physical, though. He just wanted to say three little words to Tala and walk away. He could live with himself after he said those words, but he needed to say them.

He burst through the tent, the firelight shedding illumination on a scene he wished he could forget.

There was Kayar the Silent One in all his faceless glory. The white mask on his face, catching the flames in alien shapes and patterns. The Smiler’s knife on his belt, the black pommel sucking in all life around it, leaving the atmosphere cold and dead despite the luxury the Rito Shaef traveled in.

Kayar turned to see Hunter, surprise evident in his faceless face. The mask wasn’t white anymore. Flecks of red were sprayed across in an even fashion. The fur cloak on his back was damp and clumped in places where he’d wiped his giddy knife, and the stench of death had already filled the room.

And there was Tala, as beautiful as she’d ever been, even with her face marred by the Smiler’s blade. Hunter was thankful the firelight didn’t touch her face, he wasn’t sure he could stand seeing that.

Hunter stared numbly at the scene while his mind’s eye played it out for him. Tala coming to Selfa for a shoulder to cry on, and a Rito Shaef doing what a Rito Shaef does best. Maybe there was a reason behind it. Maybe Selfa did it just to spite Hunter’s love for her. Maybe he did it just because he could.

It didn’t matter to Hunter. He stood there in a horrible trance as the Silent stepped by him, his blood soaked coat passing by Hunter’s hands, leaving a line matted mess of Tala’s blood across his palm.

In the space of second, Hunter snapped.

With an angry roar and threw himself out of the Silent One’s tent and onto the Rito Shaef. He could feel Selfa moving beneath him but he didn’t care. The Silent One might kill him, but Hunter didn’t care.

Berserk, his fist smashed into the ugly, bloody mask, sending cracks along the nose until a glimmer of pale flesh could be seen. He grabbed the Rito Shaef by his long, bound hair and noosed it around his neck, pulling tight.

Selfa struggled, his hands searching for purchase, beating against Hunter’s chest in disbelief. Slowly, painfully, he forced Hunter’s hands away from his throat and pushed him back. He scrambled to his feet while Hunter charged again.

The knife was there, Shase’s knife. The Silent One could reach it at any time, but his hands didn’t touch it. A part Hunter’s mind stopped and wondered why while the other parts pummeled Selfa’s chest, the sharp snap of breaking bones filling the air.

Dimly, Hunter became aware he had an audience. The Saber Ranks were filing around him in a tight circle, not moving forward but simply watching. They didn’t want to interfere, they just had to watch. The same with the Wolf and Ryne, they couldn’t stop it but they couldn’t turn away, either. Maybe they didn’t want to stop it. Maybe they wanted to see the proud man fall down.

Hunter didn’t care. He only cared about Tala’s body lying in the dark tent, immobile till the end of time.

“I loved her,” he yelled in the Silent One’s face. “That’s what I came here to say and you wouldn’t let me!” He punched the mask again, white shards flying out like glass leaving traces of white skin that looked like it’d never seen the light of day behind.

Roughly, Hunter reached along the Silent One’s side and grabbed the Smiler’s knife and did Selfa the dignity he wouldn’t have allowed Shase when he stabbed the blade into Selfa’s chest.

Sated, Hunter sat down beside the Rito Shaef while his heavy breaths turned to short gasps, trying to take in enough life to keep himself alive.

“I thought you did, too,” Hunter said, tears running down his face. “That’s why I thought she’d be safe, because you wouldn’t let anything happen to her.” He forced himself to look at the mask.

“You ugly bastard,” he whispered, shaking his head. “Why couldn’t you love her?”

His hands were shaking as they moved without him thinking. The part of his mind that noticed the knife was playing its part. It reached around behind Selfa’s head and undid the black band that held the mask in place.

Slowly, carefully, Hunter pulled the mask away and broke his heart.

Tala stared back at him, her eyes glazed over like glass and her beating heart stilled.