A/N I discovered this piece in my journal and can’t recall ever posting it on FP (so correct me if I’m wrong). This is based off of a dream I had in April 2007.

"Elle..." his voice came out slightly muffled; his face pressed against my hair. I felt myself sigh as the familiar childhood name of 'little Elle' faded from his vocabulary.

'Maybe this time,' I thought. 'O please let it be this time.'

He pulled back slightly to look at me; his intense eyes studying me intently. There was a flicker of recognition there. A deepened understanding of what we were, of what we are.

'He's beginning to remember.' The embrace tightened again and I didn't hesitate to lean my face against his chest. I closed my eyes as I felt his fingers moving gently on my back as he rediscovered what he wanted to be his. I could feel his heart thunder against his chest as memory upon memory began to filter into his mind. Memories of us as children, our youth-filled pact, our deepening exchanges in college, the kiss...

He was confused, I know. It would only be natural to be so as this invasion of memory trampled over what you thought you knew. But I needed him to look beyond his reactions and instead to the conclusions that were slowly clicking into his mind. He was discovering what used to be and what it had built up to, but that was not enough. I needed him to realise what it all meant. And he was beginning to as I heard him murmur my name again – this time with more than the taint of surprise within it.

'Please...'

My throat tightened as I hoped that this could be it. That this would be the time that we could break through this terrible cycle that has kept us caged for these past few years. My heart felt it could burst for all the love I had to give to him; for all the love that I knew he would've returned otherwise, but never did.

'Please...'

I felt the last realisation slide into place as he tucked my head underneath his chin. The moment I had been hoped for and dreaded had finally arrived. I felt the slight tremor within him and subconsciously bit my lip.

Then we were falling.

I landed on the ground with a sharp, surprised release of breath. I found myself completely removed from my previous state of warmth and protection as our embrace broke on landing like glass maliciously thrown to the floor. And then it was my turn to remember the many times this had happened before.

'No, no... It couldn't be. Maybe this time it was different. Maybe we got pushed over, or ... Or maybe he had just lost his balance. Yes, that has to be the reason.'

And yet one look at him shattered all pretension. There he lay; my strong hero, my brave knight, my dearest friend, my love... There he lay on his side. Motionless. I scrambled towards him, as I've done so many times before, my throat too constricted to let out the sob burning within my chest. My vision blurred as I reached him and turned him onto his back.

'No, no. Please, not again! No! NO!'

And yet there he lay beneath me, deathly still as if someone had thrown his life's switch. I tried to calm myself; knowing that the cycle of time would begin again soon. I softly placed my left hand on one of his broad shoulders and bent down. His forehead was cold beneath my lips and the cracks in my heart deepened.

'Oh my darling, I wish this curse would end. I wish we could've broken it this time. But maybe... Maybe next time you'll know how much I love-'

His eyes snapped open with his first quick draw of breath. I sat back as I watched his gaze dart side-to-side. He pushed himself up into a sitting position - his face mere inches from mine. And yet he did not notice me at all as he looked all around him for the reason why he was lying on the ground. The ground received one last accusatory glance before his eyes finally met mine.

They sparkled with that goofy amusement he always had and a lopsided grin formed on his lips.

"Little Elle!" he said a little too loudly for our proximity.

And I felt the crack become a break.