ASTRONAUT

WIFE

NASA1

NASA2

MICHAEL MIETLICKI

ASTRONAUT and WIFE stand against the wall with a blanket drawn up to their chins.

ASTRONAUT: yawn Oh what a night! ...I feel... different.

WIFE: Different like how?

ASTRONAUT: I don’t know... just... Wait a minute... I’m a grown-up!

WIFE: Yes, dear, you’re 35, you’re a big boy now.

ASTRONAUT: No, I mean... I grew up! I’m a grownup today! I’m finally a grownup!

WIFE: So?

ASTRONAUT: So, when I was a kid, I always said I was going to be an astronaut when I grew up!

WIFE: Oh dear, that means your life as an grocery store manager, happily married with an eight-year-old son must just seem like a terrible failure, is that it?

ASTRONAUT: No... It means I’m an astronaut now!

Scene change. Two NASA clerks chatting.

NASA1: Maybe if we find a really short guy and a really tall guy, we can get the tall guy to throw the short guy to Mars.

NASA2: That could work, and it’d be cheap.

ASTRONAUT enters.

ASTRONAUT: Good morning, gentlemen.

NASA1: Sir, you can’t be here, this is a restricted area. Only authorized personnel are allowed past.

ASTRONAUT: Oh but I’m an astronaut!

NASA2: Is that so? How come we’ve never seen you around here before?

ASTRONAUT: Oh, I just became a grownup today. You see, when I was a kid, I always said I was going to be an astronaut when I grew up. So now that I’m a grown up, here I am!

Awkward pause.

NASA1: Sorry, sir.

NASA2: Right this way, sir.

NASA1: Launch is in fifteen minutes, sir.

Scene change. Michael Mietlicki is standing against the wall with a blanket up to his chin.

MICHAEL MIETLICKI: yawn Hey! I finally grew up! I’m Michael Mietlicki!