Years of Torture, diary of an imperfect childhood, a General fanfic

When I first started reading Tom’s diary entries, I didn’t entirely believe them. After all, I do remember him having a very imaginative mind and a large portion of my brain was convinced that his words were fictional. My memories of these first few entries are weak, as I wasn’t fully aware of things going on at the time. Anyway, here’s Tom’s second entry into his diary:

Dad’s angry again. I think its cause of what happened with the toaster. Ok, I’ll esplain.

Last week mum got me a book to read. She said it would keep me out of trouble and give me something to do around the house. Keep me out of dad’s way, was what she said, but you mustn’t tell dad that.

It’s called Harry Potter’s Phosforos Stone or something. I’ve finished reading it now. If you haven’t got it, I’ll try to esplain the story. A boy called Harry can do magic and there’s loads of people like him. Wizard. That’s what he is. Anyway, he’s special, cause he’s got a lighting scar on his fourhead. It’s from an evil curse from someone who you’re not supposed to say the name of. So he goes to a special school called Hogwarts, with Ron and Hermony. But Quill (He’s the Fence of Dark Arts teacher) has got the one we’re not allowed to say the name of in the back of his head, and he’s looking for this phosforos stone so he be all vinsibl. Harry stops them from doing it though, and Dumbiedoor’s happy with him for that. He’s the headmaster, by the way.

Apologies here for the general bad spelling of my brother, but in his defence he was eight at this point. But I do think he summed up the story fairly well for a small child.

I liked it a lot, and mum says the second one’s coming out soon. She says if I keep out of dad’s way and I’m on my bestest behavor, then she’ll buy it me. So I’m trying to be all well behaved now.

Anyway, when I hadn’t finished it last week, I was at a really good part when dinned was called. So I took the book down to dinner and was reading it when I should’ve been eating. Dad told me to put down the silly book and eat my fish and chips. I was just gonna put down the book when he put my food in the bin, and said if I don’t appresseight my meals then I could cook for myself for a week.

Mum said this was a bit mean, cause I don’t know how to use the cooker. But dad said it was my fault for reading when I should’ve been eating, and mum didn’t argue. Her lip is not swolled up anymore by the way - she said she’s not gonna try that look again.

So the day after that, which was Thursday, I had to cook for myself. I made a boiled egg with soldiers, but mum told me what to do with the boiled egg so that I didn’t make it boil too hard. It was nice, but not as good as when mum cooks. When mum cooks it she melts the butter just right, but I couldn’t get it to work. Some of it was nice and melted, but the other bits weren’t melted and weren’t as nice. Dad said that was tough luck and I’d have to just learn for myself.

On Friday mum told me how the cooker works and I made some fish finger sandwiches, with loads of tomato ketchup. It was really scrummy and mum said she was proud of how I was learning to cook food so well. I think its cause I watch so much Ready Steady Cook. I’d like to be on there when I’m older. I think I might wanna be a chef.

I do remember Tom being quite a good cook: in fact, I think I lived off of his fish finger sandwiches for a large portion of my childhood.

But I sorta messed up on Saturday. Dad said that I’d got the hang of cooking now, so he told mum not to give me any help. I thought I’d make some cheese on toast for me and John, cause mum and dad were going out for dinner, and they said they didn’t have time to cook for John.

I didn’t mind, and so when mum and dad were getting ready for dinner, I put the cheese and toast in the toaster to cook. Aparently that’s not how it works, and the toaster kinda caught on fire.

The firemen came, and they were all nice about it, but they said maybe an eight year old shouldn’t do the cooking. Dad said that if they didn’t want their noses broken they shouldn’t be telling him how to rise his kids. The firemen didn’t look happy with dad after then, and I think they left quite soon after that.

Dad says that the money to redo the kitchen is gonna come out of my savings fund. Mum said that was too harsh and that I’d made a onest mistake. Dad was gonna break mum’s nose too, but she said she’s changed her mind now and that the money could come from my savings after all. I don’t mind. I didn’t want to go to unversty anyway.

I do vaguely recall the kitchen being redecorated when I was young - originally it was a hideous shade of green, but it turned to a slightly less ghastly brown.

So now mum says I can’t have the new Harry Potter when it comes out. Not right away. But maybe if I’m a good boy then she’ll let me have it.

Dad says that I’m not allowed to use the toaster anymore, and that I should keep an eye on what’s cooking, instead of reading a silly book. I don’t think it’s a silly book though. I liked it a lot. And I’m gonna stay out of trubble now so that mum buys me the next book.

AN: Sorry it took so long to update, and personally I don't reckon this has as much impact as the first, but I'd love to hear your views on it (Hint hint)