Chapter Four: Practice

The alarm was blaring like a fog horn in her ear. Charlotte groaned and pressed her pillow over her head. She could still hear the alarm clock and it was somehow even more annoying muffled. Still hiding under the covers, she pawed blindly for the clock, smacking her palm down on what she was sure was the snooze button.

The noise finally stopped. Charlotte stuck her head out, blowing untidy hair out of her face and squinting so the red lines would transfer into a time. When they finally did, her eyes widened.

And then she started screaming.

She jumped out of bed, throwing her pajamas off and pulling on an outfit in the same haste. Hurry up! Hurry up! she kept yelling at herself, tugging a brush through her hair. You’re going to be late!

It was all Kassi’s fault. All her talk of supernatural powers and saying her house was haunted kept Charlotte up all night and now she was going to be late for school because of it.

She threw on her backpack and jacket and ran out of her room, pausing for a second to check herself in the mirror. Her shoes were barely on before she was out of the house and sprinting down the street. There was a stupid decision on her part when she ran blindly through an intersection and shrieked when a car halted in front of her. But she didn’t have to stop and apologize, she had to get to school!

By the time she reached the school, she was gasping for air but she wasn’t at her destination quite yet. She skidded around a corner, her shoes squeaking loudly and echoing in the hall. She saw the classroom door was closed and lunged for the doorknob. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn like she’d planned and she smacked right into the door. Holding her nose and repeating “Ow” quietly—which, weirdly enough, lessened the pain—she slipped into the classroom, sneaking around the back and collapsing into her chair.

Kal was watching her. All he asked was “How come you have only one sleeve of your jacket on?”

Charlotte was sucking in great gulps of air and was not in the mood to explain her dash to school. In between gasps, she questioned, “Am— am I late?”

“No, Ms. MacDonald isn’t here yet.”

Charlotte slumped in her seat, letting her weariness catch up and waiting for her lungs to warm. Never, ever, was she going to run in cold weather.

Ever!

She had arrived just in time. Ms. MacDonald swept into the room with a cheery hello and started reading out attendance. Charlotte had a feeling other teachers had reminded her that morning, since she usually forgot.

There was a mix of responses when names were called out: people saying “Present”, one yelled “Gift”, and the usual raise of the hand. But when the name Seth was said, there was only silence. Ms. MacDonald looked up from her list and around the room. She said again, “Seth Greene?”

The door suddenly opened and everybody turned towards the commotion. Charlotte saw Kal’s other friend slide in, stopping abruptly when he saw everyone staring at him. He was out of breath and his hair was messier than usual, but he was laid-back as ever when he said to the class, “Hey, how you doing?”

“This is your third late,” Ms. MacDonald warned.

“Sorry. I had a dream last night that the school blew up so I didn’t think I had to come.”

There were a few scattered laughs as Seth made his way to his seat. Kassi could be heard joking with him, calling him and idiot, but Charlotte didn’t bother to listen. People that didn’t take anything seriously annoyed her. And Seth never seemed to make a serious comment. It was always stupid joke after stupid joke. She did feel a bit bad for thinking so when she’d never met him, but that first impression stuck to her.

She should have known Kal would want to introduce them. Maybe she did know, because when he suggested it—much more discreetly than last time, more so passively hinting at it—she didn’t put up a fight. As she saw it, why bother? She’d already dealt with Kassi loathing her for a week. Nothing could be worse than that.

It was much warmer at lunch than it had been that morning, so Kal led her outside and to the side of the building where his friends were waiting. Charlotte would have rathered to sit inside instead of on the ground but she kept her opinion to herself.

Kal’s friends waved him over long before he reached them, but Charlotte didn’t get much acknowledgement until she was standing right beside them. Kassi barely glanced over at her before steering Kal to her side to sit down. Seth asked, in his carefree way, “Hey, who’re you?”

Once again, Kal answered for her. “This is Charlotte.” She would have to tell him later that she was able to answer that question for herself.

Seth took her hand and shook it, even though she hadn’t offered it to him. “Right, you’re the new girl that squished Kal on your first day here.”

Charlotte groaned. She’d almost forgotten about that. She sat down cross-legged, away from the wall and the wet tufts of grass, with her head bent low.

Seth saw her embarrassment and allegedly decided it would be a good idea to continue talking about it. “You don’t have to look like you’re best friend died. I thought it was pretty funny.”

Charlotte pressed her lips together to stop herself from saying “Well, isn’t that good for you.” She could think whatever she wanted in her head, but voicing those thoughts was, to her, just plain mean.

Luckily, all attention on her was diverted when Kassi exclaimed, “You don’t have anything to eat again?”

This was directed at Kal, who responded, “I can’t help it if I forget in the morning.”

Kassi turned her head away, though the sing-song “Anorexic” was clearly meant for him.

“I am not anorexic! And you shouldn’t joke about that. What if someone we knew actually had that problem?”

Seth joined the fray, commenting, “Good point. It’s not nice to joke about serious topics. Besides, the word you’re looking for is ‘amnesiac’. That’s what you say when talking to someone that can’t remember anything.”

Kal was quick to look the other way, but Charlotte still saw the expression he was trying to hide. Heart pounding fast with anger at Seth, she shouted, “That’s not funny.” Well, she wanted to shout, but the words stuck in her throat and were croaked out, sounding less than intimidating.

Surprisingly enough, Seth didn’t make fun of her. Instead, he shrugged. “You’re right.” He beckoned to Kal, “Come here for a sec,” and pushed Kassi’s shoulder, “Shove over and make some room.”

Kal and Kassi exchanged confused looks but did as they were told. Once they’d switched places, Seth put his arm around Kal’s shoulders and said, “Listen, you’re here right now, right?”

“Yes.”

“And you can still think, right?”

Kal nodded.

“Then what are you worrying about? The past is over and done with, and you’re only wasting now to angst about it.”

Kal’s face showed he was trying to believe that but couldn’t. He argued, “But don’t you wonder about what happened?”

“I just finished telling you the past isn’t important. Of course I don’t care. It doesn’t matter what you can or can’t remember.”

Kal lowered his chin, his mouth forming into that childish pout he sometimes had. “I’d still like to know.” A moment passed where no one talked. Kal lifted his head and asked, “What’s it like? To remember something?”

This question left all three of his friends at a loss for words. After some thought, Kassi explained as best she could, “It’s not like you’re really aware of what you’re doing. It’s not much different from thinking, except you know what you’re thinking about already happened.”

Charlotte, in an attempt to cheer him up, pointed out, “And it’s not like you can’t remember anything. You must be able to remember some stuff. You told me about your first memory.”

Kal twitched like he felt pain. He shook his head, staring hard at the ground. So much for cheering him up.

Kassi gave Charlotte a look that informed her too late We don’t bring that up. To Kal, she said while gently rubbing his arm, “You don’t need to worry about all that. We’ll find a way to get you back to normal.”

“I still say we don’t do anything.” Seth gave Kal a rough, one-armed hug, joking, “Nothing wrong with the way you are now. I like my friends annoying as hell.”

Charlotte still stood by her opinion that Seth was a jerk. But she could see now that he was also the best kind of friend.

When lunch ended and everyone was going their separate ways to classes, Kassi pulled Charlotte aside and whispered in her ear, “Make sure you can come to my house after school.”

Nervousness gripped Charlotte’s stomach as she asked, “Why?”

Kassi’s answer consisted of one word. “Practice.”

I started to think about this remembering thing. What if I could remember something before the hospital and I simply hadn’t tried hard enough?

This ‘what-if?’ followed me around all day, nagging me, but I could do nothing about it until school was over. When it finally was, I went to find an empty hallway with a bench. I couldn’t have any distractions. No sounds, no sights, not even my own thoughts.

It was harder than I expected. If I concentrated too much on an image, it disappeared. If I didn’t concentrate enough, there was no image.

The frustration almost made me stop but something stronger kept me there. I’m not sure what it was exactly, but I know it felt like a desperate need. The need to belong, I suppose.

Whenever I felt like giving up, I focused on my breathing, taking deep, calm breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. In and out.

It was then that an image came, so clear and detailed, and I put every bit energy I had into grasping it before it skirted away.

The image did not stay long but I can still remember: a drawing of a girl with hair tied back, surrounded by farm animals. They were all looking at something, but the picture was gone before I could see what.

I’d expected to feel—Well, I don’t know what I was expecting. To be honest, I’d wanted my one memory to have answers. More than anything I’d wanted to finally give Nick some good news in his life, to explain to him how I’d come to be like this. But I had nothing. Nothing but an incomplete drawing.

I may not know what I expected to feel but the emotion that did hit me was disappointment, so heavy that I swear I could feel its weight on me.

I heard my name being called. It was enough to bring me out of my thoughts and I lifted my head to see Seth running down the hall. He all but dropped in front of me, asking, in more words than this, “Are you okay?”

The disappointment wasn’t letting go easily. I could still feel it around me and the heaviness made it difficult to nod my head. When relief replaced his tension, I had to force the words out to ask “Why are you so worried?”

That was one thing I always liked about Seth. He always pretended he didn’t care but I knew better. He worried more than anyone else.

He stood, saying, “For a second, it looked like you were in pain or something.” I shook my head though, for some reason, that only prompted him to ask, “You weren’t actually, were you?”

“No.” I told him, “I was trying to remember.”

He attempted to hide his surprise but I could still see it. “Did you get anything?”

I thought of the useless picture and the disappointment was back. I answered him honestly, “Nothing.”

Seth was different than me. He didn’t let disappointment grab onto him, all he had to do was shrug it off. He picked his bag up from the floor, having dropped it earlier, and then pulled me from the bench. At the time, I would have rathered to stay there for the rest of the day, but now I’m glad he didn’t leave me.

He draped his arm over my shoulders and said, “I don’t see why it bothers you so much. You’re fine the way you are now.”

I didn’t have any response to that. I noticed his arm on my shoulder felt so much lighter than the previous weight that had been there.

There must have been something he saw in my face because what he said next went against what he’d told me all along. “You’ll remember something eventually.” There was hope in his voice and I wanted so badly to believe him.

But what if, when I did remember, I wasn’t happy with what I saw? Nothing may be, well, nothing, but at least it can’t get any worse.

Charlotte followed Kassi in to one of the many buses parked outside. The other girl chose a seat near the middle, explaining that little kids sat at the front and only annoying people sat in the back.

Charlotte sat stiffly for the entire ride, strangling the straps of her bag. It wasn’t so much the fact she was going to someone else’s house—she’d spent plenty of time at Lauren and Rylee’s homes—it was the fact it was someone new. She didn’t know what would be expected of her or what was considered proper. Did she address Kassi’s parents by their names or call them Mr. And Mrs. Graves?

And, most importantly, why was she even going to Kassi’s house? She hadn’t been told yet and had been too afraid to say no. Kassi hadn’t made it seem like denying was a choice.

When their stop came up, Kassi gave her a boot-tap to the shins and Charlotte practically jumped out of the seat. She was on the sidewalk for maybe a second, looking at the house, before Kassi was dragging her through the front door. They didn’t slow as she called, “Hi, Mom, me and a friend are going upstairs to do homework, I’ll see you at supper,” and then Charlotte was pulled up the stairs without even the glimpse of another person.

Kassi’s room was rather ordinary: pale wallpaper, a couple of dressers, a bed to one side. But here and there were cartoon stickers left over from childhood days.

Kassi dropped her bag onto her bed and sat beside it. She said, “Let’s get right down to business. Have you been thinking lately of what your sixth sense might be?”

Of course it would be that. Charlotte set her own backpack on the floor, thinking For a girl with a weird secret, she’s not too secretive about it. Out loud, she said, “My parents are always saying that I can practically read their minds. Is that good enough?”

Kassi nonchalantly crossed her arms. She murmured, “Telepathy... Yes, that might work.” She looked at Charlotte directly. “’Kay, so I’ll think of something and you have to tell me what it is.”

“But how do I do that?”

“How am I supposed to know? You’re the mind reader, allegedly. Just try.”

Charlotte did try. For five long minutes she tried and she didn’t get anywhere. The only words that came to her mind were her own, and they were usually This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Whoever heard of people being able to read minds anyway? This is just ridiculous.

She sighed loudly. “Can we stop now?”

“No, we have to figure out if you can do this or not.”

“I think we can say I can’t because I can’t.”

But Kassi wasn’t giving up so easily. “You must not be trying hard enough. You have to focus. Don’t think about anything else.”

Charlotte felt like storming out of the house right there but annoyance made her stay. She would prove Kassi wrong one way or another. (She wasn’t sure which way was wrong, but that mattered little to her right now.)

She closed her eyes tight and did what she was told—focus. At first, she concentrated on only the black void that was now her sight. Then she started thinking. Focus. Only thoughts exist right now, nothing else. Only thoughts.

Just when she felt she was calm enough to try, she heard Kassi’s snarky voice tell her “Today please.” The little bit of remaining patience had disappeared and she snapped, “This is harder than it looks! I don’t see you attempting to do something that isn’t even real, and you don’t even know how to mind-read so it’s not like you know more than I do.” She stopped to breathe and saw Kassi staring at her with big eyes and an unhinged jaw. “What?”

Kassi only shook her head slowly. When Charlotte demanded “What?” again, she murmured, “I didn’t say anything.”

It took some time for Charlotte to figure out what this meant. When it finally sank in, her irritation dissolved and the whole world seemed to grow bigger as her eyes widened.

The shock did not last long before Charlotte jumped up with a loud cheer, hands punching the air above her. She hopped around excitedly, squealing, “I did it! I actually did it! Oh, my God, this is amazing! This could change my entire lif—”

“Will you shut up?” Kassi finally pushed her surprise away and slapped her hand over Charlotte’s mouth. She said in a harsh whisper, “Are you in the mood to explain to my parents what that was all about? Because I certainly am not.”

Charlotte brushed Kassi’s hand away. “So what? We just tell we were doing homework. Problem solved.” She felt so giddy that she didn’t care about anyone or anything else. Most likely she would start going into doubtful panic later, but that was later. Now was too extraordinary to waste.

Kassi rolled her eyes at the response, muttering, “Whatever.” She sat on her bed. “We may as well start on homework and get something productive done.”

Sitting on the floor, Charlotte said smugly, “Easy, I’ll just read the answers right out of your head.

After a good few minutes of being stared at, Kassi brought her head up. “You can’t do it, can you?”

“This is hard!”

Not long afterward, Kassi was called down to supper and Charlotte, going downstairs as well, was finally introduced to the parents. They were both very nice, Kassi’s father especially, but she couldn’t help but notice neither one of them was blond. She was almost certain that the girl dyed her hair, though she couldn’t be sure. After all, her own parents lacked her red hair.

Kassi’s mother offered to drive her home and Charlotte hesitantly agreed. In the car, she mumbled, “Thank you very much.”

“It’s no trouble. How else would you get home?”

Charlotte said an absent “Yeah.” She pointed out her street, and a realization suddenly hit her that here was a person who might know more about “the incident.” She asked, trying to sound like it was an innocent question, “You know Kal, right?”

“Yes, he’s one of Kassi’s best friends. He’s a very sweet boy.” There was a soft sigh. “Such a shame what happened to him.”

Sitting back, Charlotte made a noise of agreement. She didn’t bother asking anything else. It was a sad truth that parents only knew one half of their child’s life.

She thanked Kassi’s mother again when she was dropped off. Walking into the house and kicking off her shoes, she called out “I’m home.”

She heard her father call back, “I heard you, you don’t need to yell.”

Charlotte walked into the kitchen and saw her father sitting at the table with a pile of papers in front of him. She asked, “What are you doing?”

“Home work. Don’t think it ends when school is over.” He typed a number into a calculator and wrote it down. He glanced up to Charlotte before asking “How was your evening?”

“Good. I got lots of homework done.” And found out I can read minds, but that’s a bit too complicated to explain right now so I’ll just keep it a secret. “It’s nice to hang out at a friend’s place again.”

Her father nodded while still writing down numbers. “Good to know you’re happy. I swear, your mother must have thought you would fall into depression the way she kept worrying about you.”

Charlotte thought of the past few weeks—the friends she had, the secret she was a part of—and replied, “I am happy.”

A/N: Any constructive crit would be greatly appreciated. I do mean that, too. I’m not one of those people that asks for con-crit and then assumes anything less than praise is flaming. If you notice any spelling/grammar mistakes or clunky sentences please point them out to me.

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