Speaking with the Voices

Note: This is very self-indulgant. It is, basically, a conversation between me and a few of my characters. That said, I will probably post some more in the future as additional chapters. Oh, yes, I do love to torture! But hey, you're the one choosing to read it.

--

/bring, bring/
/click/

conference call with the reluctant slacker hippies.

1: "Charlie Clark, Wisconsin."

2: "Lucas Welles. You're too lazy to name my town. Seriously, do you realize how awkward that makes my life? Oh, I live noplace, ma'am, because the wise one hasn't christened it, yet."

Charlie: "Not now, Lucas, there are more important things to discuss."

Lucas: "Sorry, Charlie."

Me: "Wait a minute! Hold on, here! Charlie, you're talking way too much and sensibly, and Lucas -- well, you sound like Gary, what's up with that? Show some respect."

Lucas: "Not my fault, Joy...Gary's too big a jerk to help you here, but you find him more interesting than me, so you're crossing wires. I'm the bland, nice one, remember?"

Me: "Oh, I'm sorry. No, really, I like you, I...well, Charlie?"

Charlie: "Well, I need to speak my mind, don't I? We never talk anymore. You decided a preppy snob was more interesting."

Me: "Oh...oh, please, guys, back in character, huh?!"

/click/
/click/
(dial tone...)

Me: "Wait, what just happened, here?"

(mindless pacing -- won't they call back?)

/bring, bri--/

Me: "Hello!"

3: "Hi. Listen, we need to talk."

Me: "Gary?"

Gary: "So Luke comes up to me and he's all on about the town name again, and do we live in the same town, and how much Lucas Wells sounds like Marcus Welby, so I told him to shut the hell up and leave you alone. God, he's annoying, asking me how I am, caring and shit..."

Me: "Wait, why are you being the nice one? I thought Lucas would understand, I figured he'd be the voice of reason here."

Gary: "Yeah, but remember, I'm the one in denial, I've given up, I don't care what happens to me. Lucas is the one looking out for his own well-being, I don't care anymore, Joy. See? We have a lot in common."

Me: "Well, I...wait, what?! I haven't given up! We don't have anything in common, c'mon!"

Gary: "Denial, denial, denial. Listen, what do you think is wrong with me?"

Me: "No! No, see, I'm Lucas, I'm the dull quasi-hippie with no direction, you're...you're the misguided egotist, that's not me, Gary."

Gary: "Repeat: what do you think is wrong with me?"

Me: "I...I don't...I don't know."

Gary: "Uhm, duh, you sorta do, Miss Creator-of-the-Universe."

/sigh/

Me: "Okay, okay, fair enough. Well...you feel trapped by memories and compensate through unhealthy --"

Gary: "Check."

Me: "What?"

Gary: "Oh, nothing, just keeping track of our similarities, go on."

Me: "But no! You compensate by acting out and hurting yourself and those around you. I...well, I just don't do much of anything."

Gary: "Same thing! Extrovert, introvert, la-de-dah. Next?"

Me: "But..."

Gary: "Next?"

Me: "You...you uh..."

Gary: "Eh-hem!"

Me: "Don't rush me, geez! Well, you have trouble believing anyone could love you or even care about you. I mean, this great girl really wants to be with you, but you just deny her and leave her confused. You're only hurting yourself by not letting--"

Gary: "Hey now, who's the therapist here?"

Me: "You're not a therapist!! And I didn't even ask you to call me!!"

Gary: "Actually you did, but let's not squabble. You were saying about the love/care wall of crazy no good feelings?"

Me: "You...you're scared of letting her love you, you think she'll end up causing you pain, or...or the other way around..."

Gary: "Check!"

Me: "No! But!"

Gary: "Live with it, babe."

Me: "Jerkoff!"

Gary: "Wimp!"

Me: "Stupid...little...oh, I hate you so much!"

Gary: "Self-hating masochist, got it. Next?"

Me: "This is a waste of time."

Gary: "Not much I can do about that, it's really more a problem of you moving this pen, is it not? I don't know, so far we're making so little progress, what do you think?"

Me: "I think you suck."

Gary: "Beside the point." (brief silence) "Bitch."

/SLAM!/

(phone unplugged until further notice)