My mother is maid to the Lawyer, John J Carney. I know it's not the most romantic occupation, but it's helped us get by. It was only ever me and her, even know, at almost eighteen years of age, she hasn't told me anything about my father. I went through a period when I was eleven, where I thought I was the result of a rape, but when I got up the guts to ask, she hurriedly assured me I wasn't.

I grew up in the house where she worked. If you could call it a house. The mansion would have suited the Von Trapps, after Maria married the Captain and added like, five more kids to the mix. By the time I turned ten, I knew the house insides and out, main rooms, servant's quarters and hidden passageways alike. Of course it helped that most of my exploring took place on the arm of Mr. Carney's middle child.

Rebecca.

She was born a year after me and by the time I was four, we were inseparable. Becca and Steph, 'the terrible twins', as the rest of the house called us. We did have the same hair colour I suppose. But her hair was always longer than mine, and usually styled somehow, even when we were little. I just kept mine shoulder length until high school, when I eventually got it layered. It took me awhile to break out of my shell.

Everyone at the house called us playmates, but to each other we were best friends. We used to have constant sleep overs and the like. It got to the stage where, when Bec started school at five years old, she refused to make any friends because she didn't want me to feel bad. At six, I was instructed by Mr. Carney himself, to tell his second youngest child (Matty hadn't been born yet) that it was okay to make friends at school and that I had other friends at my school.

Which wasn't exactly true. I didn't make a single friend, aside from Bec, until I started high school. Back when I was ages five - eleven, I only had one pal.

And God, the two of us used to get into trouble! My head is still crammed full of memories of our exploring years, getting caught (literally) with egg on our faces, filling her mother's thousand (if not million) dollar shoe collection with manure from the garden, drawing an entire mural of stars, hearts and smiley faces with chalk on Mr. Carney's six foot pool table. Things like that.

I'm sure you can see why, when it was time, he gave me the money to go to a private high school, two hours away, that allowed boarders during the week. So once I reached the age of twelve, I was hardly ever at home any more. I still hung out with Rebecca on weekends but by then she was having other rich kids over to play and we barely saw each other.

There was one weekend I remember coming home to find her gone. I almost went insane, thinking she'd been kidnapped or something. But, as my mother reassured me, she was only staying at a friends place for the night. It was around that time when I realised I might not be her best friend anymore. I still counted her as mine, but I was old enough to realise that feelings weren't always returned.

Then there was a weekend where I didn't see her at all. Her absence struck me as odd by lunch time Saturday but when she hadn't made an appearance by four o'clock Sunday I went to talk to mum. She laughed softly, I remember, and she asked me to think of how old I was. Thirteen, I said. "And what year are you in?" I was in year eight. Oh, I realised. Bec had started high school.

But not only high school. She'd been sent to a proper boarding school. As in, not allowed out on weekends unless you have a note from your parents, no point going home on weekends because it would take half the weekend to get there and back, and no point going home on the holidays because it's about half an hour to the summer house any way.

Once I reached my third last year, I was allowed to become a full time boarder as well, so I was under similar circumstances. No summer house though, I spent my time away from school since I was fifteen, living in a flat with a few other students.

I had my first boy friend at thirteen. Lasted four months. Basically equated to my first relationship, first kiss and first experience with a guy's clumsy roaming hands. Geoff was a boarder at the male equivalent of my school. I suppose I was asking for it, going out with a guy named Geoff. I later realised, maybe I was asking for it, going out with a guy.

It was about two years later that I started finding out who I was, and it was obvious that part of me had a more than platonic liking to girls.

It was near a year after that when I had my first official girlfriend. Hannah Lithori. Long blonde hair, stunning grey eyes, almost as tall as me (she was 5' 8") and as slender as your average cat walk model. Didn't last long. She broke it off after seven weeks to get with one of my best mates. There weren't really any hard feelings.

I started going out with her older sister two weeks later.

I stayed with Jess until she finished school. Now she showed me a thing or two about loving a woman. It tore my heart when we split up. I have no doubt we would have stayed together if I was in her year but that just wasn't how it worked out. Neither of us wanted or needed the effort of a long distance relationship - me in my last year of high school, her in her first of college.

A few girls have hooked up with me at parties over this last year, but I haven't exactly been on the prowl. I think I can safely say I'm 'over' Jess, but it's still going to be hard as hell to find someone capable of filling the gap she left.

--

Mr. Carney just won this really huge case, so naturally, he's throwing a massive party. I've never been to one of his parties before. When we were kids we weren't allowed and I haven't been back home for the last three years, not that 'the help' (or 'the help's spawn' to be specific) would be allowed in for anything but carrying drinks.

I remember Bec and I used to watch the parties from some of our favourite hiding spots. Normally we'd be in our pjs, having snuck out after we'd been put to bed. Sometimes we'd crawl out in the gap between the second storey floor and first storey roof and look out through the leaves in the plasterwork.

The last two times thought, I remember we went into the domed roof via one of the secret passageways. There was a little cut out on hinges that we opened to let the music in. We dressed up those times, her in two beautiful summer dresses, me in jeans and a shirt. Even back then I hated wearing dresses.

The first time, we were so freaked out that some one would see us (through solid plaster and I don't know how many feet up) that we only stayed for fifteen minutes.

The second time though, was a month before I was set to go to high school, so I wanted to make it special. Galvanized by our success at not being spotted the last time, Becca agreed to meet me there rather than go together. I prepared for a solid week, 'borrowing' a platter from the stores in the kitchen (caterers would be used on the night anyway) also borrowing two champagne flutes (I still couldn't guess how much those were worth) and of course, emancipating a small bottle of the bubbly stuff from the head gardener’s personal stores.

I even made sure I could get to all the ingredients I would need for the finger food I wanted to put together. And don't forget the plush red velvet (with gold tassels) cushions I (cough) stumbled upon in the garden (library) and added to our secret place.

Oh god! I almost forgot James' shirt. It was his favourite thing, white with a very pale blue, widely spaced pinstripe. He'd had it for awhile and worn it out every time he could. I was hanging around the day Mrs Carney cracked and told someone to throw it out. Naturally, I followed the path of the shirt until it was just about to go in the bin when I asked if I could use the material for a craft project.

Anyhow, the shirt fitted me almost perfectly and I had a new pair of jeans that I waited for the party to wear, as well. I made up enough snack food to keep us going all night and I set up the champagne. I maintain the fact that there is nothing wrong with eleven and twelve year olds drinking a glass of champers when they're experimenting and having fun.

I remember I'd just finished setting up and was opening the little hinged door to let the music through, when she arrived. Even at eleven she was a stunner. That girl is the only thing in this world that can make me speechless. Thinking about it now, I had the biggest crush on her when we were kids.

Her dress this night was a mix of three different light (to pale) blues, over the top of a thin white cotton. The dress stopped before her knees (the shortest dress I think she'd ever worn) and it ended half way up her chest. Two thin straps and the shape of the dress were the only things holding it up. Her hair was out and free.

We acted like we thought adults would, being polite and distant, although we could barely contain our laughter. We ate a little and had a sip (more like gulp) each of our drinks. Then we got up to dance. It was a unanimous decision even though neither of us used words. We just both stood up, I took her hand and we walked over to where the music was coming in.

We took up the traditional dancing pose, her hand on my shoulder, mine on her hip while our linked others led the way. We'd danced before, as kids do, but never so serious as we were that night. I remember being afraid that she wouldn't turn up, because she'd started inviting new friends over and I thought I might have been becoming redundant. Which I was, just not that night.

It didn't take us long before we shattered the seriousness and started laughing uncontrollably. Then we changed to swaying while hugging. It didn't matter what song was playing, or how fast it was, we just kept swaying the same. I have no clue how long it lasted, although I have an idea we were like that for almost an hour. It was so sweet, so innocent. So childlike. Head on each other’s shoulders, her arms around my neck, mine around her waist.

We fell asleep in the roof, possibly because of the late night although Mrs Carney blamed the champagne (and basically me in general) for giving her: "the biggest scare of her life". We didn't get punished too badly, my thinking is because Becca's mum was just so happy I was leaving soon. Another bad influence on her sweet little daughter, gone.

That night is what I refer to as my last childhood memory. A month later I went off to a boarding school and learned about things from the other kids (through teasing mainly) like shaving legs, going out, not being allowed to be friends with everyone you might want, not using the soap dispensers in the toilets because the older girls spit in them, not wearing you uniform correctly, the list goes on.

And I still haven’t been to one of Mr. Carney's parties. But that's all about to change, because this time, I'm invited. As in, I recieved and invitation in the mail with my name scrolled in gold ink on a midnight purple card with silver type. Mrs Carney has interesting taste sometimes.

I just got notified that I'm going to law school, so for those at the Carney's house who know me, the party's to celebrate me as well as Mr. Carney's triumph. The man himself even sent a limo to pick me up for the night.

It feels so strange, being driven up the long drive, to the front door of the Carney's house. Just like I'm a rich kid. I'm part of a long line of ultra, ultra expensive cars although I can see the house is almost full. There's one more car in front of me that has to be unloaded before I make my 'grand entrance'.

I feel my hands go up to my hair but I push them down into the leather seat before they can touch the brown strands. I got a new haircut a month ago. I finally found a style that suited my personality - a short boy's cut, made up of different crazy cut layers, with just enough length to spike if I feel the need. Normally I just let it stay in the mess it gets over night though.

Tonight however, is a slight exception. I 'styled' the mess for this special occasion. I know what type of people will be at this party and it annoys me. They are people who, hopefully, one day I will be working under. Especially with Mr. Carney's influence behind me. They're what I like to affectionately call 'suits' and they think they're the most perfect people on this planet. And I know, me just being me is going to annoy them, but I can't help it. The hair might be (a little) overdone but I don't think it'll put off any future clients/bosses. Most of them wont remember me in the morning anyway.

This is it. The door to my ride is being opened and a hand is being offered. I look at the hand and follow the arm to a face I used to know so well.

"Put your hand away, Tom. You never know what might happen to it." I watch him examine me until his face registers surprise that quickly turns to joy. He stands up and moves away from the door. I make my way easily out of the car and find that I'm eye to eye with the man I used to call uncle. We both smile in greeting and I lean forward to give him a quick hug.

"I hope you've grown out of your biting stage by now." He brushes my cheek with a hand. "I'll see you tomorrow." I start to walk towards the great door. "It's good to see you home, Stephanie." I flash a smile back in his direction and walk over to the bouncers. Between the muscled crowd, sitting at a table, is a small snivelling man, who I know I have not missed. He looks up from his list to be greeted by one of my best scowls.

"Stephanie Waters," I hate the way he says my name, as if he owns it. He looks up and down my men's shoes, black pants, white designer shirt, tailored pinstripe suit jacket and haircut. "I'm sure you know where the servants' entrance is by now." Has he forgotten he's the gardener? I take a step forward and lean on his table with both hands. He shrinks back and I feel the heavyweights start to move in.

"You wish, Ellis." I say it with a hiss in my deep voice. That's when I feel two sets of strong arms wrap around each of my biceps. I push back the automatic reaction to struggle and take a breath. I look for one of the guards and catch his eye. "My invite's in the left breast pocket." I say calmly and look away as he gently reaches in and pulls out the card.

He makes a show of examining it. "It says here, one Stephanie Waters should be on the list." His cronies let me go and I reach for the invitation. When I look back at Ben Ellis now, I find him scanning through the list in front of him. His eyes widen and he places a small tick next to what must be my name. He glances at the next person in line and motions for them to come forward. But I'm not moving yet.

"Is that how you usually treat a guest of Mr. Carney?" I can't help how much I hate this man.

"If you would go right through Miss, the party is inside." I give him one last glare as our eyes meet, just before I walk off. He knows what the glare means. He's been subjected to it since I was seven and the 'incident' happened. The look means that I'll get him back later. Which of course, I will.

At the door, I smile at Jack Palmer as he holds the heavy wood open and he practically beams back. Jack's a few years older than me, the son of Mr. Carney's chauffer. After he graduated high school, he came back and took a position on the staff.

One step into the entrance hall and I'm hit with noise. I differentiate music from the talk and look to my left to find a mini orchestra playing to the side. Just how I remember.

"Look at that hair..."

"Who's that?"

"I love this song."

"...hey, reckon you'll get lucky with that one?"

I smile to myself as I hear some snatches of conversation. I love it when people mistake me for a boy. I even bound my chest tonight, so that I was sure to get just that reaction. I have nothing against my B cups, it's just that sometimes it can be fun to be something you're not. I suppose it's strange, for someone who prefers to blend into the background normally, to enjoy getting so much attention from strangers, but hey, that's me.

I feel a hand on my forearm and turn to find a lady in deep red satin smiling seductively into my brown eyes. I recognize her immediately. Trisha Duncan is the adopted sister of Luke Duncan, third generation Billionaire. His grand father was a code breaker in WWII and was hired in the 50s by some eccentric millionaire for something 'Top Secret'. Anyway, he did his thing and was named the sole beneficiary of the eccentric's estate and combined wealth. He invested well and now the family is well established as 'rich'.

"How does a pretty boy like you find his way to the most boring party of the year?" She seems to yap like a dog, rather than speak and I have to take a moment to stop myself from laughing. In response to my silence, she hooks her arm through mine and digs her red nails lightly into my flesh. "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter, seeing as we've found each other now." I raise an eyebrow at her tenacity. She waves excitedly to some old codger on the other side of the room before looking back at me. "You'll have to excuse me, it's past time I made my peace with Sal but I'll see you later." She moved to pull away but I held her arm.

"I'm not sure if I'll be here later," I said to her in mock seriousness. "It being that time of the month and all, I might go home early." I glanced down at my stomach before looking up to find her eyes wide with surprise. "I'm sure you understand." I let go of her arm and watched as she almost ran to Sal, whoever he was. It was one name I didn't know. Surprising because I try to learn as much about everyone as I can. Mr. Carney told me once that a good lawyer knows something about everyone.

I shook my head at Trisha and her belief that I had my period tonight. It's a line I've used before. I turned my attention back to the room to see who I could find. There were hundreds of people crammed into the bottom floor and top balcony of the Carney's home. Not to mention out on the terrace or in the gardens. Or upstairs bedrooms and bathrooms for that matter, as I'm sure the case was for some guests already.

I glanced up at the walls and at the flowered pattern showing the separation between floors. I imagined two sets of eyes staring out, listening to music and watching the adults. My vision next flew to the very shut section of the domed roof and I could almost see the two of us dancing behind the plaster. Shaking my head at the memories, I looked around for a familiar face and eventually found Doris Holder.

Doris was the closest thing we had to a nanny when we were kids. I smiled to see her again after so long and made to move through the crowd to where she was serving finger food. It was then that a song ended, and in the lull between tunes, some sketches of conversation found my ears.

"...how many times do I have to say it?" Even after this long, there's no mistaking her voice. My head turned slightly and I couldn't look away from the girl standing a few steps up on the stairs.

"As many as you want baby, you know I'll keep asking 'til I hear you say what I want." The boy was standing at the bottom of the stairs, gripping her wrist.

"I'll ask you nicely one more time. Please go, Doug." I didn't like the way the conversation was going, or the tone of her voice, so I inched closer.

"C'mon Bec," he lowered his voice slightly. "You know you wanna fuck me. You've wanted to fuck me since we were like ten." Right, no way do I like this kid. I moved up behind him, only a few feet away from the two of them.

"If you don't leave the party right now," her voice is deadly serious and as cold as ice. The nice asking out the window. "I'm going to have my father file a restraining order against you, Douglas Finn." Douglas Finn, son of Michael Finn, one of the most dodgy business men around. Mr. Carney has gotten both Finns out of trouble on more than one occasion. I took one more step so that I was close enough for the two of them to hear me clearly.

"That would go nicely with the other two on your shelf, Doug." I said conversationally to him. He turned to me and had to look up several inches because he took after his father in stature.

"I don't know who you are," he said angrily. "But you're not welcome in this conversation, so piss off." I raise an eyebrow at him and cross my arms in front of my chest.

"I'm the person telling you to get out of Rebecca Carney's face, out of her house, and out of her life, comprende?" He squared his shoulders instinctively before taking note of what he was up against. I'm almost half a foot taller than him and even under a shirt and jacket he can tell I've got a fair set of muscles. "I wouldn't want to try me." I said it quietly, almost under my breath and he shuddered before dropping Rebecca's arm and making a quick exit.

I watched him leave via the front doors and couldn't help the smirk on my lips as I turned back to Bec. The look on her face wasn't entirely dissimilar. She looked down at me with curiosity and a little bit of recognition. I can't believe she doesn't know who I am. Maybe it's the bound chest, haircut and clothes.

She's certainly not the little girl who got me to cut her hair when she was four. The purple shade of her strapless dress had managed to tint her usually blue eyes to indigo, her straight brown hair was let loose to brush the tops of her (newly to me) pronounced breasts and I could see her slender legs revealed through an off centre split, leading down into her thinly strapped stilettos. Her voice broke me out of my trance.

"I know your face," she reached out an arm, her hand shaping my features on the air between us. "But I can't remember." She shook her head at herself.

"I'll give you a hint," I said with my most playful smile. I can't help being a flirt. "I'm a girl."

"I know that." My eyebrows shot up of their own accord at the speed and surety of her answer. How can she not know me if she knows I'm a girl? Has it really been so long, or is she just playing me? We stood there, still, for several minutes, the party flowing on around us.

We were at a stalemate. But it was soon broken.

"Well if it aint the terrible twins, together again." I turned to our old nanny and gave her a huge hug. She kissed both of my cheeks and the tip of my nose before giving me another hug. "When did you arrive?"

"Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes ago."

"Have you spoken to him yet?"

"I was going to go pay my respects after I said 'hi' to my family."

"I think he was waiting for you, so you might want to bi-pass the rest of us and go see him after the two of you are finished here." She looked from me to Rebecca behind me. "It's so good to see the two of you together after so long." She beamed. "Any way, folk must eat, so I'd better get back."

"Where's mum?" I asked Doris quickly before she could leave. "I haven't see her yet."

"Maria's - got the night off." Doris said hurriedly. "You'll see her tomorrow. I've really got to get back though." She returned to her station before I could ask why my mother wasn't working. Internally my head shook before I looked back at Bec. She just smiled.

"Dad's over there." She nodded towards one section of the house. "I'll see you later, Stephanie." Then I had to stand there and watch her hips swish their way up the staircase. I had to squeeze my eyes shut and re-open them to focus again. Come on Steph, she’s your ex-BFF, not a potential girlfriend.

And what, may I ask, is the difference between the two?

Oh, shut up you.

I shook my head to clear it and headed towards where she said I could find her father. He was easy enough to find, all I had to do was look for the thickest group of people in the whole place and he’d be at the middle. Luckily for me, Cherie saw me and managed, unlike her younger sister, to recognise me. After a hug and a few words of congrats for my scores, she had me through the crowd in no time.

"Congratulations on winning the case, Mr. Carney." I said sincerely and took his hand to shake it.

"Congratulations to you, Steph, for a year well done, and good luck for you in the next few." We smiled at each other and he reached into the breast pocket of his jacket. He drew out a thin envelope and handed it to me. I could feel the shape of a cheque inside and openly gawped at him. "College fees, Steph. No don't look at me like that." He chastised. "I expect you to be working on my staff in your spare time before you pass the Bar exam. Then I plan to make you part of the firm." I felt my mouth opening and closing silently. "Are we agreed?"

"Of course, sir. If you're sure."

"I am."

"Then thank you, Mr. Carney. Thank you very much."

"Make sure your hair’s a bit neater next time you meet my friends though, alright Steph?"

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I had the urge, you know me." He smiled, knowing I was referring to my famous 'urges' being carried out when I was younger. He was already being manoeuvred away from me as he finished the conversation.

"Have a good night Stephie." Don’t worry, sir. I plan to.

Any more immediate thoughts were cut off by a medium sized body as it collided with me from behind. I felt arms wrap around my waist and twisted my neck so that I could look over my shoulder to see who had taken me captive. The thatch of unruly blonde hair gave it away.

"Hey, Matty." I smiled at the boy as he lifted his head to look at me. He grinned back before letting me go.

"It's been ages since I saw you Steph!" He obviously hasn't learned to turn down his voice level yet. "I'm hungry, wanna eat?" His mind's still all up and down too.

"Sure, I missed lunch today, so I'm starving." At the table I watched as the boy piled his small plate with as much food as it was capable of carrying. I chose a few small pastries and managed to drink an entire glass of red wine before Matt finished piling his second plate.

He caught my eye and motioned his head to the gardens. I nodded and couldn't help smiling at the boy in front of me. He'd grown up so much in the last three years. That was how long it's been since I was home. And in the few years before that I only saw him on weekends and holidays. Matty and Liv (Olivia was the child between Matt and Bec) would hang around me when Bec wasn't there to take my attention.

"Hey," I began once we'd found a relatively quiet place on the edge of the terrace to sit. "I didn't miss your birthday, did I ?"

"Nup." He shook his head and I was surprised no food came out of it. "Three months." He added after another bite of a sandwich.

"Jeeze, Bec and I were never allowed at a party when we were eleven." I took a small bite of a pastry and almost spat it out - there was some sort of cream cheese inside. Whatever happened to normal food?

"Maybe I'm special then." Matt smiled, knowing that I'd been implying that anyway. We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"If you're here then Liv must be too, right?" I asked. I didn't want the girl to feel left out if I said hi to everyone but her tonight. I always had a soft spot for her. Bec never wanted her around but I didn't mind her company.

"Ugh, yeah." Matty frowned through three different types of sandwich. "She's with her boyfriend somewhere. I was gonna see if they were in one of the secret places when I got bored. Wanna come?"

"You know, if you do that to her now, she'll do it to you when you get a girlfriend."

"Urgh, like I want a girlfriend."

"Boy friend then?"

"What?! I'm not gay!" The way he almost yelled it made me suppress a flinch and smile to cover it. When would people get over their fear?

"Still," I continued after a short break. "She's lived here longer than you, and she knows almost all of Bec and my secrets. I think she'd get you back pretty bad if you interrupted her."

"And haven't I seen five piles of saw dust appear in the last month?" We both turned to look at Rebecca as she walked over to us. "I don't think she'll let you have a skateboard ever again after the last time."

"She chipped five, skateboards?" I asked, smiling at the thought. "We really did teach her well." I looked straight at Bec again and saw the sparkle in her eye that meant she was up to something. That sparkle mixed with her grown up looks was enough to make me gulp, and I don't think she missed my reaction.

"I think it's time you danced with me." Her voice dropped a notch for the invitation, although not enough for Matt to realise something was up. It was just enough for me to realise she might mean something more than wanting to dance with an old friend. Or was that the red wine talking? I blinked at her and made to stand up.

"That's not fair, Becca." Matt jumped out of his chair and crossed his arms along with the whine. "I haven't seen Stephie for three years and I wanted to see her! You didn't until now. How come you get to take her just like that?"

"Because she's my friend not yours. No matter what you say, I've known her for the longest." I raise my eyebrows at the childish sibling fight before me.

"Not that I'm not flattered to be the centre of this, but 'A', I'm going to be here for most of the summer, and 'B', Matty, I've already caught up with you tonight. Don't you think it's your sister's turn?" He lowered his head and nodded. I looked up at Bec, who smiled and held out a hand for me, which I ignored.

She frowned and dropped the hand before her brother saw her out on a limb. Matt raised his head when he realised I hadn't gone yet.

"Bec, don't you think you should apologise to Matty for saying he wasn't my friend?" She almost yelled 'no' at me but I tilted my head and widened my eyes, asking her to go with it. It wouldn't be the first time I'd taken charge out of the two of us. Her body seemed to sigh, although no sound came out and she nodded her head.

"Sorry, Matty." It sounded so contrite, I almost believed her. "You are Stephie's friend, I was just jealous because I haven't seen her for so long. Is it okay if I dance with her?"

"Sure. I'm sorry for being such a brat with your shirt the other day." Bec stepped forward and gave Matt a hug.

"I'll hang out with you some time these holidays, I promise. I know I haven't really been around lately."

"Cool! If I get a new skateboard, can I teach you some tricks?"

"Sure, but we might have to ask Liv along too, otherwise it'll probably end up sawdust like the others."

"I'll ask her tomorrow. Night Stephie." He gave me a hug again then turned to go into the garden. "Have fun dancing." I blinked and turned to look at Bec. My eyes narrowed.

"Did I miss something here, because that was all very, 'Days of Our Lives'." Rebecca smiled at me.

"I've been the biggest bitch to him since he used one of my favourite shirts as a pirate flag. Complete with white paint Jolly Rodger."

"I can't imagine you ever being a bitch." I said it quietly, half joking, half serious, not entirely sure which feeling was more prominent. She frowned and looked away from me. Tonight was obviously the time for apologies.

"I - " she stopped abruptly then tried again. "Nothing I say will make the times I ignored you go away. I'm sorry Steph." She looked up at me. "I miss being your friend. You're this real person, not like the kids at school. You were my friend because you wanted, not because your parents wanted in on dad. I get it if you're pissed at me." I mulled over her words. Did she want to be my friend because I wasn't trying to take advantage of her? Or because she still wanted to be mine? I don't think it mattered at this point.

"Friends?" I held out my hand to her gingerly, sure that I wanted this. She hardly paused before snaking her arm out and gripping my hand gently. Our eyes were drawn simultaneously to the joined limbs as a flower of warmth burst and began trailing up our respective arms.

Bec took a step forward and I was too overwhelmed to realise that she was threading our fingers together until the deed was done. She squeezed and I squeezed back. I began to be able to discern the tingles then, the tiny shudders jumping up my arm. The last time I felt them, I was hugging Jess goodbye before she left for college.

I looked up, shocked, to find Rebecca about a foot away, a little to the side, looking deep into my eyes. Her head was tilted down, as if she wanted to keep our hands in view even as she studied me through my wide eyes. Through her hand I could feel her speeding pulse, but through her eyes I could see it.

Was she just reacting to me, and my obvious feelings for her? Or did she really return them? I could only hope it was the second option, yet as I felt the wine flow through in my veins, I knew I couldn't risk being around her tonight. She'd been at the party longer than me, what if she'd had too much to drink? What if I did something she didn't want? What if -

I dropped her hand and turned around to walk off. This was the wrong time. Any time had to be better. But before I could take a step, I felt her hand close around my forearm and hold me back. I clenched my eyes shut and refused to turn around. I felt her step forward, careful not to bend my arm the wrong way.

I felt myself take a sharp breath as her body pressed lightly up against mine. The hot breath on my ear made my neck loose it's rigidity, letting my head fall back onto her shoulder. She took another breath and let it out before whispering.

"I know you felt that." I also felt her arms snaking around my waist. "I don't know why, but I know what it was." She dipped her head and placed a light kiss on the spot where my neck and shoulder muscles joined. "In there, no one know you. All they'll see is me with a hot guy." She kissed my ear before finishing her plea. "So what do you say? Dance with me?"

I opened my eyes and looked in at the party. Life was still going on around us. Even out here, on the terrace, people were moving around us, taking no notice. I felt her head move slightly and my body shuddered at the soft kiss to the back of my neck. She had me.

I turned around in her arms and smiled at Bec. She mirrored me as I leant forward a few centimetres.

"On one condition." I said, leaning closer. She nodded and leaned towards me, trying to close the distance. "You have to let me lead." Her smile got bigger as I closed the gap and pressed my lips softly to hers. The warm tingling was back in an instant and she pressed harder into me, tightening her arms, wanting more contact.

I pulled back though, and stepped out of her embrace. We were both breathing heavily as I looked into her half lidded eyes. I smiled softly and took her hand in mine. No words were said as I led her to the dance floor and we wrapped our arms around each other.

The music was fairly slow, enough so that we could hold each other without attracting too much attention from the other dancers (of which there were a surprising large number). My arms went around her waist while Bec's found themselves around my neck. With her body pressed up to mine and her head next to my neck, it took a few minutes before I realised we were doing the same thing we had at the last party.

"Do you remember your parent's sixteenth wedding anniversary?" I asked softly, hardly having to move, as my mouth was level with her ear already. I felt her nod into me.

"Of course." She gave a small chuckle. "You wore James' favourite shirt."

"I think I've still got it somewhere." I smiled.

"I don't think it'll fit you now."

"It definitely wont do up," I lowered my voice slightly. "But somehow I doubt you'll mind the view." I felt her stiffen against me and for a second was afraid I'd said the wrong thing.

"Don't do that to me. It's not fair." She whispered back, nuzzling into my neck for a second.

"What?" I asked, pretending to be incompetent before deepening my voice an speaking straight into her ear. "You don't want to think about me naked?" A growl was my only answer as I held her tighter. The song finished a few moments later, and in the din afterwards, Bec spoke.

"I want to kiss you again." Her voice was low, and that glint was in her eye. "Take me somewhere." I took a second to think and decided on the place we danced at the last party. I took her hand and entwined our fingers again. I led her out of the crowd and glanced automatically up at the place where the door in the dome was situated.

I stopped in my tracks as I realised it was open. Damn Liv, I bet that's where her and her boyfriend are camped out for the night.

"What's wrong?"

"I think your sister beat us to it." I nodded at the roof and she followed my gaze.

"My room then, I don't care who finds us." Neither do I. We hurried up the stairs, fingers still linked. Half way down the nearly deserted corridor, I found myself being pushed through a door and into a bathroom. She had me against the wall and turned around in a flash.

I don't know who kissed who first but we collided and my tongue was in her mouth before I could think about stopping her. Her hands were wrapped around my waist in an instant, while mine were soon tangled in her hair. I was lost in her warmth and fighting for dominance when I felt her arms move as she tried to push the jacket down my own. I let go of her hair and pushed my body away from her, making sure we could still kiss.

The jacket was forgotten by both of us as her hands began to run along the waistband of my pants. She broke off the kiss and made me groan as she surged forward, hands moving up my stomach, under my shirt.

"I knew who you were." She whispers it into my ear. "I couldn't take my eyes off you after you walked in." Her fingers were running circles around my bare skin and doing insane things to the rest of my body. "I said to Liv, I said 'Steph's here' and she didn't believe me." Her hands ran around to my back and I leant towards her, begging for another kiss. "But I knew it was you."

She finished her sentence before obliging me as her hands rose higher along my body. And then, when I felt her hands splitting to go in two separate directions, the contact was lost. Bec's fingers had found cotton. Not a bra though, a bandage, a binding.

I tried to pull back, but the wall was behind me, so all I could do was stop the kiss. I looked away and stared at the tile floor. How could I have been so stupid? She didn't want to be kissing a girl, let alone a girl with a bound chest. I moved to the left to try and escape without looking at her, but she blocked me, and there was no way that I could force my way out - I could hurt her. She took hold of my cheek and make me look at her.

"It doesn't bother me, Steph." She looked into my eyes, concern showing plainly on her face. "Okay?"

"Really?" I couldn't help but ask it. I hadn't found one person who didn't think it was weird on some level. She nodded almost excitedly.

"It's just like wearing a bra." She leaned back in to kiss me, but I stopped her again.

"And that, doesn't bother you either?"

"What - you being a girl?" I nodded. "No way. Only stupid people have a problem with something like that." I couldn't agree more. It was then that I was forced to moan as she pressed closer to me, pushing a strong thigh between my own. I rapidly shut then opened my eyes to look at her as she began an achingly slow rhythm.

I tried to capture her back in a kiss as my arms went around her waist, and she wasn't one to disappoint. She rocked harder and I had to bite her tongue to keep quiet. She moaned loudly at the sharp pain I caused and sped up her movements both above and down below.

Unfortunately, that was the exact moment the unlocked bathroom door opened and another panting and kissing couple half barged, half fell into the room. It took only a brief moment before both couples took note of each other. After a moment of silence, to take in who had interrupted them, Steph brokered the most acceptable deal.

"No one hears of this. Agreed?"

"Agreed." The couple, who Steph knew to be married (not to each other), chorused. Everyone then looked to Rebecca.

"Deal." She nodded and the couple left. By the time she looked at me, I had my jacket back on. At her sulky frown I had to smile.

"We shouldn't be doing this right now, Becca." I tried to say it gently but she still stiffened in response. "We haven't spoken in the last three, nearly four years." She paused before nodding.

"You're right, as always. How do you do that thing with people?" She motioned at the hallway the couple had disappeared down. I shrugged and smiled back.

"Your dad told me once that you should know something about everyone, and everything about everyone you hold dear. It tends to help in confrontations of any sort."

"So they won't say anything to him?"

"Nup." I shook my head. "I think I'm gonna go to bed now, you want me to walk you home?" She chuckled before beaming and sticking out an elbow for me to take. I smiled back and we began the relatively short walk to her bedroom.

At the door, we stood uncomfortably for a moment before she leaned in to give me a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks for your help with Doug earlier." I had to think hard to remember what had happened before we held hands. When I remembered, I laughed out loud.

"Anytime. And I mean that." I let go of her hand and she opened her door.

"Goodnight Stephie, sweet dreams."

"Night Becca, sleep tight." We smiled at each other, the childhood sayings rolling automatically off our tongues. She shut the door and I was walking towards the servants' quarters. But with the way my heart was beating, and my blood was flowing, I knew that mum would know something was up as soon as she layer eyes on me. Mothers always know.

So, that was the reason I soon found myself sprawled out on 'uncle' Tom's couch, spare blanket covering my legs. As I drifted off to sleep, I ran over the night's events in my head. What was it Mr. Carney said to me? Oh yeah, have a good night. That, I most definitely, did.

It was impossible for me to know at that moment, just how bad everything was going to be from here on in.

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AN: Let me know if you enjoyed the first chapter because I'm notorious (on fanfic. net) for being bad with updates. Partially because I think my (metaphoric) muse has ADHD and partially because of doing the last year of high school at the moment.