“Freedom: A Collection Of Quotes”

R.M. Sanders 052208

Summary: (Collection, warnings of all sorts) To cement my last day of school in history… here are some quotes.

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(walking down the hallway)

Random girl: I hate teachers! They can suck my dick! (cusses some more)

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Tyler: Dykorita!

Me: Fagatron!

(we have Pokemon names for each other)

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Me: DYKORITA DYKE PUNCH! (punches some poor friend of mine really hard)

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Mrs. Shaw and Tony: (talking about the artistic value of having triangles in your artwork)

Patrick: (under his breath) Tony brings out the triangle in everyone.

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(in Biology, last year)

Stupid girl: What does (reads slowly) nonrandom mean, Mr. Bostick?

Me: (slams hand into forehead)

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Jackie: (to Eric, our Japanese acquaintance) You have really pretty eyes.

Eric: (didn’t hear) What?

Joseph: (bats his eyelashes and sidles up to Eric) You have really pretty eyeeeeesssss

--

(seniors’ last day was today)

Justin: (to me) Lauren, are you leaving today?

Me: No, I have to finish the painting I’m doing in downstairs D. Why, were you going to waste a hug on me?

Justin: Yeah.

Me: Sorry, I’ll be back. Then you can waste a hug. :D

--

Me: (to Rusty) Tell me again why your brother is going to Hooters on his thirteenth birthday.

Rusty: He knows the female anatomy…

Me: I know the female anatomy. That doesn’t mean I want to go to Hooters.

Rusty: He likes the female anatomy…

Me: I like the female anatomy, that doesn’t mean I want to go to Hooters. This argument has no point.

--

Some girl harassing Rusty: OMG UR GAY! (she totally talks in chatspeak)

Joseph: Did she just call you a geisha?

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Dr. McPeake: (about my painting in D Wing; anime charicatures of Patrick, Cece, and I) Just make sure the girls’ boobs aren’t huge, okay? (makes obscene gesture)

Me: (dies of embarrassment)

--

(the following quotes have been collected from Mme Daugherty’s second block French III class)

(Ryan/Raymond likes to write on the board)

Monday: Drugs save lives.

Tuesday: Nintendoxcore

Wednesday: Gay marriage is a crime. (with accompanying stick figures)

Thursday: Mme Daugherty smokes crack drinks, and shoots up heroin while tripping on acid, and drives.

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Brittany/Elisabeth: Who drew this Eiffel Tower on the page? It’s so cute!

Katlyn: It’s a stamp, silly!

(Katlyn was right)

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Ryan/Raymond: How’re they gonna carry in fourteen iced teas?!

Leslie/Bernadette: They’re in trays, dummy!

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Leah/Gisele: (talking about Sydney’s dad after Ryan/Raymond talks about hitting on Sydney’s mom) Think, like, 6’5” football player.

Ryan/Raymond: (mocking her) Think, like, baseball bat.

Leah/Gisele: Think, like, won’t even phase him.

--

Mme Daugherty: What’re you giggling about, Raymond?

Ryan/Raymond: I don’t giggle.

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(Sydney’s mom was ordering us some authentic French food from McDonald’s)

Sydney: (to Ryan/Raymond) What do you want?

Ryan/Raymond: Hash brownies!

Sydney: Okay, Mom, Ryan wants hash brownies.

Ryan/Raymond: Pfft. Yeah.

--

Mme Daugherty: Does anyone have a real conversation with Raymond?

Leah/Gisele: (immediately) No.

--

Mme Daugherty: Raymond, tu est paraseuse!

Ryan/Raymond: …?

Mme Daugherty: Tell him, Fleur!

Me: You are lazy!

--

Mme Daugherty: I still don’t get Spanish… it bothers me for some reason.

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Mme Daugherty: Do you think that chess is funner than video games?

Ryan/Raymond: (points to the cheaply drawn in the book) That one? Yeah, I mean, look how crappy it is!

--

Ryan/Raymond: (examines my manga) What language is that in…? Chinese? Japanese? Alaskan?

--

(watching some Scooby-Doo movie set in Mexico, yes, in FRENCH class)

Movie: Quit worrying about the Chupacabra and play with your skeletons in the graveyard.

--

(at home, watching the lottery; I’m not good with numbers, and I always see if I can make them add up to a multiple of three… for some reason)

Me: Oh! We could do five plus two minus two… which is… still five. /fail

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Dickweed: Are you a lesbian?

Me: Oh, yes, I LOVE GIRLS!! (blatant sarcasm)

(several minutes later)

Dickweed: Are you really?

Me: Oh, yes, still a lesbian.

Dickweed: Are you sure?

Me: …

(several minutes later… again)

Dickweed: Are you really a lesbian?

Me: Yes. (still blatantly lying my ass off)

(he goes on to ask me about eight more times, to each I reply in a very sarcastic manner that I am, indeed, still a lesbian; he thinks he’s funny… I got him suspended. I AM FUNNY.)

--

Dickweed #2: (to Rusty) Are you gay? (disgusted voice)

Rusty: (in a gay voice) Ohmigawd, yes!

Dickweed #2: (calls to Rusty’s brother, who is sitting about SEVEN BUSSEATS DOWN) Your brother is GAY!

Rusty’s Idiotic Brother AKA Dickweed #3: Yeah, I know.

Rusty: At least I’m not the one who cries to Mommy every time his brother walks into the room. (mocking) Oh, Mommy! Rusty’s gonna hurt meee!

Tyler: Awww, that’s not nice.

Me: (gasping for breath because I’m laughing so hard)

--

(this is after Tyler got off the bus the day that I got the Dickweeds and the girl that was harassing Rusty and I suspended)

Dickweed: Is that Tyler-guy really gay?

Me: Yes, and he wants to eat things off of you.

--

(and a little extra quote from my snuggle-butt, Jangalian)

Dickweed #4: (prints out seven papers)

Jangalian: Seventy cents, please. (apparently you have to pay to print things off?)

Dickweed #4: How about twenty-fives cents, and we call it even? Especially after that great sex we had last night. ;D

Jangalian: Uh, no. It’s numbers, pay up.

Dickweed #4: Okay, okay. (slaps three quarters down)

Jangalian: (goes to give him back the nickel)

Dickweed #4: No, no, keep it. It’s a little something extra for you. (suggestively)

Jangalian: Well, that’s good, ‘cause, really, last night wasn’t all that great.

Dickweed #4: (OWNED)

--

Author’s Note: Well, there’re my own collection of quotes. I enjoy reading them so much that I decided I needed my own. To celebrate my victory over the Dickweeds on my bus and to commemorate my very last day of school ever! I’m now officially an adult… I’m out in the grown-up world. I just hope it can handle me. :D