There’s only so long a child’s afraid

of the monster who lurks in the dark.

Before very long, they all discover

a nightlight’s small comforting spark.

.

If those little eyelids close right away,

the scaring’s not half so much fun.

It’s all about how long they lie awake shivering,

not about how far they run.

.

The fright is in anticipation

of a fear far too big to be real.

If someone is certain that they can sleep safe

then there’s no restless sleep I can steal.

.

I can’t possibly live up to the standard

the imagination has set.

The unknown will keep sharp the sickle

imagination has whet.

.

Furthermore . . .

.

There are more and more small-statured children

(the kind that I see every night)

who’ve seen such a plague of unhealthy movies

that nothing will give them a fright.

.

I moan and I scratch and I rustle and roar

and they think it’s all in their head.

Then sighing contentedly, turn off the lights

and brazenly go off to bed!

.

I usually can’t get a good-paying job

with a face that looks like raw meat,

so a windfall like scaring small children

makes my employment quite sweet.

.

I don’t want to stand in a soup-kitchen line

because your kid won’t scream when he should.

I confess that I want my big paycheck,

so please help me out if you could.

.

Don’t let your young kiddos watch something too old

for their precious and tender young minds.

That makes them less jaded, mature, and blase,

and more prone to bad nightmares, I find.

.

It just makes my life easier, and so I implore

that you shelter those children just right . . .

So that I may creep into their little cute rooms

and give them a scare in the night.