There are days when Xuan is so tired he only manages to eat a few mouthfuls of dinner and to shower briefly before collapsing in bed. Ethan worries about him on those days. He worries about him on all days, but those days are the worst.

"Hey, idiot," he says, "stop working so hard."

Once, Xuan snaps back, "I have to work hard. I didn't take the easy way out and become a history teacher."

Ethan looks hurt for a moment. Then he turns his face away. "Okay. Fine. I get it."

"Wait, Ethan. I'm sorry, I didn't--"

Ethan shakes his head. "It's okay."

But it's not okay. It's the furthest thing from okay, and Xuan knows that. Ethan doesn't act like it, but he's got regrets that he can't shake off, regrets about how he only went to a community college, about how he could have done better, about how he's disappointed his mom. He doesn't like to weight Xuan down with them, but Xuan knows.

"Ethan," he whispers as he hugs Ethan. "I'm sorry."

"Don't kill yourself over it," Ethan says.

"I didn't...I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't."

Xuan kisses him. "I love you..."

Ethan sighs and kisses his neck, some of his tension easing. "I love you, too. That's why I worry."

"I can take care of myself."

"When you remember to."

"I worry about you, too, you know."

"I don't overwork myself," Ethan says dryly.

"I'm not talking about just that. I'm talking about other things...like your dad, and how you're feeling, and--and--I just worry, okay?"

"Don't worry so much. I don't...unless it's important."

"I'm just saying," Xuan says, "that I worry because you try to take care of me, but I don't get a chance to take care of you. And I want to, I really do."

"You do take care of me." Ethan kisses Xuan's neck again, comfortingly. "I wouldn't even be a history teacher, if it weren't for you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I only say things I mean, you know."

"Okay." Xuan smiles. "That's good then."

"So you'll let me worry about you?"

"If you'll let me worry about you. It should go both ways."

"Okay, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I'm sure," Ethan says, and he smiles. "So in the end, maybe all this worry will balance itself out."