Arcana Zero:

The Fool

--

Twenty-four years, three months, two weeks, one day, eleven hours, seventeen minutes, and sixty seconds.

That's the approximate amount of time that Tarot Jones has been on this planet. In all of that time, there's not a single day that he could remember being this bad.

Not the day his pet hamster Zarathustra died.

Not the day that he broke his thumb doing a toe touch.

Not the day that he got fired from DrugRite because he wouldn't sleep with his manager.

Today, Monday, the fifteenth of October, beat them all, and it beat them with a large and pointy stick from the big, scary tree of doom.

It had started out innocuously enough. Tarot's alarm went off at 5:55am, he rolled himself out of bed at quarter 'til seven, and he arrived at his workplace, Ten of Cups, about two minutes before he was required to be there at ten after seven. Unfortunately, Tarot's shoe came untied during his brisk sprint to the bakery.

Little did Tarot know that a single loose shoelace would usher in the beginning of the worst day of his life.

“GOOD MORN-TING!!” Shouted a small Asian woman as Tarot entered the store from the back entrance. She was sitting at one of the numerous tables in the room, covering a plain yellow cake in white fondant.

“Lisa...you're all of five feet away from me...is shouting really necessary?” Tarot deadpanned, giving her a withering stare as he removed the bright rainbow scarf from his neck.

“Absolutely.” Lisa replied, smiling at him brightly. Lisa Hsiao and Tarot met in their first cake decorating class in culinary school. Within the first fifteen minutes of that class, they'd vowed to open a bakery together. Seven years, countless hours of culinary school, and approximately three metric fucktons of loan debt later, they were the proud co-owners of Ten of Cups.

“So, what's on the table for this week?” Tarot asked, rolling the sleeves on his black and grey sweater up.

“Three birthday cakes, three wedding cakes, a cake for the Zoo opening, and one...umm...funeral cake...” Lisa replied, muttering the last one and shifting her light brown eyes away from Tarot's shocked stare.

“Lisa, dearest, my little sugar dumpling pot sticker? Did you say what I think you just said?” Inquired Tarot, his dark blue eyes narrowed down to slits. His thin arms were crossed and settled on his nearly concave chest, and his weight was settled on his left leg in what Lisa liked to refer to as 'the bitch position.'

“Umm...and what did you think I said, my rainbow sprinkled cream puff fairy?” Lisa countered, smiling weakly at the increasingly vexed male now standing in front of the table she was working at.

“Oh, nothing important really. Just that we're supposed to make a cake for a FUCKING FUNERAL!” Tarot shouted, leveling the now grimacing girl with another devastating glare.

“Well, then yes. I did say what you thought I said. On the positive side, at least you know that you aren't going to need a hearing aid anytime soon.” Lisa replied, now smiling brightly from her chair.

Tarot merely stood in front of her table, fuming at the short girl. Her slightly chubby countenance maintained it's near ridiculous smile, however narrowly. Her medium length hair was pulled into a ponytail at the base of her neck, with ebony bangs draped artfully in front of her eyes. She was sporting a plain lavender tank top with a white flower off center at her waist, and a pair of jeans. She was barefoot, as she and Tarot were both wont to do when they were working, regardless of the possible heath concerns.

“Fine.” The blue-eyed boy finally said, pouting slightly. “But you get to make it yourself. I'm not putting my hands on a cake for a dead person.”

“Okay.” Lisa agreed, eying Tarot shrewdly. “You can make the Zoo cake then.”

“Deal.”

“Shall we start then?”

--

“Does this mean we get to go home early?” Tarot asked wearily. He and Lisa had been on fire while working. The two had managed to mostly finish the three birthday cakes in just one day, and at that just a little bit after lunch.

“I guess so.” Lisa replied, just as nonplussed as her friend. “'We'll just lock up and we can get out of here. You want to go to the park and watch the hobos get harassed by little kids?”

“...No. Thanks anyway, though. I'm gonna go home and surprise Johnny. I'll make him dinner and we'll have a night in. With him working this new night job, we hardly ever get to see each other, even though we live together.” Tarot replied, walking over to the coat rack to grab his scarf. The thin boy rolled down his sleeves and wrapped the rainbow fabric around his neck again.

“I guess I'll just call the other gay, then. Lord knows Sebastian has nothing going on. We can go to the mall and blow your paycheck on Jimmy Choo shoes...I mean...we'll watch movies.” Lisa replied with a cheshire cat grin on her face.

“You blow my check, I blow your apartment up. Got it?” Tarot threatened, one sable eyebrow arched elegantly. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a boyfriend to surprise.

And with that, Tarot breezed out of the door, leaving Lisa and the interns to lock up the store.

The boy walked briskly through the streets of the city. He lived in one of the trendier suburbs, a haven for the more alternative aspects of society that were unlikely to be accepted in the more upscale areas, so they'd decided to make their own. His rainbow scarf trailed behind him in the breeze, covering small pink lips. His skin was also slightly pink from the cold air, what with it being October. His long black eyelashes surrounded a set of dark blue irises. His light bone structure and small, slightly pointed nose completed his fae appearance, and led to Lisa's nickname of 'cream puff fairy.'

His blue black hair ruffled in breeze as he walked quickly across a heavily trafficked intersection. It was then that his shoestring decided to wrap itself around Tarot's right foot and send him toppling to the ground in an ungraceful pile.

“Fuck...” The boy muttered, his eyes filling with water at hitting the pavement. The sudden sound of screeching brakes sent his world into a tailspin, though. All the breath left his lungs, and his body quickly stopped responding save for his eyes, which widened dramatically as they shot upward.

He closed his eyes just as quickly as he looked up, clinging to the childish thought that if he couldn't see the vehicle hurtling at him, it wasn't there.

He braced himself when suddenly a sharp pain impacted his side, and that was all he felt. Dark blue eyes opened slowly, more than a little confused. Tarot found himself laying on his side, on the sidewalk, the car having missed him.

“I'm assuming you're alive, then.” A gruff voice came from above him. Tarot looked up to see a man silhouetted by the Sun, gleaming behind him. He was exceedingly tall, and had very broad shoulders that tapered to his waist, but Tarot couldn't discern any of his features because of the lighting.

“You saved me?” Tarot asked, his voice more than a little shaky.

“Hmph.” The man replied, holding out a large hand for Tarot. The boy gripped the hand wearily, and found himself yanked up into a standing position with a slight yelp.

“Hey! You could be a bit gentler! I just almost died!” Tarot cried, now glaring at the man from under sable bangs.

“Whatever. Next time, try tying your shoes, dumbass.” The taller man seethed, turning his back on Tarot and walking away.

“Asshole.” Tarot muttered, bending down to tie his shoelaces before moving on.

Of course, as soon as he started moving, it started to rain.

The boy ran the rest of the way to the apartment he shared with his boyfriend of just over a year, Johnny Chism. He sprinted up the stairs, and unlocked the door as quietly as possible, attempting to surprise Johnny.

Tarot toed his too-old converses off of his feet before peeling off his soaked socks. He then treaded lightly towards the bedroom, intent on the surprise.

Unfortunately, Johnny wasn't the only one surprised as Tarot opened the door to their bedroom.

“SHIT!” Johnny yelled, pulling a sheet over himself. The boy he was with flailed slightly before falling into the floor. “What are you doing home!? You aren't supposed to be home for another four hours!”

Tarot merely stood there, sapphire eyes the size of dinner plates, mouth slightly agape. “Uhh...I...you...well damn.” He stuttered, continuing to stare blankly. He then blinked.

And blinked again.

And kept blinking until his brain decided to commence operations again and he could form coherent thoughts. “I came home to surprise you because I got off work early and we never see each other. SUR-FUCKING-PRISE!”

“Umm...maybe I should just go...” Came a meek voice from the far side of the bedroom.

“SEBASTIAN!!” Tarot shouted. “What the hell is going on here!?”

“Well, you see, when two people--”

“I KNOW that much, you dumbfuck. I meant, why the hell are you sleeping with my boyfriend!?” Tarot shouted, blue eyes nearly aflame with anger. “You know what, I don't care! Just get the fuck out of my house!”

“Okay!” Sebastian squeaked, happy to be as far from Tarot's wrath as he could get. He bent over to get his clothes when he was interrupted.

“I didn't say you could get your clothes, I said get the fuck OUT of my house!” Tarot screamed, shaking in anger.

Sebastian paused, his eyes widened to near anime proportions. Tarot ran out of patience with the boy, but before he could take two steps towards him, Sebastian had regained his senses and fled the room.

“Was that really necessary?” Came an uneasy question from the bed. Tarot's head whipped back around and he met Johnny eye to eye, effectively shutting his soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend up.

“You dare to question me after I find you fucking my friend in the bed I bought for us with money I don't have in the first place!? Get out!” Tarot shouted, his pale skin nearing an unhealthy shade of red.

“What? I mean...can't we talk about this? I love you...” Johnny said, easing towards Tarot while giving him the sad puppy eyes with his baby blues.

“Hell, no. We cannot talk about this, if you had wanted to talk, we should've done it before you fucked Sebastian. Now, you can either get OUT of my house, or I'm going to kill you.” Tarot hissed, eyes darkening to cobalt.

“I'm gonna go now, but I'll call you later, okay baby?” Johnny asked, clothing himself.

“Don't you baby me! Or call me! Ever again!” Tarot cried, smoldering with anger.

“Okay, I'll just go then.” Johnny said complacently, ducking to kiss the shorter boy as he left.

“Do it and I will rip out your tongue and feed it to Ms. Denton's cats, you motherfucker!” Tarot raged, slapping the other boy across the face before shoving him out of their room and slamming the door on him.

Tarot waited a few seconds, and as soon as he heard the front door close behind Johnny, he let out a bloodcurdling scream.

Tarot screamed until he ran out of breath, and then he did it again for good measure.

Secure in the fact that screaming did, in fact, make him feel better, he smiled to himself lightly before setting about the task of systematically throwing Johnny's designer clothes out of their third-floor window and calling Lisa over for a bonfire fueled by his personal effects.

Indeed, Tarot thought, today sucked, but it's all uphill from here.

Mostly.

--

A/n: Ummm...I'm not dead.

Just in college.

I'm out for the summer, though, so I'm writing again.

This story is going to have 22 chapters, one for each of the Major Arcana of the Tarot, starting with The Fool, and ending with The World.

Each chapter is going to involve the interpretive meaning of that arcana.

I hope you like it!

Also, Ten of Cups is one of the minor arcana, it stands for the perfection of human love and friendships

Review, please!